Beebizzy

Interesting topic.

Instant gratification was a big one for me. I'm not famous for riding out bad feelings or thoughts. I am famous for medicating them.

Resentment, self-pity and self-absorbtion were also biggies for me. Due to my lousy coping skills. Or did alcohol make my coping skills lousy?

I was a quiet, solo, 'well-behaved' drunk who just sat there night after night knocking back the vodka and brooding on my situation(s). Introverted. Which pretty much reflected the sober me too. Or did alcohol cause that too? I never used to be so isolated in my pre-drinking days.

My bf, on the other hand, was a very bravado, 'out there' drunk who brought other people into it. Very all-or-nothing. I hid it, he thought he had nothing to hide. Which also reflects (or is a distortion of) his sober self.

But then again there are plenty of people like both of us who are not alcoholics - introversion, self-absorbtion, bravado etc are not limited to alcoholics. But perhaps the inverse is true, and some or all of these traits (and others) are present in all alcoholics? I don't know.

It is hard to find a point of entry into this question, though I've often pondered it :-)

I sometimes wonder if there is an 'addictive personality', regardless of how it manifests - shopping, food, alcohol, gambling, drugs, exercise, smoking, whatever - and regardless of our differing behaviours when under the influence. I guess that was the original question LOL :-)

Best to all,
BB

Boleo

Now that you mention it. When drinking, I would use rationalization, justification, minimization and denial to protect my ability to keep drinking.
I suspect every alcoholic does that at the peak of their affliction.

raindancer11

I'm impulsive, a seeker of instant gratification, an avoider of work, believer of quick fixes, protector of image and social standing by covering up problems. I want to give the appearance that I'm one of the smart ones, that I don't have to do what others do because I'm exempt. Elite, I guess.

I'm definitely moving away from this behavior since I've stopped drinking. I know people who are like this and they don't drink. I seem to be attracting the opposite, though. People who have a strong work ethic, control their impulses, are responsible, conscientious. Maybe I'm noticing it more now that's it's on my radar.

coffeespoons

I don't think animals have anything to do with it. I've never had pets and am perfectly indifferent to them. Still an alcoholic though.

choublak

Someone once told me biting your fingernails was an addictive behavior.

Jfanagle

Best definition I have heard is simple, but seems when you think about it to fit almost all the descriptions that I have read in this thread.

AN EGOTIST WITH AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

Simple descriptions have always appealed to me.

Jon

loveon2legs

I think we are all unique individuals, and yes Iam sure we as alcoholics/addicts share some similar traits...but are they from being an alcoholic...or maybe just being human......???

Jeff63

From what I have read, they say that alcoholism is a chemical imbalance. Also that personality traits are chemistry in the brain. So the correlation you've picked up seems to make sense to me. I am all the things you stated in your original post. However, I found a way to get through things when I get bored with them, that's just discipline. Also, I have been told I am "judgmental". I am working on that. Fortunately I have a capacity to reflect on what I did and then to modify my behavior. But I can relate, because of this to the comment made that people are enjoying life!

sugarbear1

Lost my post to the internet abyss...

Humbled77

My therapist picked these traits out of my personality in about 30 minutes. I always knew I was intense and looked at things as black or white, but never realized that wasn't the norm. It has served me well when applied to positive endeavors, but not when applied to drinking, though I guess I eventually lost interest in that too, but not before giving it a very intense and unhealthy go.

abc

I'm definitely an "all or nothing" person. And I've moved around a lot. City to city.

LotusBlossom

All or nothing, I don't half ...rear.... anything. When I start something, I WILL finish it, even if it kills me. Perfectionist. Self driven and tons of motivation (when I wasn't in the thick of my addiction - the only caveat to this is whatever I was focused on at the moment, I was highly motivated to do. Everything else could go screw itself). Selfish (what addiction isn't selfish). Compassionate with too much heart (I think I compensated for my self hate by loving and caring way too much about everything else - and yes I realize this is in direct conflict with selfishness).

I was before, and fortunately still am after, a Type A personality to a T, but throw in way too much compassion and caring for the human race. For as hard nosed as I am, massive destruction always moves me to tears.

HuskyPup

I can't see that we have different personalities.

I see just as much 'all or nothing' attitudes among Wall Street Tycoons, from the Bernie Madoffs to the Halliburton executives of the world, who would fleece the elderly or use child labor for their benefit, in order to accumulate untold wealth, as if addicted to it, as if no amount was ever enough.

The idea that we can have it all, deserve it all, are deeply rooted in the human psyche, and also in a particular way in the American Psyche, from the rags to riches stories of Horatio Alger to the very idea of Manifest Destiny, to that of American Exceptionalism: We are the best, we deserve the best, we must have the best! Hail Columbia! But such nationalism is not particular to America, I only use it as an example, as I am American, and know the place best.

So I don't think impulsivity and the desire for this or that thing that brings pleasure is at all particular to the alcoholic; it is particular to our culture, as well as many other cultures, in many various ways. That which might appear 'selfish' is by no means a monopoly held by the alcoholic.

NYCDoglvr

Enormous ego with low self esteem. Grandiosity. Compulsive. Self willed, self involved, extremely self-centered.

HuskyPup

That's no way to talk about The New York Yankees!

Though it does pretty much describe them :P

BackToSquareOne

Grandiosity with an enormous ego seems like the polar opposite of low self esteem, what am I missing here?

BASEjumper

Having been in outpatient rehab for nine months and a long term outpatient group for another 7 months, I've seen a great many alcoholics come in and out of treatment. As well as in community meetings like AA and Lifering

I can say in my experience alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes and personality types. It's a real cross-section of humanity.

HuskyPup

Prior joking aside, I agree: I don't think there is any one set of traits that fits. It is funny, though, that AA often seeks to define the traits of an alcoholic, as if to insist all alcoholics are the same, hence anonymous, or 'without distinction'. So I tend to find that in AA, there is more of a tendency to see all people who have drinking problems the same way, as egotistical, self-centered, and all that, just like Bill W and his wealthy stock-broker friends that started the whole thing: Powerful, white, privileged men who thought they ran the world.

Yet in other more scientific, evidence-based, empirical programs drawing on fields as diverse as spirituality and the social sciences, they seem to note the differences more.

And, or course, there is a middle ground, this is a generalization for the sake of brevity, and having a sinus infection, and feeling all dizzy as I type this =p

babycat

I agree that the actual personality of alcoholics can vary greatly. What I do think is true is that alcoholics can definitely share a lot of tendencies and characteristics. You can be a super shy introvert or an outgoing extrovert and both can still be selfish and have a tendency to lie.
I do think both of those traits are very common among alcoholics.

HuskyPup

So, are you saying alcoholics would be the perfect politicians?

Joking, but it did seem funny!