Where oh where is my bottom??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 49
Where oh where is my bottom??
Hello everyone! For those who remember me- I am back. Only this time, wiser, more mature, and have a much stricter probation.
To sum it all up over my lifespan on Sober Recovery...
1. I passed out peeing and my "wife found me"
2. I join this board in search of support, go to my first AA meeting
3. I go back to drinking and justify my 2 years of drinking as a "habit"
4. Wreck my car into an RTA bus in a total blackout
5. I am having marriage problems
6. "Serious" about quitting, stopped drinking
Since then- let me update you on my life as an alcoholic who didnt learn.
7. Two months sober and my wife cheats on me openly
8. Begin drinking again thinking this time it will be different.
9. Divorce
10. Meet a new girl and am honest about my alcoh, get married with her knowing im an alcoholic
11. She is 110% supportive toward my recovery and my occasional slips, which my addiction exploits
12. Drink for a year
13. Wreck another car, on the run from the cops, hide face down in a river for 3 hours in a spotty blackout thinking to myself "I had four drinks too many", and I shouldn't have guzzled that extra booze.
14. Jail - almost losing my wife, step-daughter, and job
15. 3 year reporting probation
16. 4 AA meetings a week, have sponsor, working step 4
17. two months sober and relapse.
.
Somehow I feel that people are going to feel that this sexy celory stick, isnt so sexy.
Its crazy to think in the AA meetings I attend- people talk about being "dry drunk" for 2 years for not doing the AA program. Hell, I would love to be dry drunk for two years. At least that means I would be making some sort of progress.
I highlighted where I once thought was my bottom. Now looking back on it I can only wish that is where it really ended.
I do want to thank Sober Recovery to a great extent. I am on step four of my 12 step- and I remember things with my ex-wife a lot differently than what I posted here. This tells me I have warped my memories to meet my standards. *smacks head* I cant tell you how important it is to know this.
Hello again, SR.
To sum it all up over my lifespan on Sober Recovery...
1. I passed out peeing and my "wife found me"
2. I join this board in search of support, go to my first AA meeting
3. I go back to drinking and justify my 2 years of drinking as a "habit"
4. Wreck my car into an RTA bus in a total blackout
5. I am having marriage problems
6. "Serious" about quitting, stopped drinking
Since then- let me update you on my life as an alcoholic who didnt learn.
7. Two months sober and my wife cheats on me openly
8. Begin drinking again thinking this time it will be different.
9. Divorce
10. Meet a new girl and am honest about my alcoh, get married with her knowing im an alcoholic
11. She is 110% supportive toward my recovery and my occasional slips, which my addiction exploits
12. Drink for a year
13. Wreck another car, on the run from the cops, hide face down in a river for 3 hours in a spotty blackout thinking to myself "I had four drinks too many", and I shouldn't have guzzled that extra booze.
14. Jail - almost losing my wife, step-daughter, and job
15. 3 year reporting probation
16. 4 AA meetings a week, have sponsor, working step 4
17. two months sober and relapse.
.
Somehow I feel that people are going to feel that this sexy celory stick, isnt so sexy.
Its crazy to think in the AA meetings I attend- people talk about being "dry drunk" for 2 years for not doing the AA program. Hell, I would love to be dry drunk for two years. At least that means I would be making some sort of progress.
I highlighted where I once thought was my bottom. Now looking back on it I can only wish that is where it really ended.
I do want to thank Sober Recovery to a great extent. I am on step four of my 12 step- and I remember things with my ex-wife a lot differently than what I posted here. This tells me I have warped my memories to meet my standards. *smacks head* I cant tell you how important it is to know this.
Hello again, SR.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hi and welcome back! I remember you.
As to where is your bottom?? Your bottom is wherever you choose to stop digging. You've gone pretty far down but you are alive, breathing and still have your mental capacity. Surrender and win my friend and get the hell out of that elevator.
Hugs,
Kellye
As to where is your bottom?? Your bottom is wherever you choose to stop digging. You've gone pretty far down but you are alive, breathing and still have your mental capacity. Surrender and win my friend and get the hell out of that elevator.
Hugs,
Kellye
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Call before you drink, if you don't want to drink.
It's not especially complicated, and in a way that displays whether or not you understand the 1st step.
It appears you still think there is something good left for you in a drink. Looking at what that illusion is might help.
It's not especially complicated, and in a way that displays whether or not you understand the 1st step.
It appears you still think there is something good left for you in a drink. Looking at what that illusion is might help.
Poison Eater Extraordinaire
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 1,031
lol, I thought this was a post about someone losing a lot of weight due to not drinking!
This is precisely why I have never gotten hung up on the term "hitting bottom" in recovery. It can always get worse. What matters is if you really want to stop drinking more than you want to continue drinking.
This is precisely why I have never gotten hung up on the term "hitting bottom" in recovery. It can always get worse. What matters is if you really want to stop drinking more than you want to continue drinking.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,949
Welcome back SCS.
