Am I an Alcoholic?
Baby Girl D
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: x..Manchester, England..x
Posts: 592
I think you need to think what your doin when you've had a drink I know its easierr said than done coz you come a complete diff person... Like you I can't handle my drink and I don't drink every night but when I have a drink I binge and somehow manage to cause trouble or someone says somethin wrong and I flip ... But never have a smacked a cop or even been arrested :o
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 5
It's really amazing how damaging it can be..
I hold a 3.5 gpa and have had the same job for nearly 2 years and just bought a condo with my fiance and will be getting married soon. Yet every 4-5 months a new incident arrises. It's amazing how much different I become. I really am a great person with a great personality, charming etc. I have confidence and love life. But this seems to drag me down. It's rather tragic. But I will not let the movie end tragically.
I hold a 3.5 gpa and have had the same job for nearly 2 years and just bought a condo with my fiance and will be getting married soon. Yet every 4-5 months a new incident arrises. It's amazing how much different I become. I really am a great person with a great personality, charming etc. I have confidence and love life. But this seems to drag me down. It's rather tragic. But I will not let the movie end tragically.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,902
You can do it, aj. It's all up to you. You seem to have a great attitude about it, so keep doing the next right thing and use SR for support. If you find you need a little more support, there are several programs out there, along with individual counseling.
To borrow a phrase from Angelina...We DO recover!
To borrow a phrase from Angelina...We DO recover!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
Maybe the answer doesn't matter. What matters is that you acknowledge that alcohol causes you to do things you would never normally do. And the possibility that if you continue, just one incident like the ones you've already experienced could cause your entire life to unravel. You've been really really fortunate so far, so why test fate?
Alcohol is everywhere. And I agree that bars are pretty boring without it unless there's something else going on at the bar. If you are going to continue hitting bars with your fiance and you really feel you can do so without drinking, how about only going to the ones that have live music, pool tables, darts, good food to eat, etc. Something to focus on, and also setting a time limit before you go? Frankly, drunks are really boring and anyone that finds you boring because you don't have a drink in your own hand has their own issues.
Alcohol is everywhere. And I agree that bars are pretty boring without it unless there's something else going on at the bar. If you are going to continue hitting bars with your fiance and you really feel you can do so without drinking, how about only going to the ones that have live music, pool tables, darts, good food to eat, etc. Something to focus on, and also setting a time limit before you go? Frankly, drunks are really boring and anyone that finds you boring because you don't have a drink in your own hand has their own issues.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
When I first learnt about my alcoholic issues, the first 2 weeks I thought!!
I thought I can now go to the bar and drink orange juice, and karaoke.
I tried to do it and it was not the same.
Quiet drunks soon were coming up to me , telling me all their problems and it was peewee talk, slurping and carrying on. I was seeing myself, when I drank, and I no longer wanted that.
I observed the bar and noticed there are "classes" of drinkers while I drinking orange juice. It was boring, really boring.
The music no longer had that "appeal".
This is early sobriety, remember that.
I no longer went back to the bars, just for the sake of it, after all it was habit, I knew nothing else after 35 years of doing the same ol same ol.
However, I became more interested in recovery. For me it's AA and I don't challenge or debate how others do their recovery, it's what works for me and what will work for you.
The cliche, "don't pick up the first drink", now I know why.
Today is a different story if I go to the bar, in fact I don't go to the bar to order alcohol, I go to order a meal with new friends and restoring relationships with old friends and family. New friends don't drink, old friends, some of them don't know the new sober person I am today and some family can breath a sigh of relief, and I heard one family member say, "he's back, the Pete we thought we lost is back".
The last time I been to a bar for a meal was about 6 months ago.
I felt like I just wanted to finish my meal and get the heck out of there. It was beginning to feel yuk. The food was nice, but I was not enjoying the occasion.
As soon as that start to happen, it's time to go.
The same thing happened at a family funeral, there were drinks after the ceremony, I was offered a drink by a cuz and I simply replied with, "not today".
There is no need to explain myself every time I get offered a drink just because they think I still may have a few "quiet drinks". There is no "quiet drink", it's all or nothing.
This will take time to adjust, but once most of the fog lifts, you, well I at least simply do not want to go back and I keep a distance from others who have drinking issues.
I thought I can now go to the bar and drink orange juice, and karaoke.
I tried to do it and it was not the same.
Quiet drunks soon were coming up to me , telling me all their problems and it was peewee talk, slurping and carrying on. I was seeing myself, when I drank, and I no longer wanted that.
I observed the bar and noticed there are "classes" of drinkers while I drinking orange juice. It was boring, really boring.
The music no longer had that "appeal".
This is early sobriety, remember that.
I no longer went back to the bars, just for the sake of it, after all it was habit, I knew nothing else after 35 years of doing the same ol same ol.
However, I became more interested in recovery. For me it's AA and I don't challenge or debate how others do their recovery, it's what works for me and what will work for you.
