YouAndTequila

And I'm here, I guess that's a good sign that I'm more serious about quitting this time.

Alcohol used to be so much fun, darn, I wish I didn't miss those earlier days so much. Even after I realized I had a big problem I remember thinking after about 2 drinks "I will never quit! I love this feeling too much!". But over the years, it's not so much fun anymore. The feelings of euphoria and/or relaxation are very brief, aggitation kicks in quickly, and the morning after hangover is much worse than it used to be. So, why the heck do I still want it??
It's day 4 sober for me, but that's nothing really big, I normally go 4-5 days between binges. The thoughts are creeping in though.

I pride myself in keeping in shape, eating right, and taking vitamens, but lately my habits aren't so great. I've been taking a sleep-aid at night, then an energy drink in the morning, and I feel so exhausted!! Being tired so often probally isn't helping my situation at all.

Thanks for listening to my whine, lol. I won't drink today.

BackToSquareOne

I think you still want it because your mind remembers the pleasurable part of drinking, that's normal. The hangovers getting worse over time is also normal and is known as the kindling effect, here's a paper on it if your interested, http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicatio...22-1/25-34.pdf

You sound like a person who has their act together and you realize that the brief period of relief is just not worth the consequences so give yourself the greatest gift possible and throw in the towel before it gets worse, believe me it will.

CarolD

gosh no wonder you feel tired....your knocking yourself out at night then jolting your system back up each morning.
Your brain and body are confused....

Sorry today is a difficult one for you...

24hrsAday

YAT: you sound a LOT like i used to be. it is a progressive affliction and it only gets worse with time. stopping drinking completely was one of the most difficult things i have ever done. i wish you the best!

YouAndTequila

BackToSquareOne, thank-you for the link, that is really interesting. I used to be a daily drinker (the first year after I started) and I don't remember getting hangovers. It almost seems like the less often I drink now the worse they are!
Anyway, thank-you all for the support, I'm hanging in there tonight, kept myself busy. It's hard, and I know willpower will only get me so far so I'm doing a lot of reading (under the influence, and how to quit drinking without AA).
Carol, I know, I was thinking the same thing, I knock myself out at night then reboot in the morning, I need to kick those habits too. ;O(
I'm grateful for this board.

Frustriert

This was sooooo me. I used to sit back in bed after a night of drinking (when I didn't drink to blackout anyway...) thinking that "Yeah, I'm an alcoholic but damned if I'm giving this up".

Crazy.

Welcome to a better way of life my friend!

LifeBlows

Ditto for me. I knew it was no good but I couldn't imagine life without it. Apparently that ambivalence is a natural part of addiction / recovery.

Zebra1275

Reading is good, I've read both books you have and found them useful. Like a lot of others around here I also read a lot of autobiographies of people who have had drinking problems. I've found that those have a place in my education also. Of course, hanging out on SR helps alot.