What's The Worst Thing You Did in a Blackout?
 

I'd been drinking about 3/4 of a wine of magnum per day for eight years. I was fired twice specifically for being drunk and got to the place of despair and self-hatred. Yes, I knew I had a huge drinking problem. My solution was to try to hide my drinking from others because I didn't want them to think I'm an alcoholic lol. By my twisted thinking it didn't matter if no one else saw it.

Shortly before Christmas one year my brother brought me a beautiful Christmas tree and, in a fairly good mood, decided to trim it on a Saturday night. While I'd stopped drinking red wine because tannic acid made me drunk, someone had given me some fine Bordeaux. It's red and it's Christmas after all, so I opened the bottle. When I came out of the blackout I was in the ER of Mt. Siani Hospital in New York. It seems that during the blackout I thought it would be a good idea to kill myself and took a heap of Valium. A friend, who lives close by, knew I was home but I didn't answer the phone. So, he let himself into my apartment and called 911.

I came to with bright lights on me, my stomach pumped and half my face black from a fall. When I learned what happened I was horrified because I certainly didn't want to die. And to this day I have no idea why I tried to kill myself. I was forced to stay for three days in the hospital. I argued I didn't mean to do it so they put me in the general ward instead of Psych ward, tied down with 24/7 attendant. Doctors went on rounds three times per day. They'd come into the room and point to my roommate: "that's diabetes" then turn to me and say "this is pills and alcohol". My internist learned I was in the hospital and stopped by. He looked down aid said "I'm so sorry" and walked away.

After I got out I crawled on my hands and knees to AA, terrified because I knew that if I drank I'd kill myself but not believing it was possible to not drink. I got a sponsor and took every suggestion. The last drink I had was October 12, 1991. I know I can drink again but I don't think I have another recovery in me so I continue to go to meetings and not drink one day at a time.

The worst thing I ever did in a blackout was at a party a long time ago. I got smashed and ended up coming home wrapped in a blanket and nothing else! :yikes: I have no idea to this day who took me home, what happened to my clothes, or what I did...:(

Unfortunately, mine is a list...most of which should've resulted in my death, rape or incarceration. How I'm still alive today with a clean criminal record and not even a hospitalization is beyond me. College binge drinking is not the time to first experience alcohol, especially not during the most deep depression you've ever experienced...it was a deadly combination that I somehow survived.

Lol...I am with DrivenHeart on that one. Sadly though, I ended up in jail 3 times.

Define "worst".

Seriously, I have a list. But I don't want to go there. Detox, police. Hospitalizations. Broken bones.

Never again.

Thanks to the OP for starting this thread. Although I've been lurking on SR for several months now, this is my first post. Experiencing blackouts has what brought me to seek out AA and a therapist. Although my experiences weren't as 'near death' as some of the ones described before me, they really terrified me. I've realized when I would sober up that I was doing things that were putting my marriage in jeopardy (trying to arrange rendevouzs with ex-boyfriends, etc.) and having absolutely NO recollection of it whatsoever.

All of your stories and honesty has helped me to realize I'm not alone in what I'm confronting.

Congratulations on your 20 years of sober time. I'll skip my blackout stories, however, I do have plenty :)

I would have to try really hard to pick out the worst thing I did in a blackout. The truth is...I can't remember most of what I did in blackouts!

I can say, though, that I'm mighty glad I don't have them anymore.

Jeez where to start? I could name dozens of things I did during blackouts that could be considered terrible. I would say the time I drove hammered and almost T-boned a family in a minivan was one of the worst. I remember speeding so close to the van that I could see the expressions on the kid's faces as they sat in the back horrified.

There are tons of instances, self mutilation, harming others, unsafe sex, drug abuse, pathetic drunken suicide attempts, picking just one is tough.

Most of the worst things I've done while drinking I actually remember.

My roommate and I were arguing one night after lots of drinks and I pulled a kitchen knife out. I felt cornered and that was my first reaction. We got separated to calm down and still to this day feel stupid over it. But we still live together and are great friends. Alcohol makes you a dumb, numb, stupid person out of me. Glad to be rid of it and almost 6 months sober.

Jeez, this could take a while. Let me start by saying the past 2 years of my drinking I blacked out literally EVERY time I drank. So:

- Driving in a blackout hundreds of times
- Hit and Run, leaving the scene of an accident in a blackout
- Unprotected sex
- Ended up in jail three times and still to this day don't know what I did to get there
- Ended up in the hospital a half dozen times
- Drank peroxide and rubbing alcohol

I'll stop now...

Whoa. I should have died at least 10 times. I did everything you could do besides hurt someone else physically. And it is only by the Grace of God that that didn't happen. Scary, scary stuff.

Coming home from a club at 2 in the morning,
driving into some road construction less than
a mile from my home, front wheel hitting a
2ft. notch cut out in the road, running off the
road hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top
the ground.

A passer by called EMS and they came to my
rescue which i vaguely remember. I was told
I stayed in the car, but had to be cut out
of the wreckage.

I cried calling out my babies which they thought
I had in my car with me. Thank God they
werent. Away i was taken for the first time ride
in an EMS truck and dont remember it.

My family got the early morning called and met
me at the hospital where i stayed for 10 days
with them removing my punctured spleen so i
wouldnt bleed to death. Then another operation
to remove fluid from my lungs along with numerous
contusions, broken ribs and bones.

That drunk driving incident didnt stop me from
going back to the craving of poison that was so
strong for me to control. Within 3 months i
picked up a drink again, same club, same time coming
home to only end up trying to end my miserable
failure of a life which thank God was unsucessful
as I am here 21 yrs later sober to tell you about it.

People might want to be careful about "confessing" to any illegal acts on a public forum. Personally, I would never even admit to an alcoholic blackout in the first place.

I'm not confessing to anything but the subtly shameful relief of looking out the window and seeing that the car made it home in one piece--must have driven itself 'cause I got a ride...rrrriight. Just waking up and remembering going to bed for the last month or so has been divine.

the last thing i remeber, we were all happily playing some drinking game with jack. I woke up in a gutter, peed myself and was picked up by the cops, thrown in jail and was in a city I had never been in before.....yikes, still dont know what happened, dont want to know either

What did I do that I don't remember doing? Is this a trick question?

I guess by definition anything is possible. I get a kick out of blackout drinkers who hear some really awful drinking experience of another and are glad that they never ever did that.

Welcome Colette!

I never fully blacked out.

I was black and blue and banged up all the time and didn't always remember what cause reach one.

I do not remember...
I was in a Blackout.