Triggers
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
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Triggers
What are some of the things that trigger your crave to drink and how do you deal with them when they show up?
My biggest trigger by far is talking about good times or hearing good stories stories that took place when drinking. These situations push my willpower more than sitting next to someone having a drink or watching alcohol related commercials on TV or watching football with the guys where everyone is having a beer but me. I've gotten used to those situations but WOW those "remember when" stories that make you laugh and remember good times are so hard to deal with it kills me a little every time.
Before alcohol started to destroy me we've had some fun times together.
Usually a cup of coffee, I'm not sure why coffee helps but it does, or going for a long walk or run will take them away.
I just escaped a close call. So what triggers you and how do you deal with the urges? I need a diversion for a couple minutes.
My biggest trigger by far is talking about good times or hearing good stories stories that took place when drinking. These situations push my willpower more than sitting next to someone having a drink or watching alcohol related commercials on TV or watching football with the guys where everyone is having a beer but me. I've gotten used to those situations but WOW those "remember when" stories that make you laugh and remember good times are so hard to deal with it kills me a little every time.
Before alcohol started to destroy me we've had some fun times together.
Usually a cup of coffee, I'm not sure why coffee helps but it does, or going for a long walk or run will take them away.
I just escaped a close call. So what triggers you and how do you deal with the urges? I need a diversion for a couple minutes.
Poison Eater Extraordinaire
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 1,031
Very good question.
I try and look at the thoughts I have arising from triggers as thoughts separate from my true self. I think maybe this is also known as "externalizing" in psychology, but I got it from AVRT (Rational Recovery) and I recognize these thoughts as my addictive voice or "beast". I let the thoughts do their thing but I try and just observe them, instead of being one with those thoughts. Then I immediately "think the drink through" (which I got from AA), and think about what would really happen if I drank. I do this when I have pleasant triggers, as I call them, like when I want to drink at a party or when the weather is nice or I see people drink on TV.
My negative trigger is anger. Or in AA i guess they would say I get a case of the "f*ck its". For that, it seems like i have started using what I learned in SMART Recovery. I take a look at my irrational beliefs that surround the situation which made me intensely angry. Usually, what that irrational belief comes down to is "Life has to go my way and people have to act the way I want them to". When I challenge that belief and replace it with "Life doesn't have to be fair and people don't have to act any way in particular towards me and i have no right to expect anything else", I calm down. I see the bigger picture, the anger subsides and I stop feeling like flushing it all away because of x, y or z "activating event" (a SMART Recovery term).
So, I guess I use a few different things depending on what my trigger is.
I try and look at the thoughts I have arising from triggers as thoughts separate from my true self. I think maybe this is also known as "externalizing" in psychology, but I got it from AVRT (Rational Recovery) and I recognize these thoughts as my addictive voice or "beast". I let the thoughts do their thing but I try and just observe them, instead of being one with those thoughts. Then I immediately "think the drink through" (which I got from AA), and think about what would really happen if I drank. I do this when I have pleasant triggers, as I call them, like when I want to drink at a party or when the weather is nice or I see people drink on TV.
My negative trigger is anger. Or in AA i guess they would say I get a case of the "f*ck its". For that, it seems like i have started using what I learned in SMART Recovery. I take a look at my irrational beliefs that surround the situation which made me intensely angry. Usually, what that irrational belief comes down to is "Life has to go my way and people have to act the way I want them to". When I challenge that belief and replace it with "Life doesn't have to be fair and people don't have to act any way in particular towards me and i have no right to expect anything else", I calm down. I see the bigger picture, the anger subsides and I stop feeling like flushing it all away because of x, y or z "activating event" (a SMART Recovery term).
So, I guess I use a few different things depending on what my trigger is.
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by freethinking 
Very good question.
I try and look at the thoughts I have arising from triggers as thoughts separate from my true self. I think maybe this is also known as "externalizing" in psychology, but I got it from AVRT (Rational Recovery) and I recognize these thoughts as my addictive voice or "beast". I let the thoughts do their thing but I try and just observe them, instead of being one with those thoughts. Then I immediately "think the drink through" (which I got from AA), and think about what would really happen if I drank. I do this when I have pleasant triggers, as I call them, like when I want to drink at a party or when the weather is nice or I see people drink on TV.
