violetflame

Well ,I didn't make it. Back on day 1 again. Naltrexone was making me very dizzy so I stopped it on the Wednesday before TG. I had some wine on TG and I know there is no excuse but well, I just was not happy being there with my family. I did not drink Friday or Sat night , but, then i ended up blowing it last night simply because I was bored and I got into the "what the hell" mentality. It was sooo not worth it. Had nightmares all night and I was 2 hours late to work today. Funny thing was, all I had was 3 glasses of wine. I was AF Friday and Satruday night so I guess my body was upset and gave me a hangover as though I had drank twice as much. I don't know why something just clicks and becomes stronger than me. It has a lot to do with boredom and loneliness and a lack of purpose. I need to start socializing more and writing and just doing positive things because I really don't want to go down that spiral again. So I guess I will be joining the Class of Decmeber and making a new plan for this week.

Robbie86

Sorry to hear of your relapse Violetflame , I think it is good that you have identified your triggers and that you are going to do something about them , Good luck

IndaMiricale

Sorry also to hear about your slip,

but glad your back and thinking about what and why, and now you can move forward and dust yourself off.

InsertNameHere

Right there with you on day one, I don't know about you but I am just getting into this game of staying sober. To be honest I haven't been doing all that well so far but here is hoping that can change. I will be pulling for you because the more people I read about in my situation the more I say, well hell if they can do it why not me too. So Good luck, and my best wishes go to you.

mwstylee

I'm also on day 1 again after another bender. I hope this is all our last day 1.

doggonecarl

You should know that the more you relapse the worse the withdrawals can become. It is called the kindling effect. This from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:

"In many alcoholics, the severity of withdrawal symptoms increases after repeated withdrawal episodes. This exacerbation may be attributable to a kindling process. Kindling is a phenomenon in which a weak electrical or chemical stimulus, which initially causes no overt behavioral responses, results in the appearance of behavioral effects, such as seizures, when it is administered repeatedly. Both clinical and experimental evidence support the existence of a kindling mechanism during alcohol withdrawal. Withdrawal symptoms, such as seizures, result from neurochemical imbalances in the brain of alcoholics who suddenly reduce or cease alcohol consumption. These imbalances may be exacerbated after repeated withdrawal experiences. The existence of kindling during withdrawal suggests that even patients experiencing mild withdrawal should be treated aggressively to prevent the increase in severity of subsequent withdrawal episodes. Kindling also may contribute to a patient’s relapse risk and to alcohol-related brain damage and cognitive impairment."

Lot of science jargon, but it summarizes the danger. Relapses are NOT part of recovery. They are part of the addiction. They occur, but I hope you and anyone reading who is struggling with relapse will consider the risks and ramp up your recovery accordingly.

Google Kindling and alcoholic withdrawals for more information.

Dee74

It's still November - shoot to rejoin the November class VF

D

Anna

Use what you learned Violet, and it doesn't have to happen again.

Jay1980

Boredom and free time are huge warning signs for me. I know sometimes it's tough to fill an entire 24 hours but are there any interest/hobbies you could get into? Just something to try to take your mind off of a drink when you start feeling the cravings.