Sick of it...........
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: hull
Posts: 34
Sick of it...........
Hi all. Yet again I find myself at day 1 of recovery. This is my 4th day 1 of the week.
I am 38 years old, started drinking at the age of 16 and had hardly one sober day until I was 36. I stopped drinking by going to AA and doing the 12 steps.
I stopped going to AA after about 20 months because I picked up another obsession (social online gaming) which quickly started to dominate my every waking moment. After about 9 or 10 months of ignoring my spiritual needs (no program or meetings) I picked up a drink..........just one time I said to myself.......... seems I forgot (or chose to ignore) everything I had learned about the nature of alcoholism. What happened next is pretty much described in the BB of AA. Needless to say that "just one time" turned into "I can't stop drinking."
It's back to the rooms of AA for me and this time nothing will come between me and the program.
Why do I find it so difficult to use the word God now?
I am 38 years old, started drinking at the age of 16 and had hardly one sober day until I was 36. I stopped drinking by going to AA and doing the 12 steps.
I stopped going to AA after about 20 months because I picked up another obsession (social online gaming) which quickly started to dominate my every waking moment. After about 9 or 10 months of ignoring my spiritual needs (no program or meetings) I picked up a drink..........just one time I said to myself.......... seems I forgot (or chose to ignore) everything I had learned about the nature of alcoholism. What happened next is pretty much described in the BB of AA. Needless to say that "just one time" turned into "I can't stop drinking."
It's back to the rooms of AA for me and this time nothing will come between me and the program.
Why do I find it so difficult to use the word God now?
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 482
WoW? The crack-cocain of online gaming?
I'm sorry if feels like you're starting again, but remember - those 20 months haven't gone down the toilet, they weren't wasted. You're starting a "Day 1" of sobriety, but you already have heaps of strength and resolve waiting just under the surface. I am not familiar with AA, but you're obviously very aware of your triggers and why you started again. I hope this helps you to return to the natural state of sobriety.
Also, if you are still participating in MMORPGs you might find that they are actually AA guilds and what-not. Depending on your game though, I'm only familiar with WoW. No good if the gaming is dominating your life though... I once went on holiday and took my computer with me so I didn't miss a raid ><
I'm sorry if feels like you're starting again, but remember - those 20 months haven't gone down the toilet, they weren't wasted. You're starting a "Day 1" of sobriety, but you already have heaps of strength and resolve waiting just under the surface. I am not familiar with AA, but you're obviously very aware of your triggers and why you started again. I hope this helps you to return to the natural state of sobriety.
Also, if you are still participating in MMORPGs you might find that they are actually AA guilds and what-not. Depending on your game though, I'm only familiar with WoW. No good if the gaming is dominating your life though... I once went on holiday and took my computer with me so I didn't miss a raid ><
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 129
Hi Paraffin! Try not to feel bad and remember that all that time that you stayed sober still counts. As far as I'm concerned, every and any day that I don't drink counts for something. I'm also on day 1 again, slipped up last nite, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to let it deter me from moving forward. Do whatever you think you need to, to get back in the game. You can do it, it's already been proven :-)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 455
Welcome to you, Paraffin!
No idea about why you can't say God. Are you religious? Maybe you are ashamed, who knows? It should not stop you from staying sober through AA and whatever God/Spirit/Higher Power you believe in.
Positive thoughts to you!
No idea about why you can't say God. Are you religious? Maybe you are ashamed, who knows? It should not stop you from staying sober through AA and whatever God/Spirit/Higher Power you believe in.
Positive thoughts to you!
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