My negative trigger is anger. Or in AA i guess they would say I get a case of the "f*ck its". For that, it seems like i have started using what I learned in SMART Recovery. I take a look at my irrational beliefs that surround the situation which made me intensely angry. Usually, what that irrational belief comes down to is "Life has to go my way and people have to act the way I want them to". When I challenge that belief and replace it with "Life doesn't have to be fair and people don't have to act any way in particular towards me and i have no right to expect anything else", I calm down. I see the bigger picture, the anger subsides and I stop feeling like flushing it all away because of x, y or z "activating event" (a SMART Recovery term).
So, I guess I use a few different things depending on what my trigger is.
I try and look at the thoughts I have arising from triggers as thoughts separate from my true self. I think maybe this is also known as "externalizing" in psychology, but I got it from AVRT (Rational Recovery) and I recognize these thoughts as my addictive voice or "beast". I let the thoughts do their thing but I try and just observe them, instead of being one with those thoughts. Then I immediately "think the drink through" (which I got from AA), and think about what would really happen if I drank. I do this when I have pleasant triggers, as I call them, like when I want to drink at a party or when the weather is nice or I see people drink on TV.
My negative trigger is anger. Or in AA i guess they would say I get a case of the "f*ck its". For that, it seems like i have started using what I learned in SMART Recovery. I take a look at my irrational beliefs that surround the situation which made me intensely angry. Usually, what that irrational belief comes down to is "Life has to go my way and people have to act the way I want them to". When I challenge that belief and replace it with "Life doesn't have to be fair and people don't have to act any way in particular towards me and i have no right to expect anything else", I calm down. I see the bigger picture, the anger subsides and I stop feeling like flushing it all away because of x, y or z "activating event" (a SMART Recovery term).
So, I guess I use a few different things depending on what my trigger is.
I also used to picture alcoholism as someone shaking until they got a drink but it's not like that for me in that aspect either. I don't really crave alcohol that it's something that I need. It's more of something that when I start I can't stop until 30 or so days pass and I'm laying in bed incapacitated with withdrawal and all the horrible dreams, sweats, isolation, guilt and everything else bad that happens. I just can't stop once I start until I hit the wall.
Stopped for a pizza after work today a local pizza shop where they serve alcohol and had no problems being surrounded by people drinking or alcohol but ran into some old friends and we started sharing drinking stories and they were all good times. But I'm the guy who doesn't stop until I destroy myself a little bit more.
I'm rambling, I know, just need to pass this one.
Thanks for the help and sharing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 445
Interesting... I'm only finishing up day 3 but already this evening I had a major trigger: feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I spent the whole day running from one thing to the next, both in work and at home. Normally I can calm myself by reminding myself of the bottle of wine waiting for me at the end of it all. Today I kept realising that, tonight, this wouldn't be happening and that fact just served to increase my stress 
I'm going to have to work out a replacement for that stress reliever.
Passing the alcohol section in the store is obviously a big one!
I know certain people in my life are also going to be huge triggers too as some of them go hand-in-hand with drinking. My sister would be one, which will be challenging. The hardest will be me partner, who also has a drink problem (in denial). He works nights a lot and hasn't been home in the evenings since I quit, but will be on Wednesday night
I noticed this evening that there are many everyday things that remind me of drinking and are therefore potential triggers. E.g. Drying my hair (believe it or not!), because the hairdryer drowns out the noise around me (specifically my abusive partner and my son, who I love, but has challenging behaviour=stress) and this was brief 'me' time, where I could really enjoy my wine. I'm sure I'll discover more as the days/weeks go by.
M
I'm going to have to work out a replacement for that stress reliever. Passing the alcohol section in the store is obviously a big one!
I know certain people in my life are also going to be huge triggers too as some of them go hand-in-hand with drinking. My sister would be one, which will be challenging. The hardest will be me partner, who also has a drink problem (in denial). He works nights a lot and hasn't been home in the evenings since I quit, but will be on Wednesday night
I noticed this evening that there are many everyday things that remind me of drinking and are therefore potential triggers. E.g. Drying my hair (believe it or not!), because the hairdryer drowns out the noise around me (specifically my abusive partner and my son, who I love, but has challenging behaviour=stress) and this was brief 'me' time, where I could really enjoy my wine. I'm sure I'll discover more as the days/weeks go by.
M
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 144
My trigger was everything and nothing. I never needed an excuse. I would just suddenly think "I want a beer" and darn it if I wasn't suddenly settled in with a six-pack (or more).
