Dating and Sobriety
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by cuyootoo 
I never really dated. So I can't help you there. I think if you can find somebody that you like and that likes you too, if you click, then it doesn't really matter if you are in your first year of sobriety or not. I think AA tells people not to date in their first year of sobriety because a lot of guys go to AA meeting to pick up on women, a n d people can be particularly vulnerable during their first year of sobriety. I personally know 2 guys who go to meetings just to pick up on women, so I am not bs-ing you about this.
There are sleazy people everywhere, the decision to date has nothing to do with them, but with me. Am I able to be a partner in a healthy relationship?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 163
Sorry, EricL, I missed that. Yes, I agree with you. It's important to draw a distinction between what AA traditions are and what people in AA talk about. Thanks for pointing out that there are good and bad people everywhere. I am not sure I even know what a healthy relationship is. I don't think I have ever been in one in my whole entire life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Relationships and dating are like pouring Miracle Grow on your character defects. I describe early recovery as being in 24/day PMS in a full moon. I suggest holding off for at least six months.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
I have been around AA over 30 years, and although your right its not in the Big Book it is a very large concern because of the % of newcomers that relapse over relationships in their first year. I can't tell you how many people I have seen come into AA, fall in lust, oh sorry I meant to say love
and then that person becomes their HP, and bam they get loaded.
Just cause it isn't in the book doesn't mean it doesn't happen! This is the 20th century and the book was written, well I guess it depends on which edition, but the original addition was 1939 so you do the math.
Some old timers say that many people relapse over finances and romances. I tend to agree with them.
Lastly I was pretty sick in my first few years and so the type of men I was attracted to then are nothing like the ones I now am attracted to at 71/2 years.
But if you are like me I didn't listen to anyone I had to test the waters for myself. I just had to remember I earned my seat the hard way, and their is no one in this world worth giving my seat up for, even if they are hot.
and then that person becomes their HP, and bam they get loaded.Just cause it isn't in the book doesn't mean it doesn't happen! This is the 20th century and the book was written, well I guess it depends on which edition, but the original addition was 1939 so you do the math.
Some old timers say that many people relapse over finances and romances. I tend to agree with them.
Lastly I was pretty sick in my first few years and so the type of men I was attracted to then are nothing like the ones I now am attracted to at 71/2 years.
But if you are like me I didn't listen to anyone I had to test the waters for myself. I just had to remember I earned my seat the hard way, and their is no one in this world worth giving my seat up for, even if they are hot.
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