Tips For Staying Sober on Thanksgiving
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Tips For Staying Sober on Thanksgiving
Last night at a meeting someone reminded me how tough the holidays are for those of us trying to stay sober. "Alcoholism is a three-fold disease: Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years". Now that I have quite a few sober turkey days under my belt I want to share a few tips that have helped me get though these holidays.
First, you must understand that addiction is a life and death disease and be committed to not drinking. And you are responsible for drinking or not drinking; if you don't put your sobriety first you'll loose it, especially during big holidays. And, I think it's important to not underestimate the power of alcoholism: it is NOT a rational disease. Just because we know we shouldn't drink doesn't mean we won't.
If you're dining at someone else's house:
1. Always have a beverage in your hand, like diet coke or club soda.
2. Before going touch base with another sober person and, if you feel anxious, angry or any negative emotion during the day, plan to call that person to get support.
3. Understand that you can leave anytime you need to.
4. If you're fairly sure someone will get drunk, make an excuse and stay home or make other plans. Trust me, being in the company of a drunk when we're trying to stay sober is pure torture.
5. If you are tempted to drink, say "My name is _______ and I have one day back".
If people are coming to your home or you're cooking, ask someone else to be in charge of serving alcohol. It's unnerving to have the bottles sitting in front of you and no fun to handle it when trying to stay sober.
Your tips and experience?
First, you must understand that addiction is a life and death disease and be committed to not drinking. And you are responsible for drinking or not drinking; if you don't put your sobriety first you'll loose it, especially during big holidays. And, I think it's important to not underestimate the power of alcoholism: it is NOT a rational disease. Just because we know we shouldn't drink doesn't mean we won't.
If you're dining at someone else's house:
1. Always have a beverage in your hand, like diet coke or club soda.
2. Before going touch base with another sober person and, if you feel anxious, angry or any negative emotion during the day, plan to call that person to get support.
3. Understand that you can leave anytime you need to.
4. If you're fairly sure someone will get drunk, make an excuse and stay home or make other plans. Trust me, being in the company of a drunk when we're trying to stay sober is pure torture.
5. If you are tempted to drink, say "My name is _______ and I have one day back".
If people are coming to your home or you're cooking, ask someone else to be in charge of serving alcohol. It's unnerving to have the bottles sitting in front of you and no fun to handle it when trying to stay sober.
Your tips and experience?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York City
Posts: 221
Thanks for the tips, neighbor!
This holiday is the last gulag in the way of my 1 year cessation date on the 29th! Last year, I had my last bender and bad 'episode' in the wake of Thanksgiving. Your tips function as a reminder of how far I've come, and that there remain to be challenges ahead.
Thanks.
This holiday is the last gulag in the way of my 1 year cessation date on the 29th! Last year, I had my last bender and bad 'episode' in the wake of Thanksgiving. Your tips function as a reminder of how far I've come, and that there remain to be challenges ahead.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 170
Thanks for the tips! I know that I and only I dictate whether I drink or not. I'm only 45 days in, but I feel pretty comfortable about the holidays! It will be a nice test since some of my relatives will question my non-drinking. Until I get more time under my belt, I don't really feel like telling people just yet that I don't drink.
) pray until you can't pray anymore!!!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I would say "be prepared to want to drink"
If you're anything like me you'll want to drink because...
You're not fooling anyone. You want to drink because.you.are.an.alcoholic.
So WHEN the craving comes shrug it off. There is nothing earth shattering about an alcoholic craving a drink! No need for
. Just don't drink and do something else instead. (you must! You can't just 'not drink'. You must to do something else instead! It'll make it so much easier!).
It's not easy. But it's not complicated, either
If you're anything like me you'll want to drink because...
- it's Thanksgiving!
- who quits during the holidays?!
- one last hurrah!
- you have a hangover!
- who can deal with being sober with your family!
- who wants to deal with early sobriety crankiness during Thanksgiving!
- there are other people around so this time you swear you won't overdo it!
- there will be a lot of food to absorb the alcohol!
You're not fooling anyone. You want to drink because.you.are.an.alcoholic.
So WHEN the craving comes shrug it off. There is nothing earth shattering about an alcoholic craving a drink! No need for
. Just don't drink and do something else instead. (you must! You can't just 'not drink'. You must to do something else instead! It'll make it so much easier!).It's not easy. But it's not complicated, either
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Oh, I forgot an important one:
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRINK!!
