heavy drinker forum
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 3
heavy drinker forum
hi everyone. i was looking for a heavy drinker forum, and this site was one of the top google search results. having looked around for a few mins, i can tell that this forum is more aimed at people who want to stop drinking. can anyone recommend a section of this site, or perhaps another forum, which is more aimed at people like me, heavy drinkers who have accepted that they can't get along without alcohol, but at the same time want to take the harm reduction route, and stay high functioning.
thanks for the help.
thanks for the help.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Hi bike. You will not find a section of this forum here. And i am sorry to say, i do not know of another site that would be what you are seeking.
I wish you well in your journey to control your heavy drinking. You may wish to stay here as well, and read some of the posts. See where you can relate.
I wish you well in your journey to control your heavy drinking. You may wish to stay here as well, and read some of the posts. See where you can relate.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Bike
I never worked out how to stay high functioning or how to cut back in a foolproof way - it's near impossible when alcohol is controlling you IMO.
If you can't give it up, how can you hope to control it?
I think Moderation Management has a forum - you might find them more akin to what you're looking for....I think they push a 30 day no drinking regime tho....there's also a harm reduction group called HAMS (The HAMS Harm Reduction Network).
I don't have links but both should be readily available on Google
best of luck
D
I never worked out how to stay high functioning or how to cut back in a foolproof way - it's near impossible when alcohol is controlling you IMO.
If you can't give it up, how can you hope to control it?
I think Moderation Management has a forum - you might find them more akin to what you're looking for....I think they push a 30 day no drinking regime tho....there's also a harm reduction group called HAMS (The HAMS Harm Reduction Network).
I don't have links but both should be readily available on Google
best of luck
D
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 456
Originally Posted by bike 
heavy drinkers who have accepted that they can't get along without alcohol, but at the same time want to take the harm reduction route, and stay high functioning.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Many of us on here WERE more than just heavy drinkers but now do not touch a drop because we value our lives.
I can tell you where my heavy drinking of 24 years got me ................................. in an ER with a DR writing the TOD on my chart. My heart started back up on its own after being down for 28 minutes the last time.
So ................................ stick around and read, hopefully you will see where your 'heavy drinking' is leading and decide to change your life style.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
I can tell you where my heavy drinking of 24 years got me ................................. in an ER with a DR writing the TOD on my chart. My heart started back up on its own after being down for 28 minutes the last time.
So ................................ stick around and read, hopefully you will see where your 'heavy drinking' is leading and decide to change your life style.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Hi Bike, you may want to take a look at the ***** discussion group for Harm Reduction. It attracts those who feel that getting blackout drunk 19 times a month instead of 20 is a cause for celebration. Be prepared to read some scary and tragic stuff.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
Of course there is such a thing as a heavy drinker, and it is distinctive from being alcoholic. While some heavy drinkers progress into alcoholism, others don't.
This is the best description I've ever encountered for it:
HARD DRINKER:
My first thought was, if you can do it on your own, why would you need a forum? But, as it's described, he may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally; he might even die a few years before his time; he may find it difficult and troublesome; and he may even need medical attention. So, although they may be very able to stop or moderate on their own, why wouldn't they want a support board (whether SR wants to participate in that or not)?
Since alcoholism is progressive, it is worth considering that a number of those that still have control over their drinking will lose it, finding themselves to be alcoholic. Also, since alcoholism is ripe with delusion (it will tell us that we are like other people), it's also likely that many will hope to classify themselves as hard drinkers when they are actually alcoholic. The great obsession of every abnormal drinker is the idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking. Many of us go insane or die trying.
*BB quotes 1st Ed.
This is the best description I've ever encountered for it:
HARD DRINKER:
Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason—ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor—becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.
My first thought was, if you can do it on your own, why would you need a forum? But, as it's described, he may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally; he might even die a few years before his time; he may find it difficult and troublesome; and he may even need medical attention. So, although they may be very able to stop or moderate on their own, why wouldn't they want a support board (whether SR wants to participate in that or not)?
Since alcoholism is progressive, it is worth considering that a number of those that still have control over their drinking will lose it, finding themselves to be alcoholic. Also, since alcoholism is ripe with delusion (it will tell us that we are like other people), it's also likely that many will hope to classify themselves as hard drinkers when they are actually alcoholic. The great obsession of every abnormal drinker is the idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking. Many of us go insane or die trying.
