milwaukeeguy85

Havent been on here in forever.... but I suppose times like this are the times I need to vent, and hopefully talk to some people who have been here.

I am sitting at my computer and started drinking. Haven't been to the liquor store in God knows how long, i forgot how cheap it is to get drunk.

I have had a few casual drinks at the bar since last time I was on here, may have even got drunk once but it was all ok in my mind. My life has been coming together nicely, a huge new job promotion opportunity, playing music with a new band, and just all in all fulfilling things.

Then it happened...... I met a girl about a month ago like none I have ever met. Both come from scarred pasts, very simlar, understand each other, so different yet so the same. Great chemistry, mutual attraction, and frankly I honestly thought there was potential for her to be my soulmate. Everything is going well..... I make a stupid mysoginist comment in the morning and poof i all dissapears. A lot of time (relatively) together gone in less than 5 seconds.... no chance at forgiveness... nothing. The old feeling came back, that feeling where I couldn't help but go to the store...buy some booze and slam enough of it fast enough early enough so I can wake up for work at 7 am. I can't stand this ******* feeling where my head spins, time stops, it consumes me, and booze is the only thing that dulls it for me. Then i erupt and damage my reputation even more. Never violence just emotionally. Its like the world stops in my mind, and drinking is all that is still there, it never fails to get me drunk, it never fails to make me forget at least for a couple hours where it comes back like a big rig semi and smacks me upside the head. I hate being like this. I hate the fact that I think worrying about not puking tomorrow will be a more fullfilling activity than this. I would call my friends but they just don't understand, they will say I am crazy, I am whining, and maybe I am a little bit... but seriously today is the day where I feel I have no other choice. A program will make me want to punch everyone in the room, I dont care about any of it right now and I just needed to get this off my chest.

Probably a bit melodramatic but o well, it is so hard for me to care when **** like this happens.

Dee74

welcome back milwaukeeguy

I think you have to ask yourself man - if one ill-considered comment could break this relationship, how viable was it for the long term?

As for drinking over it - you don't deserve the punishment, milwaukee.

Reaching out here is a great start - but don't be afraid to get that real life support too.

Just don't try and punch anyone tho - there's always someone bigger than you

D

Sudz No More

I agree with Dee, let it roll off you man. It's not worth it. If you really care about this girl, keep trying to get in touch with her. If she really cares about you she will reciprocate.

If not, move onward and upward. Don't bring yourself down into the alcoholic abyss, you'll look alot better to her walking tall than falling on your arse.

Zebra1275

I don't know what you said, but if one comment killed the relationship it must have been one hell of a comment, or not much of a relationship.

Thereunconfined

Well, some things are "deal breakers" in relationships... and for most women I know, misogyny would be one of them. Any comment of that nature would make me run, no question.

Maybe it's best to focus on your reaction to the situation.

sissy07

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. However I agree that if one comment is a dealbreaker, then I don't know if I would pursue this any further. Although I have said some things, not meaning to hurt the person, and was interpreted way at out of proportion by the person I was talking to. How long have you been with this girl? Maybe the relationship isn't all you hoped it would be....I know I almost married a guy one time, feeling it was my solemate, then midway between the relationship, I decided it wasn't what I wanted. He was so sensitive and unable to try to understand that I don't always say the perfect thing. I am not eluding that you forget her, etc., But maybe she needs some time-faciltate a converation with her by sendng heartfelt message from you. I don't know enough to give any more advise tht I already have, but sometimes it takes a long time to know a person, and if she snapped like that, I am not sure that she is such a good catch. I hope this didn't make you drink....that would make things worse, as it is a spring board to making it difficult to rationally handle the situation. I am no success story, but just thinking out loud. Take care and good luck. Please let us know how it goes.

LifeBlows

I am so sorry for your distress but you know sobriety (particularly in the beginning) requires lots of TLC. Emotions in early sobriety can feel overwhelming and can be particularly volatile. That is part of the reason why experts recommend that you refrain from intimate relationships in the first year of sobriety. Its okay to be alone until you have a better handle on your drinking.

keepstrong

Well, you win some you lose some. If I can offer anything from my own experiences, its that some people will run, others will pay it no mind, some will leave, but come back around and look at the good in you, and with enough time, those who ran screaming and yelling may understand where you were coming from years later, and appreciate you even more.

Its all relative to personal experiences and what you offered to the person, and how much you clicked.

I know a few years ago a girl wanted me to go to church with her and I cursed off the whole idea. She left without a thought. That same night I spoke to an ex about it and she had bad experiences as I did, thought the girl was a dummy, and she made some jokes and made me feel better.

I guess what I'm saying is try not to punish yourself too much!

instant

Sounds like you had been drinking before all of this happened, and were content with that.