I drank my way into the hospital the other night.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
Well I cut my arms up really bad, and drank some more. Somehow convinced myself NOT to walk into traffic as I had planned, but had a friend take me to the hospital with SI and they Baker acted me. Here's the funny part-- when I was NOT suicidal, they kept me there 2 1/2 WEEKS, wanted to keep me longer, but I finally won my third appeal. This time, I TOLD them I was suicidal, and they released me after a day and a half! No clue why, they wouldn't tell me anything. I saw the doctor the day before, and she said she "wasn't going to bother with me", next thing I know, I'm getting released! Go figure. So I'm going to try to figure something out. I tried to get into rehab but my insurance won't cover it and I can't afford it. I am currently looking to get into a residential mental health facility which includes lodging and help finding a job, with on-site therapists and such.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,949
I know in the county I live in has funds for those that qualify to pay for a bed/treatment at a treatment facility. In fact my treatment, a total of 5 months was paid for by the county.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by Onewithwings 
Well I cut my arms up really bad, and drank some more. Somehow convinced myself NOT to walk into traffic as I had planned, but had a friend take me to the hospital with SI and they Baker acted me. Here's the funny part-- when I was NOT suicidal, they kept me there 2 1/2 WEEKS, wanted to keep me longer, but I finally won my third appeal. This time, I TOLD them I was suicidal, and they released me after a day and a half! No clue why, they wouldn't tell me anything. I saw the doctor the day before, and she said she "wasn't going to bother with me", next thing I know, I'm getting released! Go figure. So I'm going to try to figure something out. I tried to get into rehab but my insurance won't cover it and I can't afford it. I am currently looking to get into a residential mental health facility which includes lodging and help finding a job, with on-site therapists and such.
sometimes you just gotta keep screaming until someone listens. and not by cutting. commit yourself daily if you have to. get baker acted again if that's what it takes. just don't give up.
you are way too important to this world to stop trying.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
The doctor at the hospital where I was baker acted says she doesn't want to deal with me. I have dropped probably 3 pants sizes in the last month, not sure how much I weigh but my eating disorder is getting out of hand. I can't stay where I'm staying much longer. I can't quit cutting. I haven't drank at all because they don't keep alcohol in the house and I don't know how to get anywhere in this neighborhood, I feel trapped. My friend's mom is really stressed and I can feel that she doesn't want me here but I have nowhere else to go and that makes me more depressed. I have eaten and thrown up all their food. I am getting angry because the sharpest thing in the house is a pair of scissors that doesn't cut worth a ****. I feel so needy because I freak out when my friend goes to work or school, this makes me feel even more horrible about myself. I am depressed and suicidal and I don't know what to do about it. My friend is trying his best to help but he can only do so much. I am looking at going to a treatment facility in California in 2 weeks if my parents can help me pay for the trip. I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 2 weeks, though, I have already lost I don't know how much weight and think about killing myself every day. The cuts on my body are in layers. All I want to do is get obliterated and forget it all but I can't even do that, I can't even sleep when I want to because my body won't let me. I have no idea where to turn.
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
Sweetie, I think you should maybe go to the ER and tell them everything you said here. Maybe somebody there will be able to help you. Another option is to get in touch with someone on the suicide hotline and tell them exactly what's going on.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
Onewithwings - Get to the hospital as quick as possible, or call 911 and tell them you're suicidal. The treatment facility cannot wait, you're in desperate need of help and from what you're posting, you need it immediately.
Life is too precious to be doing this to yourself.
Life is too precious to be doing this to yourself.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
I agree maybe the ER is an option One.
There are also lots of crisis lines in these links - they may be able to give you some good advice?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
take care of yourself One - I'm sorry that people have been unhelpful, but don't let that stop you trying - reach out and get some help.
D
There are also lots of crisis lines in these links - they may be able to give you some good advice?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
take care of yourself One - I'm sorry that people have been unhelpful, but don't let that stop you trying - reach out and get some help.
D
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