Stryfe

I quit drinking about a month ago. Before I quit heavily drinking, I was going on heavy benders where I would put away 15 or more drinks in a given night on the weekend. I have been very depressed because I can't find a job and this has fueled my binge drinking. I have been going to AA meetings every day for about a month after getting my 2nd DUI.

Today, I went to my buddy's house. I ended up having three beers over a few hours. Is that a relapse? I don't think so. I didn't get drunk and my goal has been to stop binge drinking. I was able to control myself and limit my drinking amount today. I do not plan on drinking again for a long time and I will continue going to AA meetings every day or every other day. Is what I did really bad or signs of a failure?

CarolD

Not a failure but it is not recovery either.

When I began working my aA Steps...I no longer returned to drinking
I shifted from shakey sobriety into solid recovery....

Please don't settle for anything less...it's simply not in your best interest.

Stryfe

You're right. I need to start working the steps and get a sponsor. I have heard stories in AA where people were still heavily binge drinking and still attending meetings before they got a sponsor and started working the steps. I need to stop being casual about by recovery and get serious. I was a little depressed today and only drank a couple beers with my friend because I was sad about my family/financial problems. I can't run to alcohol whenever there is a slight bump in the road anymore.

eJoshua

It sounds like Carol hit the nail on the head. I don't worry too much about labels, but it's hard to count something as a relapse if you haven't really recovered yet. I think the fact that you self identified that you drank because of the issues in your life was very intuitive.

Best to remember that alcohol won't solve your problems or really help you to feel better about them in the long run either. In my experience, alcohol has only exacerbated and exaggerated the problems in my life, and never provided anything more than a very brief reprieve, followed by a worsening of whatever I was trying to forget.

Best wishes in your recovery!

instant

Relapse, slip, recovery, recovered. They are words. What they mean is up to you. Part of the work is being involved in your own recovery. It sound like you are working it out. Keep on building a good life.

TigerLili

It is what it is, but I'm pretty sure that if you keep drinking, you'll end up back where you were, even if in the short term it seems that you can control it or just have a couple. Most of us have found that we can't drink in moderation for any period of time. Don't be surprised if you find that this is the case for you too.

I think it's a good plan to take a long break from drinking. Maybe give yourself a goal - no drinking until after New Year's or some such.

OorWullie

I drank on Sunday night after 23 days sober and was really disappointed with myself. I simply had an overwhelming urge to drink in company and went out with the intent on getting totally wasted. Monday was awful particularly because I'd been doing so well so I've had to rethink my support network and whether or not SR is enough. I tried AA a couple years ago but didn't go back so I'm unsure what to do now. On a more positive note, 23 days sober was a revelation and I know I want to stay sober so that's the most important thing. I'm on a new life and new learning curve so still much to understand about my problem and how to deal with it.

Boleo

"Less" is good. But then again:

"Sometimes the good is the enemy of the best".

- Bill Willson borrowing from Abe Lincoln

Peter G

This ^^^^ in spades. Your words mate. Sometimes the best advice to be had comes from within - from your higher self/higher power.

Alcoholism is deadly serious business. Just ask the family in Kent that just buried their 31 year old son from liver failure, or the husband in Malaysia who recently lost his wife and 2 infant daughters from a tragic drunk driving incident. To gloss over recovery or expect that it only takes a tiny bit of effort and some meetings, well, that will take you to the edge of the cliff every time. Eventually you'll lose your balance and fall. AA is NOT meetings no matter who tells you different. Meetings are fellowship, a support system designed to augment the real program of AA - which is the step work via a good sponsor. Recovery is not defined by a decision to make it so. Recovery is defined by the heavy lifting... the work.

Was your few beers a relapse? That is on you to decide. It would be for me no doubt, but then again, a few beers for me would lead to a full blown 30+ bottle, month or more long disaster, because I simply can't stop at a few beers. So again, it's up to you what you decide is 'relapse worthy' stuff.

I will say this though, a few beers for an alcoholic is most definitely opening your sobriety efforts to some serious risk.

Terminally Unique

So, in other words, you do plan to drink again at some point, then?

Given your troubles, why is that? Something to ponder...

Boleo

Alcoholism is a progressive disease 100% of the time. Once you have it (not sayin you do), it is like a slippery slope.

Many of us in recovery had some short-term success stories in the early phase of our affliction. However, those success stories eventually turned into glory days.

bellakeller

Did you plan on having the beers today?

Justfor1

It's only a relapse if you say so. If I could stop after 3 beers I would drink 3 beers a few times a week. What happens with me is the beer turns into vodka turns into seeking drugs. I end up staggering around town in a blackout until I sober up in jail or the hospital. One of AA's rules though is one drop of booze & it's a relapse. So if you respect the program & are sincere then it's a relapse.