The cliche, "don't pick up the first drink", now I know why.
Today is a different story if I go to the bar, in fact I don't go to the bar to order alcohol, I go to order a meal with new friends and restoring relationships with old friends and family. New friends don't drink, old friends, some of them don't know the new sober person I am today and some family can breath a sigh of relief, and I heard one family member say, "he's back, the Pete we thought we lost is back".
The last time I been to a bar for a meal was about 6 months ago.
I felt like I just wanted to finish my meal and get the heck out of there. It was beginning to feel yuk. The food was nice, but I was not enjoying the occasion.
As soon as that start to happen, it's time to go.
The same thing happened at a family funeral, there were drinks after the ceremony, I was offered a drink by a cuz and I simply replied with, "not today".
There is no need to explain myself every time I get offered a drink just because they think I still may have a few "quiet drinks". There is no "quiet drink", it's all or nothing.
This will take time to adjust, but once most of the fog lifts, you, well I at least simply do not want to go back and I keep a distance from others who have drinking issues.
Gone In
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by aj2586 
It's really amazing how damaging it can be..
I hold a 3.5 gpa and have had the same job for nearly 2 years and just bought a condo with my fiance and will be getting married soon. Yet every 4-5 months a new incident arrises. It's amazing how much different I become. I really am a great person with a great personality, charming etc. I have confidence and love life. But this seems to drag me down. It's rather tragic. But I will not let the movie end tragically.
I hold a 3.5 gpa and have had the same job for nearly 2 years and just bought a condo with my fiance and will be getting married soon. Yet every 4-5 months a new incident arrises. It's amazing how much different I become. I really am a great person with a great personality, charming etc. I have confidence and love life. But this seems to drag me down. It's rather tragic. But I will not let the movie end tragically.
I pulled out of my own personal nose dive just in time. My judgement was so affected by alcohol I used to BASE jump drunk off of local objects. But I managed to keep my life, my health, my career; I kept my home, and saved my marriage. I am fortunate to have stopped before I threw away everything I worked so hard to get.
Quit now before it's too late, and live the good life, not one filled with loss and regret.
What's your plan?
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
I know that in my case staying sober and NOT being bored was only possible once I changed my point of view from "I'm being deprived of something fun" to "wow, this is so much better".
Alan Carr has a good book on how to quit drinking that talks about this approach---you can google it.
I also spent a lot of time at SR and read the threads at the top of the page especially "Quitting...what to expect...how we did it".
I hadn't gone as far done the road as some people, but I already knew I didn't like where I was.
Am I an alcoholic? Probably. But the name doesn't matter, since I'm much better off not drinking again. And I don't feel deprived, I actually have more fun.
P.s. I didn't quit for good the first time I tried. I think that was what convinced me I had a real problem. I tried to cut back, then taper. And the obsession and need to drink was all-consuming. Now that I don't drink at all it is such a relief! Infinitely easier.
Alan Carr has a good book on how to quit drinking that talks about this approach---you can google it.
I also spent a lot of time at SR and read the threads at the top of the page especially "Quitting...what to expect...how we did it".
I hadn't gone as far done the road as some people, but I already knew I didn't like where I was.
Am I an alcoholic? Probably. But the name doesn't matter, since I'm much better off not drinking again. And I don't feel deprived, I actually have more fun.
P.s. I didn't quit for good the first time I tried. I think that was what convinced me I had a real problem. I tried to cut back, then taper. And the obsession and need to drink was all-consuming. Now that I don't drink at all it is such a relief! Infinitely easier.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 7
I'm sure people who have absolutely no problem with alcohol at all can share similar stories as the ones you mentioned, albeit maybe not as many. Your stories reflect a lot of college binge drinkers.
You are clearly smart and functional. You are educated and probably have a bright future ahead of you. you were able to maintain a relationship long enough to where you got engaged, so it seems like you can maintain relationships with people. If you think that alcohol is the only thing that causes drama in your life and causes you to act out, maybe you should give it up even if you aren't technically an alcoholic. Or, try only drinking in moderation. Of course, if you can't drink without over drinking, then maybe you shouldn't at all. Its entirely dependent on how you feel.
I know you are looking for answers and that fact in it of itself is a good sign. I think you will be fine...all you need to do is figure out a way t avoid situations like the ones you described in your original post.
You are clearly smart and functional. You are educated and probably have a bright future ahead of you. you were able to maintain a relationship long enough to where you got engaged, so it seems like you can maintain relationships with people. If you think that alcohol is the only thing that causes drama in your life and causes you to act out, maybe you should give it up even if you aren't technically an alcoholic. Or, try only drinking in moderation. Of course, if you can't drink without over drinking, then maybe you shouldn't at all. Its entirely dependent on how you feel.
I know you are looking for answers and that fact in it of itself is a good sign. I think you will be fine...all you need to do is figure out a way t avoid situations like the ones you described in your original post.
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