Partner opening up more after sobriety - anyone else have this?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 482
Partner opening up more after sobriety - anyone else have this?
Hi folks, 5 weeks tomorrow for me.
In the last week my partner of almost 5 years has, for the first time ever, started telling me he's unhappy at work and hates his job. We had a great talk about it a few nights back, and spoke about alternatives and got some good plans in place for a career change etc. I went and saw him at work a couple days after and he said "I hate my job" then this morning he said "I'm feeling really stressed".
He's never talked like this before, and I'm wondering if it's because either he has and I wasn't listening, or might it be because he's finally not got me as his biggest stress factor. I dunno if I'm being self centred or paranoid :/
Anyone else have this? I'm not sure how to respond to it, other than be there for him. I know when I complain about stress and work I do it so I can vent and so I can hear "It's all going to be OK", but I don't know if that's what guys want too.
For the blokes - complaining about work - what are you after? I want to support him without accidentally adding to his stress by saying the wrong thing, or by trying to fix things when all he wants is to vent, or in contrast, just letting him vent and not helping to fix things when that's what he wants.
It's not a huge deal, not a really big "OMG" moment for us, I'm just worried he's a little depressed.
He's spoken about taking a couple weeks off to recharge his batteries and I'm 100% behind that. He's going to take a trip overseas to do hiking and climbing and all that other stuff that I can't do cause I'm too unfit, so I hope that helps him feel better and also shows that I'm with him on this.
In the last week my partner of almost 5 years has, for the first time ever, started telling me he's unhappy at work and hates his job. We had a great talk about it a few nights back, and spoke about alternatives and got some good plans in place for a career change etc. I went and saw him at work a couple days after and he said "I hate my job" then this morning he said "I'm feeling really stressed".
He's never talked like this before, and I'm wondering if it's because either he has and I wasn't listening, or might it be because he's finally not got me as his biggest stress factor. I dunno if I'm being self centred or paranoid :/
Anyone else have this? I'm not sure how to respond to it, other than be there for him. I know when I complain about stress and work I do it so I can vent and so I can hear "It's all going to be OK", but I don't know if that's what guys want too.
For the blokes - complaining about work - what are you after? I want to support him without accidentally adding to his stress by saying the wrong thing, or by trying to fix things when all he wants is to vent, or in contrast, just letting him vent and not helping to fix things when that's what he wants.
It's not a huge deal, not a really big "OMG" moment for us, I'm just worried he's a little depressed.
He's spoken about taking a couple weeks off to recharge his batteries and I'm 100% behind that. He's going to take a trip overseas to do hiking and climbing and all that other stuff that I can't do cause I'm too unfit, so I hope that helps him feel better and also shows that I'm with him on this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm not sure of the reasons behind it FD but I can't think of too many situations where more communication is a bad thing 
As for what to do...I dunno - you know him better than we do lol....
sometimes people, and blokes in particular, just want to be listened to I think...and if you listen, you'll probably soon get an idea of what, if anything, he wants from you
D
As for what to do...I dunno - you know him better than we do lol....
sometimes people, and blokes in particular, just want to be listened to I think...and if you listen, you'll probably soon get an idea of what, if anything, he wants from you
D
One day at a time...
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 20
Personally I hate it when people try to fix me. Sometimes you just need to vent, and sitting in your room talking to a wall makes you question your sanity. And/or throw your tent in the car and just disappear into the wilderness for a week. Or month.
I try not to give advice unless asked for, because I know I never take it unless I asked for it. And sometimes even if I did ask for it, it'll still irritate me.
I try not to give advice unless asked for, because I know I never take it unless I asked for it. And sometimes even if I did ask for it, it'll still irritate me.
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