Intro... 23 yrs old and starting out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Surrey, UK
Posts: 4
Intro... 23 yrs old and starting out
Hey All!
I have been reading this forum for a while... While I have been waiting for confirmation of my problem. I say reading, which I have been because I can see from my web history this comes up a lot of the time but just not really remembering! So some of the threads on this forum I must have read a dozen times!
Any ways I just wanted to introduce myself: I am 23 year old, white male, from the West Country living in Surrey in the UK. Not that any of that matters as of last Friday I had my suspicions confirmed that I am an Alcoholic. I have known in my heart for at least 3 years if not more that my drinking had slipped beyond a fun social activity to a requirement to function like a normal person. To be honest I can trace the beginnings back to 15 and have faced other substance abuse problems.
Last Friday I saw some one from Southern Addiction Advisory Service, nice lady who talked to me and didn't lecture! Really cool and very informative but the long of the short is yes I am dependant! She told me that if I feel physically really bad because of the quantity of alcohol I was consuming that I should have a drink at this point because to suddenly stop puts me at risk of a stroke! Quite scary stuff!!
So its going to be minimum of 3 weeks before I can start my treatment, which means 3 more weeks of drinking! I am soo tempted to stop and go cold turkey but I from past attempts I know this won't work as I will feel like I am having a heart attack (get to about 2pm, next day, and my heart feels like its going to explode) and I can't sleep so I know I need support with it but I want control of my brain back NOW! The black outs are scary as I wake up having done some pretty stupid stuff, which I don't remember the thought process behind!
I told my mum on Sunday which resulted in a kind of "well I already knew that" conversation and my dad just didn't know what to say to me... They told my sister, whom I love and adore that I was ill and she phoned me. Didn't really leave me much choice but to tell her... Kind of crushing experience to tell my sister that I had a problem with alcohol but did skip over some of the details as I didn't want her to worry! My best friend also had trouble comprehending the issue but he doesn't drink because he has a young child and to be honest it's a unfair to load this crap on to him as he has a family and they must take priority! At least that means I have some one to be sober with when I see him and the guys!!
Told my boss today, well I told her on Friday while off my face, but talked properly today and she has been absolutely amazing! I am not a big fan of being in the office and I have a nice project starting this Wednesday on a client site. Instead of stopping me going, as this project falls as part of a bigger project she has said to me to carry on and that any appointments we will work around! The only caveat is that if I am too inebriated that I should phone her and tell her I am sick but because I have managed to function this long without messing up (too badly!!! I have messed up but I am very good at covering). Considering this project is the thing that is keeping the company a float but she knows that removing me from it would dump me on my arse, I think that's about as understanding as you can get! If you ever come across this thread... big thanks V means the world!
Any way enough rambling, I do apologise but I just need to tell the world my mission statement... Yes I am an alcoholic, I have managed to keep a well paying job through it (well generally) but it is time to change... I need external support and I am a control freak so that is hard to suffer but I think this the thing that will save me as it is time to take back control! This is not a sob story this is the beginning of getting better!
I have been reading this forum for a while... While I have been waiting for confirmation of my problem. I say reading, which I have been because I can see from my web history this comes up a lot of the time but just not really remembering! So some of the threads on this forum I must have read a dozen times!
Any ways I just wanted to introduce myself: I am 23 year old, white male, from the West Country living in Surrey in the UK. Not that any of that matters as of last Friday I had my suspicions confirmed that I am an Alcoholic. I have known in my heart for at least 3 years if not more that my drinking had slipped beyond a fun social activity to a requirement to function like a normal person. To be honest I can trace the beginnings back to 15 and have faced other substance abuse problems.
Last Friday I saw some one from Southern Addiction Advisory Service, nice lady who talked to me and didn't lecture! Really cool and very informative but the long of the short is yes I am dependant! She told me that if I feel physically really bad because of the quantity of alcohol I was consuming that I should have a drink at this point because to suddenly stop puts me at risk of a stroke! Quite scary stuff!!
So its going to be minimum of 3 weeks before I can start my treatment, which means 3 more weeks of drinking! I am soo tempted to stop and go cold turkey but I from past attempts I know this won't work as I will feel like I am having a heart attack (get to about 2pm, next day, and my heart feels like its going to explode) and I can't sleep so I know I need support with it but I want control of my brain back NOW! The black outs are scary as I wake up having done some pretty stupid stuff, which I don't remember the thought process behind!
