loveon2legs

Went out for my 40 th birthday and ended up drinking....disappointed with myself..since I was almost 2 years sober.....I honestly don't ever want to repeat that again! I feel horrible...my stomach my entire body is poisoned! I really don't know how I drank before....I'm picking myself back up and continuing with sober living! Iam so over the drinking...lesson repeated...now learned! yuck!

langkah

No other real choice than to keep on trying. Hope you can make that your last drink.

You wrote about deciding to stop your medication 2 weeks ago...might that play a part in this?

least

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start moving forward again.




You'll never know how much strength I got from this post.

rws177

I have done the same thing before and defiantly know that feeling!


I'm glad you’re not continuing to drink and using this as a learning experience in order to move forward :-)

NewBeginning010

It was my birthday over the weekend too so firstly Happy B Day!

I knew from previous experience that I did not want to be at a bar or pub for my birthday. I made sure to keep it quiet & actually made sure that I made my birth date private of Facebook to not get too many requests to go out.

I went out with friends for dinner on Friday night & had a great time (nobody including me drank), its my B Day so I can choose a place that doesn't serve alcohol or friends that aren't hard party people.

On Saturday I got up early & went to play some tennis for a couple of hours & went out for another nice dinner later in the evening. Then got up early on Sunday & had a lazy morning & went out with my father & girlfriend for a dim sum lunch (many small Chinese dishes) and went for a walk along the ocean & then some more tennis (tennis is my new addiction ;-).

Waking up sober & being active made it one of the best birthdays ever, last year was also an amazing sober birthday.

Plan a sober birthday in advance next year with people & places that are conducive to a great sober weekend/day. You can do it, its worth it!

All of the best in your recovery.

Sincerely ~ NB

tomdecel

Sorry to hear this happened to you after nearly 2 years. We can not afford to let our guards down, even for a monumental BDs. Thank you posting this, we can all learn from it. Glad you chose to bounce right back into sobriety.

And thank you for this. My niece got engaged a couple of weeks ago. Knowing my sister, it will be a big blow out black tie affair in the East Coast. They just announced the date last night. She will be getting married ON my 60th Birthday next year. I better start planning right now.

Sudz No More

No Biggie, you've been doing great for so long. Just go back to the way you have been the last two years. You'll be fine, you certainly aren't the first one here to relapse. I have been there several times over the last year. I am trying my hardest to not rinse and repeat again. See you on the sober side.

TheEnd

So sorry to hear about your slip, you have been doing so good and have been an inspiration. If you don't mind me asking, what was the situation like that made you drink? I'm guess I'm just wondering what you were thinking when you drank or the circumstances surrounding it.

CarolD

I'm glad you will be re starting your sobriety..

Zebra1275

Sorry to hear about your slip. It's often said that alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It's also very patient and can zap you when you let your guard down. I speak from experience.

I had a long stretch of sobriety once and lost it. That's the main reason I no longer count the days, it's kind of depressing to be up in the thousands and have to go back to day one.

loveon2legs

Hi everyone thanks for your replies...
I think I could blame it on alot of different things....stress..tapering off meds....my birthday....when really it was just me...the human me......the human me who wants to have it all....the human me who went into denial for the night......I have a new perspective on recovery and what it is...what it means..and the pitfalls that can happen...it's not so much if you relapse (it is important)but if you do..it's really what you do about it afterwards....thats really truly matters... I plan on moving forward....and gathering up my strength and making the best out of the rest of my life!

NewBeginning010

Good for you loveon2legs ;-) You did an amazing job for two years & having conformation that you cant have just one on your birthday isn't necessarily a bad thing if taken & acted upon in the right way.

Now it will be a little easier to just let go of the idea of ever having a drink again & just focus on all of the other wonderful things that life has to offer... sober.

Thanks for your post, it took courage to share & I appreciate it. All of the best in your recovery.

Sincerely ~ NB

dingding

I'm 40 next month and my wife is taking me to rome for the weekend. I decided not to have a party. I can't wait. Your story will make me extra careful. Thank you.

AWOL

Belated Happy Birthday LO2L! We started out almost at the same time in February 2010 and I admired your spirit and determination. In fact, when I had that one pivotal drink that ruined 15 months of sobriety I probably felt a little like you do now. But it's a new day and a new life that begins now; and I look forward to sharing this journey with you of a clear mind and open skies.

SteppingItUp

Hi Loveon2legs,

Big hugs to you.

I am very sorry, but I am also very grateful you are not still drinking today. I don't think I could survive another drunk.

One of your recent threads came to mind:

"Remembering your last drunk......"

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ast-drunk.html

Remembering my last drunk absolutely failed me too, because I'm an alcoholic.

Have you come up with a solid formula for what you you going to do this time that will get you different results from the last time?

With love and compassion,

SIU

loveon2legs

I'm sure you posted this with good intentions...so I won't take it as a slap in the face...I am human..as we all are....my intentions were good..and they failed...I have picked myself back up..and I am moving forward...I posted that with intentions to help others as well...I have learned from this hopefully last drinking binge...I say hopefully as I know now that it can and does happen....I allowed myself to drink...I gave myself permission...as wrong as it sounds..I was tired, stressed, and just tired of always thinking of being an alcoholic......I have surrendered, but yet I still just wanted to drink on my birthday.... my lessons...I don't like booze...my body hates booze...and I'm done...with almost 2 years sobriety..I have alot of wisdom..with still much to learn...but enough to know better that I am not that drunk anymore......I will have this, as we all will for our entire lives this thing called alcoholism....I did not fail...I gave in.. and I will know better...as always I have grown from this.....

loveon2legs

I will avoid slippery places....and slippery people....I should have really known better..............

TheEnd

They say the goal is progress not perfection, but yet when we slip everyone seems to forget this little philosophy and looks at it as a failure. I think the fact that you spent almost 24 months sober is a wonderful thing, one day of drinking didn't ruin you, it only made you stronger in your determination.

I like that we celebrate our milestones and people feel proud of their sobriety time, but sometimes I feel like it sets us up for a big let down. Anyway, just thinking out loud.

Zencat

Me too. Being changed for the better from the experience of my last drunk is what matters to me. Fortunately that process happens in many ways.

Exactly! As long as I'm moving forward in my addiction treatments, my future is hopeful.

That's true for me too . Being in addiction treatment has positively changed me forever. Now when I have a setback, I take action to remedy the situation by getting back on track to a better life. The only failure is to quit recovery all together and return to killing myself off one drink at a time until I'm dead.

tomdecel

Not being critical of your post TE, but I can't do that. If I have "slip" tonight and have two drinks say a wedding reception, the following week I will a couple more and by the third week, and buying a 1.75 of vodka, by the fifth week, I'm drinking 3 or 4 of them.

To me it is a matter of "life or drunk". I don't expect a pilot on final approach or a hearth surgeon to have a "slip" on the operating table. I can't afford one either.

Hope you are feeling better loveon2legs.