I never believed I had a problem so I never felt like I needed an "excuse". Part of the problem was that most of my friends drank lots more than I did (and all drank hard liquor ) so it was easy to make myself believe that my drinking was normal. But I am figuring out that the amount and the reasons don't matter. The amount I was drinking; the way that drinking affected my life and how I felt about myself was a problem for me. So I had to stop.
I never believed I had a problem so I never felt like I needed an "excuse". Part of the problem was that most of my friends drank lots more than I did (and all drank hard liquor ) so it was easy to make myself believe that my drinking was normal. But I am figuring out that the amount and the reasons don't matter. The amount I was drinking; the way that drinking affected my life and how I felt about myself was a problem for me. So I had to stop.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
I'm on Day 2 so I'm just finding my triggers as well.
1. For sure evenings and weekends - whether I had a bad or good day - I figured booze would make it better. Always felt that I deserved to kick back a few (or usually way too many).
2. Perceived boredom also makes for a good trigger - somehow I get myself thinking that life should be more than doing home things, taking care of the kids and pets, finishing extra work and doing laundry. Drinking has always seemed to "glamorize" the mundane.
3. Family/Money issues - nothing like an evening of drinking to get numb and forget about your troubles.
4. Watching people on TV and thinking about enjoying all kinds of special events without drinking. It always seems that everyone else can drink and handle it fine.
5. **One of my biggest** Quitting drinking for a couple of days and starting to feel better. That's when my head starts telling me that I'm really ok and can moderate. - Gotta keep an eye on this one later this week -
I'm sure there will be more. Hang in and stay strong - you can do it!
1. For sure evenings and weekends - whether I had a bad or good day - I figured booze would make it better. Always felt that I deserved to kick back a few (or usually way too many).
2. Perceived boredom also makes for a good trigger - somehow I get myself thinking that life should be more than doing home things, taking care of the kids and pets, finishing extra work and doing laundry. Drinking has always seemed to "glamorize" the mundane.
3. Family/Money issues - nothing like an evening of drinking to get numb and forget about your troubles.
4. Watching people on TV and thinking about enjoying all kinds of special events without drinking. It always seems that everyone else can drink and handle it fine.
5. **One of my biggest** Quitting drinking for a couple of days and starting to feel better. That's when my head starts telling me that I'm really ok and can moderate. - Gotta keep an eye on this one later this week -
I'm sure there will be more. Hang in and stay strong - you can do it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 445
Originally Posted by sadsoul2011
5. **One of my biggest** Quitting drinking for a couple of days and starting to feel better. That's when my head starts telling me that I'm really ok and can moderate. - Gotta keep an eye on this one later this week -
M
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Originally Posted by Miela
Forgot about this one! That's definitely a big one for me too. I think I will be on SR a lot when that one kicks in.
M
M
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 879
Hi Otter. I'm glad you posted this. I was thinking a lot about it today. I drank for every & no reason at all, but I am realizing now that I'm sober there are some things that cause me to automatically think of "the relief a drink" would bring. Talk about the addicts voice. I am not going to drink, but today I did think about it. The trigger today involved my dating life, ugh. As soon as the old insecurity, anxiety kicked in, in a big way, I thought of booze. Thankfully, I can identify that and move past, realizing what a horrific disaster that would be. Still had a weird day, but I'm safely home for the day. Cancelled my evening plans and am going to relax with my animals. Have some tea and chocolate chips and might take a cool dark walk once the sun sets. Read on here and rest.
So, I can see now a major trigger of mine is feeling wanted/insecurity. I have over 200 days sober and stuff still pops up now and then.
So, I can see now a major trigger of mine is feeling wanted/insecurity. I have over 200 days sober and stuff still pops up now and then.
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Miela
Forgot about this one! That's definitely a big one for me too. I think I will be on SR a lot when that one kicks in.
M
M
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 41
I'm close to a month sober and by far the most difficult trigger I face every work day is immediately after work until about 6 pm. I always would "let down" with wine or beer during that time, so now I'm trying to find other stress relievers.
The second biggest trigger: the many times I've tried to quit have always ended with the "I feel great now! I can have some wine here and there, no problem!" I'm facing that now, too. It's a lie would always fall for.
But, I am holding strong this time because imagining going to bed drunk, waking up at 2 am sweating and guilty, waking up at 5 am asking myself, "Why did I do that again?" is just not worth it. It feels SO GREAT to go to bed sober, to sleep great, and to wake up fresh and happy!