I told my mum on Sunday which resulted in a kind of "well I already knew that" conversation and my dad just didn't know what to say to me... They told my sister, whom I love and adore that I was ill and she phoned me. Didn't really leave me much choice but to tell her... Kind of crushing experience to tell my sister that I had a problem with alcohol but did skip over some of the details as I didn't want her to worry! My best friend also had trouble comprehending the issue but he doesn't drink because he has a young child and to be honest it's a unfair to load this crap on to him as he has a family and they must take priority! At least that means I have some one to be sober with when I see him and the guys!!
Told my boss today, well I told her on Friday while off my face, but talked properly today and she has been absolutely amazing! I am not a big fan of being in the office and I have a nice project starting this Wednesday on a client site. Instead of stopping me going, as this project falls as part of a bigger project she has said to me to carry on and that any appointments we will work around! The only caveat is that if I am too inebriated that I should phone her and tell her I am sick but because I have managed to function this long without messing up (too badly!!! I have messed up but I am very good at covering). Considering this project is the thing that is keeping the company a float but she knows that removing me from it would dump me on my arse, I think that's about as understanding as you can get! If you ever come across this thread... big thanks V means the world!
Any way enough rambling, I do apologise but I just need to tell the world my mission statement... Yes I am an alcoholic, I have managed to keep a well paying job through it (well generally) but it is time to change... I need external support and I am a control freak so that is hard to suffer but I think this the thing that will save me as it is time to take back control! This is not a sob story this is the beginning of getting better!
Just wanted to share the start of my journey,
GottaBeDone
Still dependant but first step taken!
Sorry to those my drinking has hurt and good luck to everyone who is undertaking a similar journey!
GottaBeDone
Still dependant but first step taken!
Sorry to those my drinking has hurt and good luck to everyone who is undertaking a similar journey!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Thanks for joining us..Welcome..
I'm glad you will be getting professional help....it's a wise move.
Here is an interesting link...pleasse take time to read it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
I'm glad you will be getting professional help....it's a wise move.
Here is an interesting link...pleasse take time to read it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: England, UK
Posts: 36
just a note of caution for you..
I'm 24 years old and also completed a home detox with my local alcohol services in the West midlands,, and they do require you to take a week off work when your treatment starts,, possibly for health and safety reasons cos you are given chlordiazepoxide to help with the withdrawals, and also the nurse that was leading my detox would also come and visit me twice a day to hand me the medication and check blood pressure/pulse etc.
I'm 24 years old and also completed a home detox with my local alcohol services in the West midlands,, and they do require you to take a week off work when your treatment starts,, possibly for health and safety reasons cos you are given chlordiazepoxide to help with the withdrawals, and also the nurse that was leading my detox would also come and visit me twice a day to hand me the medication and check blood pressure/pulse etc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Surrey, UK
Posts: 4
CarolD thank you for the heads up... That doesn't scare me as much as caring on the way I am does! But I do appreciate that not doing it properly will cause worse issues.
Hirsty: I need my work because it's my control(ish), it checks and balances me (sad I know but my friends are 3 hours away and it's always been the thing that focuses me) but if that is the case then I think the situation can be managed so at least that shouldn't be too much of a concern. As I say my boss was very supportive and just knowing I have a job keeps myself respect from hitting rock bottom!
The ironic thing is that I am involved with the NHS and so is most of my family!
Thank you all for the welcomes!
Hirsty: I need my work because it's my control(ish), it checks and balances me (sad I know but my friends are 3 hours away and it's always been the thing that focuses me) but if that is the case then I think the situation can be managed so at least that shouldn't be too much of a concern. As I say my boss was very supportive and just knowing I have a job keeps myself respect from hitting rock bottom!
The ironic thing is that I am involved with the NHS and so is most of my family!
Thank you all for the welcomes!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: England, UK
Posts: 36
Yeah to be fair you might not need the week off work.. This was my third GP assisted detox... The first two times i literally went to the GP, told them I was coming off alcohol and needed help with withdrawals,, the last two times they just handed me a script of chlordiazepoxide and made me come back the following week to check up.. which was bad of the doctors in my opinion,, i had previous of misusing diazepam,, and needless to say it wasnt a structured detox and i found myself just drinking beers on the tablets to catch a buzz and never really came off the drink at all..
third time round they referred me to the local alcohol team, who did a proper medical home detox with visits from the nurse daily,, and i can safely say that worked a treat (got straight into AA day 3 sober) and i can now boast that i have 29 days of sobriety under my belt now,, probably the longest stretch since i was about 16 years old :/
I hope all goes well for you.. look forward to seeing you around
third time round they referred me to the local alcohol team, who did a proper medical home detox with visits from the nurse daily,, and i can safely say that worked a treat (got straight into AA day 3 sober) and i can now boast that i have 29 days of sobriety under my belt now,, probably the longest stretch since i was about 16 years old :/
I hope all goes well for you.. look forward to seeing you around
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