loveon2legs

Hi friends...
As most of you have read, on my birthday I drank...with nearly 2 years sobriety....Although I have moved on from the experience, I think it is crucial to experience the lessons behind it.....I haven't drank since..and the thought of it literally makes me sick...I suffered physically from the effects for 9 days afterwards...my body was poisioned...I know I can't go back to what I was like before, if anything it was a real wake up call....and a realization of what I had put my body through all those decades of drinking! I also know how easy it would be to "just have one drink a day" to slip into that "innocent" pattern...only to wake up with another decade...GONE......I know how important it really is to take care of yourself....not to get too hungry, lonely, tired,angry or STRESSED....that was my downfall... I let "ME" slide...I let it happen..by not taking care of myself...and letting my emotions get the better of me... I let my guard down...wasn't meditating...made excuses....I can't Stress how important it is to make yourself a priority...our lives depend on it....and I took it for granted...I got lazy...tired of being an alcoholic...tired of surrending..etc....I just wanted to be "normal" well it's not in the cards...and I know that I have to deal with the cards I am dealt....and that means no booze..no stimulants etc....I need to live authentic..and it's really the best way to be! regardless of what I am "labelled" as..... So friends..I hope all of you stay real...be true to yourself..and take care of YOU....I hope with all my heart this,.... for all of you!!

MsJax

Thank you for that. Back in 2006 I started drinking again, for 4.5 years I was on a bender from hell~and it all started with what you described. Complacency coupled with not caring for me. Congratulations on your sobriety

Kellye C

LO2L, thank you for sharing your experience. I'm so glad you made it back. You have apparently done a lot of thinking and soul searching on this and you have some great self-realization going there. One can hope that what you shared will help others, even if it is one person, from picking up the poison known as alcohol again. Even if that doesn't happen there is one very important person who seemingly is paying attention and that is YOU.

Keep it up one day at a time, hour or minute at a time, whatever it takes.

Hugs,
Kellye

Piotr

Thank you for sharing.

Had a bad weekend but reading SR and going to two AA meetings helped me realise that drinking is definetly not the way out. It only can lead to more severe problems.

zxcirce

Thank you for this. I'm glad to see you examine and move forward instead of dwelling on the negative. Yes the relapse happened. Yes it sucked. And now you're out of the fire and able to lean from it.

I also relapsed after a few years, and looking back it was triggered by a feeling of drifting in life, having no goals, feeling useless, and also forgetting that i am not NORMAL either...and living my life like a "normal" person and forgetting to treat myself as a recovering alcoholic who needs to do the work daily to keep myself on a positive forward path.

You had some good insight about yourself and your relapse. I wish you continued success

TheEnd

Sobriety is a journey not a destination and you drifted off the path, but you found your way back and now you're even stronger in your resolve. That's probably the most important thing.

recoverywfaith

Loveon2legs,

How beautifully said and so very very true. Thank you so much for sharing and I am glad you are back and not lost out there in your addiction.

loveon2legs

good point zx...I need to remember that I am a recovering alcoholic....and before the relapse I think I was forgetting that...thought I had "won" the battle..but like my friend End said..it's a journey...not a destination!

TheTinMan

Thanks for sharing. At least you know what triggered it, and you righted the ship and didn't, like you said, waste another decade drinking.

Good luck to you. Stay strong!

bmwcycle

Thanks for the insight and sharing your feelings.

I have to ask and please do not take this the wrong way

"Are you better off now that you are recommitted to not drinking?" or another way of asking would be "Do you feel stronger in your commitment to not drinking because you did drink and it wasn't a pleasant experience?"

Not that I am looking for an excuse to drink, never really had an issue with that, just trying to understand the alcoholic brain..

Once again thanks for your insight and good luck.

Anna

Yes, and I think it's important to not look at it as a battle which we win or lose, because both of those options can set us up for failure. Recovery is an amazing journey and I am grateful to be on this journey and trying to learn and do the best I can every day.

Good for you for getting back on track.

AWOL

Thank you LO2L... you eloquently summed up the essence of our responsibility to ourselves. CARE is an anagram for Conscious Attention to Recovery.

Zebra1275

Glad you are back and have analyzed and learned from your relapse.