*BB quotes 1st Ed.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
Heavy drinkers find themselves in detox units and rehabs side by side with alcoholics, they find themselves here on SR side by side with real alcoholics, they even find themselves in the rooms of AA and the like side by side with real alcoholics, usually from what I can see because so many people still don't understand what alcoholism actually is.
I happen to believe the importance of qualification is significant, for I believe I must know what I am, or am not, so that the treatment actually fits the condition.
I believe SR's purpose is support for abstinence, and the owners of the site can make it anything they want it to be.
However, considering the idea presented, I admit I could see benefits from a hard drinkers board. Alcoholics could continue to help those who know or suspect themselves to be alcoholic; hard drinkers could help those who know or suspect themselves to be hard drinkers; and those alcoholics who still believe themselves to be in the hard drinking category will find, through their own struggles, if they are lucky, the true nature of their condition (although that kind of happens anyway...).
I happen to believe the importance of qualification is significant, for I believe I must know what I am, or am not, so that the treatment actually fits the condition.
I believe SR's purpose is support for abstinence, and the owners of the site can make it anything they want it to be.
However, considering the idea presented, I admit I could see benefits from a hard drinkers board. Alcoholics could continue to help those who know or suspect themselves to be alcoholic; hard drinkers could help those who know or suspect themselves to be hard drinkers; and those alcoholics who still believe themselves to be in the hard drinking category will find, through their own struggles, if they are lucky, the true nature of their condition (although that kind of happens anyway...).
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
For myself, I find that the following is a very concise and appropriate description for me, and I know am alcoholic:
I wish you luck, no matter what you are. If there's anything I could to to help, it would be a pleasure.
P.S. From what you wrote, "can't get along without alcohol" is a red flag for me. Also, I didn't want to stop drinking, I had to stop drinking. It just took me a whole lot of pain, confusion and destruction to get there.
*BB quotes 1st Ed.
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
P.S. From what you wrote, "can't get along without alcohol" is a red flag for me. Also, I didn't want to stop drinking, I had to stop drinking. It just took me a whole lot of pain, confusion and destruction to get there.
*BB quotes 1st Ed.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
Originally Posted by bike
which is more aimed at people like me, heavy drinkers who have accepted that they can't get along without alcohol, but at the same time want to take the harm reduction route, and stay high functioning.
Best of luck to you though, whatever you do.
AoS
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Heavy drinkers who are high functioning.....sounds like an Oxymoron.
No matter if you still functioning or not, if you drink huge amounts of high alcohol, you will never reach your full potential of what could've been, had you not been drinking.
No matter if you still functioning or not, if you drink huge amounts of high alcohol, you will never reach your full potential of what could've been, had you not been drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by bike
can anyone recommend a section of this site, or perhaps another forum, which is more aimed at people like me,heavy drinkers who have accepted that they can't get along without alcohol, but at the same time want to take the harm reduction route, and stay high functioning.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 482
Moderation management, as was mentioned earlier, I think is what you're after. It starts with 30 days being sober - if you can't last the 30 days you probably need to step it up. From there I believe they have a system of regimenting how much you are meant to drink... I couldn't tell you, I didn't get past the 30 days part.
To be honest - go see your doctor, tell him/her how much you drink and what your plan is. If you are afraid to tell your doctor that might be a sign that this is something more than just social drinking.
Also, to be honest, you will get biased replies here because, let's face it - we ALL thought we could handle drinking. That's what alcoholics do... We justify the drinking, we deny the problem, some of us are very smart and very high functioning, I've seen people who earn 6 figure sums just as deeply in the clutches of alcohol as people who scrape by on minimum wage.
Good luck. If you feel you need to come back here you'll always be welcome. I'd like to hear that the moderation management works and that you realise that you don't need alcohol to get along. If not - I do hope you come back here.
To be honest - go see your doctor, tell him/her how much you drink and what your plan is. If you are afraid to tell your doctor that might be a sign that this is something more than just social drinking.
