A Note of Thanks and an Introduction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 5
A Note of Thanks and an Introduction
I've lurked this site off and on for a few months and I want to start by telling all of you how helpful you have been by sharing stories and tips. Even though you had no idea I was here, I've been reading them.
I'm a 23 year old alcoholic. It feels weird to say that because I feel too young to be one. Nevertheless, here I am. I've always loved alcohol. When I was younger, I would steal some from the wine bottles in the fridge, tequila handles, and fill them back up with water. Really sneaky. Only doing it a certain number of times so it wouldn't be too watered down. Almost instantly after I turned 21, I became a daily drinker. For a little while it was maybe 5 nights a week. Then almost every night. Then it would start in the afternoon, earlier and earlier. I'd have week long benders.
About a year into this, I decided that I needed to stop. I finally opened up to my family, a few friends, and my girlfriend at the time. It was hard as hell, but I made it about a month without drinking. At this point, I had been functioning pretty well. The people I told were surprised.
That was a year ago. The past year has been mainly drinking with a few periods of weeklong abstinence. I stopped being functional and there were several moments that made me realize I was turning into someone I didn't want to be. I broke my rib by falling down on the side of the toilet. Instead of seeing this as my personal rock bottom, I continued to drink to ease the pain. I started making an ass out of myself at social events and started becoming increasingly aggressive towards friends and strangers. I ended up having to drop a college class because I fell behind in the work. Those days are in the past because recently I've shut myself away from those friends. The past month has been me drowning myself in alcohol alone every night while listening to music.
I'm ready to try to quit again. This is just no way to live. I'm a senior in college, have an internship, things look promising, but if I let this get out of hand, that could all be gone. On Sunday, I woke up with a horrible hangover. The thought of alcohol made me feel like puking. I probably would have gone back to drinking that night, save for the fact that liquor isn't sold on Sunday in this state. The thought of filing myself with 10 beers to get that high did not sound good to my stomach. On Monday I thought, "this could be a good time to quit" simply because I had already gotten through one day. It's only been two days, but I feel more determined than I have in a long time. I just wanted to introduce myself to the forum and say that I'm finally ready to be part of this community. Thanks again for all of the wonderful support you all give!
I'm a 23 year old alcoholic. It feels weird to say that because I feel too young to be one. Nevertheless, here I am. I've always loved alcohol. When I was younger, I would steal some from the wine bottles in the fridge, tequila handles, and fill them back up with water. Really sneaky. Only doing it a certain number of times so it wouldn't be too watered down. Almost instantly after I turned 21, I became a daily drinker. For a little while it was maybe 5 nights a week. Then almost every night. Then it would start in the afternoon, earlier and earlier. I'd have week long benders.
About a year into this, I decided that I needed to stop. I finally opened up to my family, a few friends, and my girlfriend at the time. It was hard as hell, but I made it about a month without drinking. At this point, I had been functioning pretty well. The people I told were surprised.
That was a year ago. The past year has been mainly drinking with a few periods of weeklong abstinence. I stopped being functional and there were several moments that made me realize I was turning into someone I didn't want to be. I broke my rib by falling down on the side of the toilet. Instead of seeing this as my personal rock bottom, I continued to drink to ease the pain. I started making an ass out of myself at social events and started becoming increasingly aggressive towards friends and strangers. I ended up having to drop a college class because I fell behind in the work. Those days are in the past because recently I've shut myself away from those friends. The past month has been me drowning myself in alcohol alone every night while listening to music.
I'm ready to try to quit again. This is just no way to live. I'm a senior in college, have an internship, things look promising, but if I let this get out of hand, that could all be gone. On Sunday, I woke up with a horrible hangover. The thought of alcohol made me feel like puking. I probably would have gone back to drinking that night, save for the fact that liquor isn't sold on Sunday in this state. The thought of filing myself with 10 beers to get that high did not sound good to my stomach. On Monday I thought, "this could be a good time to quit" simply because I had already gotten through one day. It's only been two days, but I feel more determined than I have in a long time. I just wanted to introduce myself to the forum and say that I'm finally ready to be part of this community. Thanks again for all of the wonderful support you all give!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Good for you Brownshoelace, for joining this group of hope and support and experience! Read the stickies , if you haven't already,and post often. There will be help for you in the toughest times, and good friends to make here.
Wishing you the best,
chicory
Wishing you the best,
chicory
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to the shareing part of our recovery community....
It's always a wise idea to have medical assistance to de tox. Be both sober and safe
About staying sober....I do use AA but there are other members who are finding their way without a structured program.
You are correct...heading into a future without alcohol has so many benefits...Congratulations....
.
It's always a wise idea to have medical assistance to de tox. Be both sober and safe
About staying sober....I do use AA but there are other members who are finding their way without a structured program.
