rusty4444

Hi everyone, I work as as a releif worker for people on their days off and one lady I work for causes me massive anxiety! She is the most negative peson I have ever been around. I am now 131 days sober and tend to avoid people like this but right now I have no choice! Just looking for positive ways to deal with work related pressure caused by others. I know that I was having problems with P.A.W.s for awhile but that seems to get worse when I have to deal with her. Trying my best not to be resentful but it's hard to do.

Thanks for letting me get that of my shoulders.

Rusty

wow04

I have the same issue with the negativity. I am eight years sober and I still don't like to be around negative people.
What I have been doing is everytime my co workers say something negative, I say something positive. It has really cut back on the negativity in my office.

Mark75

Yea, what wow says... Along the same lines... in AA there is the idea of praying for a person who has that effect on us... truly praying for her, wishing her the best. My own experience with this is that I begin to "see" and understand, these people are fellow travelers in life, with all the challenges, disappointments, hopes and dreams that I have. They become just other human beings, like me, and that I can relate to.

I didn't say it was easy.... LOL. It takes practice.

switchboard

I also do what Wow does ... Counter the negative with a positive .. I can't stand negativity, and we have "one of those" in our office too. With her, everything's always wrong, bad, sad, hard, whatever. Seriously, nothing is ever OK. Someone could come in and give her flowers, and she'd find a way to put a negative spin on it. I just want to slap her - lol.

aasharon90

In all my little jobs which I enjoyed
for myself and helping others, there
was always someone trying to steal
my joy causing me discomfort.

As much as I tried to treat fellow
coworkers the way Id want to be
treated, they still seem to stab me
in the back with their own unhappiness.

Im 50 and decided to hang it up with
working because it's just not worth it
to me and my recovery to have others
try to bring me down or destroy what
Ive worked so hard to get to in my sobriety.

I would often wonder if these people
were jealous of me just because I am
happy. Maybe they want or wish what
I have and just dont understand my
happiness or where it comes from.

Who knows.

I know its wrong to take anothers
inventory because we truely dont
know what goes on in their minds
or lives. All I can do is take care of
me.

Recovery, Sobriety is to be enjoyed
and for so long I was miserable until
i learned to be honest in all my affairs.

It was suggested to pray for those
people that disturb us praying for
everything we'd want for ourselves....
happiness, health and prosperity,
then place them in our HP's hands
because there is nothing more we
can do for these people, then let it
go.

Easier said than done as I know all to
well. Still I did it, and if it worked great
and if not, well its not in my hands any
longer.

I can't change people places and things
to suit me only to accept them and move
on in my program doing what Ive been
called to do. To help the next person who
still is suffering with addiction.

That is my purpose in life and recovery
which is truely rewarding. Priceless.

DrivenHeart85

I sooooo have had that problem too. Fortunately mine is on maternity leave until late February but we have to share an office so every time she "vents" as she calls it (more like declaring her hatred for everything and everyone and swearing every time she gets an email), I have to be her therapist....for 40 flipping hours a week. Ridiculous. lol

Kellye C

I was taught this as well by my sponsor and she showed it to me in the Big Book in the back with the stories. Lucky me, it didn't take long until the first "candidate" for this test came along. There was this old man who seemed to love to **** people off in meetings. I don't know what his motive was (or if he even had one) when he started going at me in at meeting. He embarrassed me and that made me mad as a hornet. I doubt I would have spit on him had he been on fire at the moment but he was an oldtimer who many thought the world of. Test subject #1.

I honestly thought I would not be able to get it out the first time I prayed for him. God knows I didn't mean it but my sponsor told me to do it anyway for 30 days.

So I did and by the time a week was up I could sense something different. Two weeks I could tolerate this person enough to meet their eyes and acknowledge their existence LOL. By the end of that month I had gotten over the resentment and could initiate a hello or something brief and just sort of mentally shake my head when I caught them being themselves LOL. I never resented him again and he died from cancer the following year. He apparently knew what my sponsor was making me do because he made a couple of remarks to her outside of my presence. I credit Vern for teaching me a very important lesson in my recovery.

I learned that the prayers didn't necessarily change that person but it changed my perspective on the situation and ultimately, that is what matters.

Sounds strange but I can vouch for the efficacy of it so perhaps give it a try. You certainly have nothing to lose. Other than that maybe douse them with holy water every chance you get or do something nice for them without their knowledge and don't tell anyone about it. Once again that works on YOUR outlook on the situation.

Happy Friday,
Kellye