When someone pointed this out to me in early sobriety I as astounded. It never occurred to me that I didn't have to drink. In fact I never even tried to stop ... until crossing the portal of AA after nearly killing myself.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRINK!!
When someone pointed this out to me in early sobriety I as astounded. It never occurred to me that I didn't have to drink. In fact I never even tried to stop ... until crossing the portal of AA after nearly killing myself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 426
in my experience, the only instances of thanksgiving day not devolving into a blackout trainwreck were, perhaps not coincidentally, the ones i spent volunteering in soup kitchens. hard labor and humility are not a bad option if you are looking for a way to keep the day in perspective.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
This used to be my signature when I first came SR:
I make a resolution every night that I am not going to drink the next day no matter what. I reaffirm it in my mind when I go to sleep. When I wake up the next morning I reaffirm again, and again and again all thru the day.
I am still a newbie, only 14 1/2 months sober, but I still practice the above statement to date, holiday or no holiday. Stay your course, abstaining is easy once you determine in your mind, in your eyes AND in your hearth what it is that you have to do. Wishing all strength this Thanksgiving day.
I make a resolution every night that I am not going to drink the next day no matter what. I reaffirm it in my mind when I go to sleep. When I wake up the next morning I reaffirm again, and again and again all thru the day.
I am still a newbie, only 14 1/2 months sober, but I still practice the above statement to date, holiday or no holiday. Stay your course, abstaining is easy once you determine in your mind, in your eyes AND in your hearth what it is that you have to do. Wishing all strength this Thanksgiving day.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
If you happen to be in A.A. check around for meeting locations that stay open 24/7 through the holidays just for this purpose. Our group will begin at 8:00pm tonight and stay open non-stop through 8:00pm Friday. Same for Christmas and New Years.
Also, look up your local AA Intergroup number as a stand-by. If you find yourself in a pickle, call the number and reach a recovering alcoholic at the other end of the line 24/7.
If you have a sponsor or just someone you are accountable to then check in with them before you go and when you get home. If things get intense then step aside somewhere out of the way and call them during the festivities.
Make sure you have your own way home rather than relying on someone else who may not be ready to leave or worse, may be drinking. If you happen to go with someone who supports your recovery 110% then straight up agree that if you need to leave then you leave with no questions asked (my RAH and I do this and have since we were dating.)
Search yourself and make sure you are in a good place (spiritually fit for the AA crowd) and then go if you are. Stay home if you have misgivings.
Be very careful when it comes time to eat as some people go nuts with alcohol when cooking and don't tell people. Desserts are prime examples. I got hold of a chocolate covered pecan at an office party of all places. It never occurred to me that the darn thing was SOAKED in rum or something. Thank God I was back at my desk so people didn't see me spitting it out and gargling with diet coke LOL!
Once you have your beverage keep it in your hands at all times. If you have to set it down and walk away for something then just get a new (safe) one. People just carelessly leave their drinks around and it is very easy to confuse them. You may end up with a mouthful of something unexpected if you are not careful.
I hope these help.
Kellye
Also, look up your local AA Intergroup number as a stand-by. If you find yourself in a pickle, call the number and reach a recovering alcoholic at the other end of the line 24/7.
If you have a sponsor or just someone you are accountable to then check in with them before you go and when you get home. If things get intense then step aside somewhere out of the way and call them during the festivities.
Make sure you have your own way home rather than relying on someone else who may not be ready to leave or worse, may be drinking. If you happen to go with someone who supports your recovery 110% then straight up agree that if you need to leave then you leave with no questions asked (my RAH and I do this and have since we were dating.)
Search yourself and make sure you are in a good place (spiritually fit for the AA crowd) and then go if you are. Stay home if you have misgivings.
Be very careful when it comes time to eat as some people go nuts with alcohol when cooking and don't tell people. Desserts are prime examples. I got hold of a chocolate covered pecan at an office party of all places. It never occurred to me that the darn thing was SOAKED in rum or something. Thank God I was back at my desk so people didn't see me spitting it out and gargling with diet coke LOL!
Once you have your beverage keep it in your hands at all times. If you have to set it down and walk away for something then just get a new (safe) one. People just carelessly leave their drinks around and it is very easy to confuse them. You may end up with a mouthful of something unexpected if you are not careful.
I hope these help.
Kellye
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
