dybehfar

I am at 16 days sober and have been exercising and eating healthy since I quit. Today I am having a really rough time. The old Lizard brain in me is screaming at me to drink at every turn. having a good day...drink to celebrate....having a bad day drink to get through it. Working in the yard...a beer makes it more enjoyable...etc, etc.

I recognize what it is, and I know what to do in the higher part of my brain...but holy crap, I need this part of my brain to shut up! I tried exercising, but I feel so exhausted that I couldn't keep that up for more than 30 minutes.

Feeling very weak today. I know the consequences and I know what to do....but please provide any advice or feedback on getting through this.

Ughh.

PaperDolls

Ugh, I feel for you! Congrats on 16 days sober.

I find helping another person in need sort of gets me out of myself and I stop thinking about myself so much. Do something nice for someone who could use the help.

dybehfar

Thanks PaperDolls. I agree about helping people if I could. Right now I a bit manic. can't focus, feel overwhelemed with work items, and household items. I know it is 95% in my head. It's like my brain is moving in a very fast tight circle. Very hyper feelings inside though controlling it on the outside. No physical symptoms, just a very overactive brain. Very strange. This is new to me.

PaperDolls

How about going to an AA meeting?

bellakeller

Can you take a nap? Or otherwise take a break of some sort?

Frustriert

God I know that feeling.

Doing something for someone else is no joke. One night at home I just started cleaning, doing my wifes laundry, anything. Just so I was doing something for someone else. It made me feel good about myself and helped calm me.

dybehfar

PaperDolls...I am not an AA guy. I have tried it and it wasn't for me. I have been using other techniques like rational recovery. Though the social group aspect I feel is quite effective. Especially for me.

Bella...I think that is what is needed a break away from the current situation.

Has anyone noticed that a messy environment contributes to these feelings. My office is an absolute mess. (though I know where everything is...lol). I think this may be contributing to the noise in my head and giving a general feeling of unrest.

Just really racing along....in my head.

dybehfar

I misunderstood the helping others. Physical stuff I can do. Mental/emotional...not so much. I will try and help out my wife with some tasks.

CarolD

I don't have any expereince with what RR is teaching you about how to cope
I also don't know the term lizard brain..

I suggest you go to the Secular Connection Forum and take a read around.

Prayers coming your way for clairty and peace...;

flyawayfromhere

Ever read the book Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey? I wouldn't mention it normally but you're mentioning part of the "lizard brain" and that it's urging you to drink for practically any excuse it can come up with. There are some great instructions to help you dissociate from your "lizard voice" in the book I mentioned.

Or there's AA too...to each his own.

dybehfar

I have not read the book. I have read lots of outtakes and various websites. I will see if I can buy that book digitally and start reding it asap.

flyawayfromhere

If Terminally Unique pops up around here, he can help you with more info on AVRT too.

Dee74

This technique was useful for me as a coping strategy - I hope it might be for you too

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

In the longer term tho I think you'd benefit from support, whatever kind appeals to you.
Noone does this alone, in my opinion

D

dybehfar

Awesome. Thanks Dee.

ForeverDecember

I know the feeling! I think we all do, actually.

My last urge to drink to celebrate my sobriety (how silly that sounds) I solved by coming to the SR forums and reading, posting, and drinking my soda water. Eventually the time passed and it was late enough to go to bed. I woke up with a clear head, and another day sober.
Another time I think I just wallowed in self pity and lay on the couch watching reality TV shows on the lifestyle channel. It got me through though

I don't know if it's an AA thing specifically, but one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Those terms help me. While watching Wifeswap and Dragon's Lair, and Lord knows what else I would think "one more show that I'm sober at the end of. One more show that I'm sober...".

Good luck, sounds like you're doing fantastic though

dybehfar

Thank you to everyone. A new day has dawned and all is right again.

I was able to shake off the craziness yesterday. I like the urge surfing. It helped me to ask myself questions and really be introspective. In my mind I would think why am I feeling this way, is it real, imagined, can it be changed etc. You have to sit quietly and let everything just come, acknowledge them and move on.

I was able to make it out to my kids after school sports which would not happen very often while drinking.

Later last night I was looking at Facebook and thinking way back in the past about things I have done, the people I have known and the relationships that I had with those people (some have passed away...some due to drugs and alcohol). I can't explain the feelings I was having, but depression, sadness, regret, and a general sense of depression set in. Sitting there and just letting the thoughts go and not fighting them and questioning why I was feeeling that way and what could I do if anything to change it. It was actually very enlightening. I was able to glean what I already new at a surface level, I am a selfish person and have mostly approached things with the attitude of what can I get out of this person, situation, etc. But this was a discovery on a deeper level. I was able to collect a lot of dots.

I was able to go to bed and get a good nights sleep. In the past I would have probably just drank and been oblivious to anything past present or future.

SR is a very powerful site for insight, inspiration, encouragement, and sharing. For that I am truely thankful.

kanamit

Terminally Unique will explain it much better than I can but the key is to never, enter into a debate with your Addictive Voice (AV). The fact it's kicking up such a fuss means you have forced it into a corner and on the defenceless, so good for you!

I hope this isn't against forum regs to mention this but have you read the Rational Recovery: The New Cure book? Jack Trimpey calls this The Addicto-Depressive Condition and he covers it in detail on pages 184–189. I won't outline it here as it may constitute medical advice but it's definitely worth a read if you can get the book. He discusses suicidal feelings and presents a good case study to prove his arguments.

If you have the time you might want to read Parts I and II of the AVRT threads in the Secular Connections forum. I picked up so much useful help in applying AVRT there.

SteppingItUp

What's a lizard brain?

dybehfar

Just your base brain. The one that keeps you breathing and responsible for your instincts. Some call it the Beast. I have called it the Lizard brain. The one that millions of years ago drove us to do what we had to do to survive. Primal instincts. The thing that makes us eat, breathe and reproduce drives us into seeking that which we think makes us feel good. It has no rational component and just keeps wanting the alcohol in ever increasing amounts so that it can stay in a pleasure zone.

It is also the one that drives me to drink when my rational higher brain says that it is wrong and it will kill me.

CarolD

Glad you did stay sober...

Here is the link to the other forum several of us have mentioned
There is lots of RR info there ..

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I don't follow the lizard or beast concept.....but hope it works to your benefit...