The second biggest trigger: the many times I've tried to quit have always ended with the "I feel great now! I can have some wine here and there, no problem!" I'm facing that now, too. It's a lie would always fall for.
But, I am holding strong this time because imagining going to bed drunk, waking up at 2 am sweating and guilty, waking up at 5 am asking myself, "Why did I do that again?" is just not worth it. It feels SO GREAT to go to bed sober, to sleep great, and to wake up fresh and happy!
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Posts: 275
Thanks for letting me blabber on, I just needed a safe place for a little while. Was literally shaking in anxiety trying not to return those phone calls and go out for drinks when I wrote that original post.
It's so damn tempting to just say "**** it" and set it aside for a day, wash your troubles away and relive old memories with old friends over beer and shots and I really do wish I could just that and stop it there but I know how it ends all too well from many tries and failures in the past.
Again, thank you for just giving me something to read and letting me blab.
I made it.
It's so damn tempting to just say "**** it" and set it aside for a day, wash your troubles away and relive old memories with old friends over beer and shots and I really do wish I could just that and stop it there but I know how it ends all too well from many tries and failures in the past.
Again, thank you for just giving me something to read and letting me blab.
I made it.
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Miela
Interesting... I'm only finishing up day 3 but already this evening I had a major trigger: feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I spent the whole day running from one thing to the next, both in work and at home. Normally I can calm myself by reminding myself of the bottle of wine waiting for me at the end of it all. Today I kept realising that, tonight, this wouldn't be happening and that fact just served to increase my stress I'm going to have to work out a replacement for that stress reliever.
Passing the alcohol section in the store is obviously a big one!
I know certain people in my life are also going to be huge triggers too as some of them go hand-in-hand with drinking. My sister would be one, which will be challenging. The hardest will be me partner, who also has a drink problem (in denial). He works nights a lot and hasn't been home in the evenings since I quit, but will be on Wednesday night
I noticed this evening that there are many everyday things that remind me of drinking and are therefore potential triggers. E.g. Drying my hair (believe it or not!), because the hairdryer drowns out the noise around me (specifically my abusive partner and my son, who I love, but has challenging behaviour=stress) and this was brief 'me' time, where I could really enjoy my wine. I'm sure I'll discover more as the days/weeks go by.
M
I'm going to have to work out a replacement for that stress reliever. Passing the alcohol section in the store is obviously a big one!
I know certain people in my life are also going to be huge triggers too as some of them go hand-in-hand with drinking. My sister would be one, which will be challenging. The hardest will be me partner, who also has a drink problem (in denial). He works nights a lot and hasn't been home in the evenings since I quit, but will be on Wednesday night
I noticed this evening that there are many everyday things that remind me of drinking and are therefore potential triggers. E.g. Drying my hair (believe it or not!), because the hairdryer drowns out the noise around me (specifically my abusive partner and my son, who I love, but has challenging behaviour=stress) and this was brief 'me' time, where I could really enjoy my wine. I'm sure I'll discover more as the days/weeks go by.
M
I had to get rid of an old baseball hat for similar reasons.
You're not alone.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
Just the other day I was thinking "Oh what a beautiful fall day! Sure would be nice to have some rum and cider!"
WTF? Why the hell is this absolutely gorgeous weather not enough and why the hell do I want to enjoy it in a fog?! I realized I don't. Cider itself is far more delicious without the rum anyway!
I was just so used to equating fall with rum and cider but that is just stupid!
WTF? Why the hell is this absolutely gorgeous weather not enough and why the hell do I want to enjoy it in a fog?! I realized I don't. Cider itself is far more delicious without the rum anyway!
I was just so used to equating fall with rum and cider but that is just stupid!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Riverside Ca
Posts: 117
Seems like everything has been a trigger lately but hindsight is 20/20 and the reality is that if I did not decide to drink for trigger #1 than I would just find another reason to drink.
LOL....A Bevmo commercial just came on as I was typing this...
LOL....A Bevmo commercial just came on as I was typing this...
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I drank to cure depression and anxiety but it only made them worse. I never needed a reason to drink, I drank out of boredom and frustration. Now that I'm happily sober for going on two years I rarely have triggers anymore. I lost the desire to drink around six months sober and it rarely bothers me anymore.
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