You are correct...heading into a future without alcohol has so many benefits...Congratulations....
.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to the forum!
I'm really glad you've decided to get sober - you made a great first step today!
Take it one day at a time (or one hour at first) and lean on us for support.
You're so right when you said "this is no way to live." Getting sober seemed scary at first, but the alternative is even scarier. Keep reading/posting!
I'm really glad you've decided to get sober - you made a great first step today!
Take it one day at a time (or one hour at first) and lean on us for support. You're so right when you said "this is no way to live." Getting sober seemed scary at first, but the alternative is even scarier. Keep reading/posting!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: England, UK
Posts: 36
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking brownshoelace.. I am also around about your age (24),, and am trying to jump into sobriety and AA as deeply as possible, because the program really does work,, Like yourself I have a very promising career ahead of me and a brilliant job at the moment and simply do not intend on f***ing it up!
Good luck,,, might be a good idea to visit your GP with regards to detox though,, Have you experienced withdrawals in the past when coming off alcohol?
Good luck,,, might be a good idea to visit your GP with regards to detox though,, Have you experienced withdrawals in the past when coming off alcohol?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
When I walked into AA someone told me the most amazing thing: "You don't have to drink". I'd been a daily drinker for ten years (two bottles of wine/day) and never thought it was possible to stop. But it's true: as long as I keep the focus on today (I just don't drink TODAY), I can stay sober.
Think about just not drinking today.
I'm so glad you posted and hope you get everything you need to change your life.
Think about just not drinking today.
I'm so glad you posted and hope you get everything you need to change your life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: England, UK
Posts: 36
Just to back up NYCDoglvr's sentiments.. It's all about 'today'.. if not today, the 'hour' the 'minute' if you have to..
The prospect of not being able to touch drink ever again is extremely daunting, and when I looked around the room at AA and heard of all these chaps with 3 years, 6years, 10 years!!! sobriety, I just thought "how on earth is that possible?!"..
But take it day by day,,, that is pretty much the only reason i've made it to day 10... Today is a struggle,, the weather in the UK at the moment is absolutely beautiful, its like 22 degrees or something and it's nearly october!! bizarre! But it has certainly set off one of my triggers that I'm craving alcohol.. But i'm not going to drink TODAY.. And tomorrow is a new day, and I guess the 'battle' continues..
I'm not sure why I used the word 'battle' there,, because again as I heard in AA, you hear people talk about "battling alcoholism",, but it's only a battle whilst you continue to drink,, we have to face that this battle can never be won, put down the sword and the 'battle' is over.
Best wishes
The prospect of not being able to touch drink ever again is extremely daunting, and when I looked around the room at AA and heard of all these chaps with 3 years, 6years, 10 years!!! sobriety, I just thought "how on earth is that possible?!"..
But take it day by day,,, that is pretty much the only reason i've made it to day 10... Today is a struggle,, the weather in the UK at the moment is absolutely beautiful, its like 22 degrees or something and it's nearly october!! bizarre! But it has certainly set off one of my triggers that I'm craving alcohol.. But i'm not going to drink TODAY.. And tomorrow is a new day, and I guess the 'battle' continues..
I'm not sure why I used the word 'battle' there,, because again as I heard in AA, you hear people talk about "battling alcoholism",, but it's only a battle whilst you continue to drink,, we have to face that this battle can never be won, put down the sword and the 'battle' is over.
Best wishes
former walking pharmacy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Watertown, CT
Posts: 146
Hi brownshoelace...the story you wrote could have been mine. I just turned 24; I only started drinking a little before I turned 19, but I was an alcoholic by the time I was 20. Like you, as soon as 21 hit I was drinking every night: 2-3 40oz beers or 8-12 12oz beers every night, by myself, listening to music and playing around on my computer/surfing the web. Looking back, it was just an awful way to live. I've dropped numerous college classes because of alcohol, and wasted a few years of my life wallowing in an unmotivated, hungover depression. Finally got off my ass and decided I was done with it: I can't drink again, and I don't even care. Alcohol got the best of me.
The determination you speak of is great; the key is to keep it strong. Do you go to AA or anything? Have a plan of some sort? By no means am I implying you need to work the 12 steps; I got sober without them, and I have no intention of using them. AA is just a great way to meet sober people who you can relate to. Like you, I pushed all my friends away and was left with almost no one. It's a very dark and lonely place to be. Finding other people like myself was a huge help.
The determination you speak of is great; the key is to keep it strong. Do you go to AA or anything? Have a plan of some sort? By no means am I implying you need to work the 12 steps; I got sober without them, and I have no intention of using them. AA is just a great way to meet sober people who you can relate to. Like you, I pushed all my friends away and was left with almost no one. It's a very dark and lonely place to be. Finding other people like myself was a huge help.
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