The consequences of 'hitting my bottom' didn't seem to detour me from drinking again. They did however eventually bring into sharp focus that I needed to quit drinking.
Good see you have a recovery action plan. That's what helps me too.
The consequences of 'hitting my bottom' didn't seem to detour me from drinking again. They did however eventually bring into sharp focus that I needed to quit drinking.
Good see you have a recovery action plan. That's what helps me too.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Sexycelerystick: Apparently you have only tried 12 step programs so far. Perhaps it would be helpful to you to approach your recovery from a different angle. For example, you could try SMART Recovery:
SMART Recovery® | Self Help for Addiction & Alcohol Abuse
Also, there's a very good discussion going on in the Secular Connections forum about AVRT, which strikes me as an extremely straightforward approach.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
SMART Recovery® | Self Help for Addiction & Alcohol Abuse
Also, there's a very good discussion going on in the Secular Connections forum about AVRT, which strikes me as an extremely straightforward approach.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 49
Well I know where my bottom will be if I keep drinking, and that is dead. Wrecking two cars not involving others, and being able to walk away is just short of a miracle.
Looking into SMART, I notice that they do not offer any of those in my area :-\
Looking into SMART, I notice that they do not offer any of those in my area :-\
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,937
It may be heretical for a big book thumper like me to disagree with Bill W. but on this point I do disagree. I do not believe in bottoms unless you are talking about the bottom of a grave. The motivation to make a change had to come from inside me, not from some new external disaster of my own making.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Welcome back!
You can decide where your bottom is, and you don't need to go down any further than you are now.
You are right to be grateful that you are still alive. Can you accept that the life you have right here today is a gift? I hope that you can make it this time.
You can decide where your bottom is, and you don't need to go down any further than you are now.
You are right to be grateful that you are still alive. Can you accept that the life you have right here today is a gift? I hope that you can make it this time.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,905
I believe that YOUR bottom is wherever YOU decide it is. Many of us got into legal troubles with alcohol, but that wasn't necessarily our bottom. It was two years after I went through the DUI process that I reached MY bottom, and it wasn't some catastrophic event that told me it was my bottom. It was the realization that I had had ENOUGH! I was sitting at home at my computer when I realized it. I wasn't in any trouble, but I was drinking. At that very moment, I said ENOUGH, and called a detox center and checked myself in that night. I didn't care if I lost my job (I didn't), it was my LIFE I was thinking of.
Bottoms can come in many ways, but, IMHO, it's when you KNOW in your heart of hearts that you are DONE, that you will do whatever it takes to make the necessary changes.
Bottoms can come in many ways, but, IMHO, it's when you KNOW in your heart of hearts that you are DONE, that you will do whatever it takes to make the necessary changes.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by SexyCeloryStick 
Well I know where my bottom will be if I keep drinking, and that is dead. Wrecking two cars not involving others, and being able to walk away is just short of a miracle.
Looking into SMART, I notice that they do not offer any of those in my area :-\
Looking into SMART, I notice that they do not offer any of those in my area :-\
And...we'd really love to have you over at the Secular Connections forum.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 84
I have...
Crashed two cars whilst drunk(luckily only hurting myself)
Woke up in the police station twice with no memory of getting there(two minor assault charges)
Been so drunk i have wet myself
Insulted my parents/ sister
Apparently threatened my (ex)girlfriend
Been sectioned as i was found in a field in my socks knee deep in icy water thinking i was an android(psychotic episode brought on by withdrawl)
Missed many days at work
Slashed my arms
Those are just a few and i have still not hit bottom, to be honest i think i'll hit bottom when i'm lying in the mortuary. I know drink is killing me but i still drink.
Crashed two cars whilst drunk(luckily only hurting myself)
Woke up in the police station twice with no memory of getting there(two minor assault charges)
Been so drunk i have wet myself
Insulted my parents/ sister
Apparently threatened my (ex)girlfriend
Been sectioned as i was found in a field in my socks knee deep in icy water thinking i was an android(psychotic episode brought on by withdrawl)
Missed many days at work
Slashed my arms
Those are just a few and i have still not hit bottom, to be honest i think i'll hit bottom when i'm lying in the mortuary. I know drink is killing me but i still drink.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I hope, like me, that you're luckier than that Nineteen67.
I really believe our bottom is when we stop digging that hole for ourselves...
it really is about deciding not to live our old life one more second and learning to make different decisions and choices backing that up, I think
what kind of support do you have?
D
I really believe our bottom is when we stop digging that hole for ourselves...
it really is about deciding not to live our old life one more second and learning to make different decisions and choices backing that up, I think
what kind of support do you have?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 4
13. Wreck another car, on the run from the cops, hide face down in a river for 3 hours in a spotty blackout thinking to myself "I had four drinks too many", and I shouldn't have guzzled that extra booze.
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