Also, to be honest, you will get biased replies here because, let's face it - we ALL thought we could handle drinking. That's what alcoholics do... We justify the drinking, we deny the problem, some of us are very smart and very high functioning, I've seen people who earn 6 figure sums just as deeply in the clutches of alcohol as people who scrape by on minimum wage.
Good luck. If you feel you need to come back here you'll always be welcome. I'd like to hear that the moderation management works and that you realise that you don't need alcohol to get along. If not - I do hope you come back here.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
I agree with Sugarbear. Search "stages of alcoholism" to get a sense of what the future holds.
I found this link to be particularly helpful:
Alcoholism Stages - Late Stages Of Alcoholism.
Saying you want to continue to be high functioning but continue to drink is like saying you want to keep heading west without reaching the Pacific Ocean.
Good luck to you.
I found this link to be particularly helpful:
Alcoholism Stages - Late Stages Of Alcoholism.
Saying you want to continue to be high functioning but continue to drink is like saying you want to keep heading west without reaching the Pacific Ocean.
Good luck to you.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NS, Canada
Posts: 160
I was a "high functioning heavy drinker" ... and I can promise you that the "high functioning" part of any alcoholic's view of themselves is (a) an illusion due perhaps in part to denial and perhaps in part to ego, or maybe fear of admitting otherwise ... and (b) temporary in any case.
Your functioning (however high you think it currently is) will eventually disappear... I imagine it already has begun, and you just don't see it (or maybe you do, and that's what brought you here).
There is no harm reduction, unless you see your doctor for tests and opinions, and then cut down or quit. Otherwise, the harm is occurring, both mental and physical, and will continue to do so. Sorry to sound so negative here.
You have found a great forum here.. full of people who understand ... If you would you like to talk a little more about it, please do ... You will find lots of great advice, support and acceptance.
Your functioning (however high you think it currently is) will eventually disappear... I imagine it already has begun, and you just don't see it (or maybe you do, and that's what brought you here).
There is no harm reduction, unless you see your doctor for tests and opinions, and then cut down or quit. Otherwise, the harm is occurring, both mental and physical, and will continue to do so. Sorry to sound so negative here.
You have found a great forum here.. full of people who understand ... If you would you like to talk a little more about it, please do ... You will find lots of great advice, support and acceptance.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
MY two older brothers -- now deceased -- could have written your post. They were both bound and determined to keep drinking and keep 'high functioning'.
They died of alcoholic cirrhosis at ages 53 and 56. Their illnesses and deaths were miserable and tortuous for everyone especially themselves. They had lost their wives, their children and all contact, their jobs (in one case; in the other, the termination was about to happen when the illness became terminal), their joy of life, their own selves.
I got the job of clearing up the house after the older of them, as I was his executor (estate settler). I got to see the way he had redesigned an essentially invalid house: toilet seat for someone who can't quite sit down properly, hand holds installed for someone who can't stand up stably, medications for leg sores, butt sores, etc.; places to vomit in the bedroom.
It was a worse death than any dog should die.
My younger older brother died in a pool of strange liquid he had excreted when his liver and kidneys both failed. A professional cleaning squad had to be called for that death scene.
I miss them both every day. They had so much more to offer.
I really hope you reconsider your commitment to a lifetime of heavy drinking and a lonely early death. Best wishes and I apologize for the dankness of this post. It is a sore subject.
They died of alcoholic cirrhosis at ages 53 and 56. Their illnesses and deaths were miserable and tortuous for everyone especially themselves. They had lost their wives, their children and all contact, their jobs (in one case; in the other, the termination was about to happen when the illness became terminal), their joy of life, their own selves.
I got the job of clearing up the house after the older of them, as I was his executor (estate settler). I got to see the way he had redesigned an essentially invalid house: toilet seat for someone who can't quite sit down properly, hand holds installed for someone who can't stand up stably, medications for leg sores, butt sores, etc.; places to vomit in the bedroom.
It was a worse death than any dog should die.
My younger older brother died in a pool of strange liquid he had excreted when his liver and kidneys both failed. A professional cleaning squad had to be called for that death scene.
I miss them both every day. They had so much more to offer.
I really hope you reconsider your commitment to a lifetime of heavy drinking and a lonely early death. Best wishes and I apologize for the dankness of this post. It is a sore subject.
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