JADIII

I posted here a few weeks ago re: triggers and getting past 4 oclock on Fridays, etc. Well, I've done it but I have to be honest, I was feeling pretty sick for the last couple of weeks so it was easier to do. That being said now that I've done it and I look back I think, what did I waste my time on doing that for. For me, and I'm sure others here, you get a "surge" or some trigger that lasts for a few minutes and it somehow wires your brain to say "OK, I'm going to drink now, maybe not this minute but I'm going to drink and now I'm in a better mood". Its almost like the leading up to starting to drink a few beers is actually better than drinking itself. Once I got by those temptations that lasted anywhere from 5 mins to 1/2 hour I was much more focused and then knew that when I wake up in the morning there will be no guilt, no hangover and I'll want to do things rather than doing everything half assed.

Also, to be honest, yes I feel better even though I"ve been under the weather but I'm still waiting for the real benefits but I'll say this, everyday is better so thanks to all of you.

CarolD

Welcome back....

It took me awhile to settle down to the idea that sober living was possible and that I too could actually quit long term...

I too timed my cravings in early sobriety...

They were 5-7 minutes in duration. Not too long too endure discomfort
.
Soooo....I took action.
Walked...rushed my teeth... Drank cold water...Hard candy

Within 2 weeks...the lessened in both time and intensity.
By 2 or so months .... they vanished.

Now...were they mental or physical?..... Darn if I know. Nor do I care. ..

Sorry you been unwell....did you check with your doctor for the reason?

paulamarie

I think the triggers are like conditioned responses. Habit. Stron habits, definatly. Mine were strong after work because I always looked forward to that glass of wine when I got home.

I think the really strong triggers were, and still are but not so bad, emotional.
Anziety. I have a schizophrenic child. When he would act out, and it would be violent and very, very bad...my response was to look forward to when I could drink. Thats just one example. I would be thinking, when this is over I can drink. Its all I ever looked forward to.

Now when I think about drinking, romancing the drink, or whatever wording you use, I think it thru all the way to the next day. The next day would be worthless and bleak if I drank. I love waking up well and not sick.

I think the fact that you are thinking about the way your thinking is powerful and thats where I had to be. To consciencly think about my thinking. Otherwise how could I change it. Its a slow process for me but every day is better and Im able to get out of my destructive thinking more and more. Changing patterns from not really living to living.

More power to you. There are also some really good reads out there. Mindfull Recovery and Many Roads One Journey, were two good ones for me. Im always looking for good thoughts to replace the negative thinking.

tomdecel

If all you think about is drinking at 4 PM on Friday, all you are going to think about is drinking at 4 PM Friday. It sounds simple, but it works for me. Think about something else the moment the thought comes to your mind. Think active, be active. Think about doing something else at 4PM Friday. Think about climbing a hill, think about reading a book, think about volunteering at a mission, whatever you do. Be proactive. You will go straight to where your mind wants to go.

Feel better.

paulamarie

Tomdecel,
I liked what you had to say. When I realize the addictive voice as just that, an addictive voice, I started thinking about what I could do to change the reactive pattern.
Now I will stop and think about a book Im reading, or something I want to get done. Both things I wouldnt do when I was drinking. Sometimes I just stop and imagine the wind blowing through the leaves on a tree. I know, sounds corny but It helps change the direction of my thinking.
After all, drinking is a decision. I get annoyed when I waste time pondering something I dont even want to do. Its a waste of spirit. It makes me a little nuts at times.

tomdecel

Thanks... I remember when I was only 3 or 4 months sober, a dear friend of my wife passed away after battling cancer for a long time. Her husband held a "celebrate life" memorial luncheon in her honor - at their favorite winery.

I had a lot of issues about going to a winery, but I really did have to go to accompany my wife. I woke up that Sunday, went for a long walk, and I started thinking coffee, coffee, coffee. On the drive there, that is all I wanted to think about.

The moment I walked in, they put a glass of wine in my hand. I simply asked if they had coffee, they did, I had a couple of cups, and I never looked back. Yeah, corny, but you do go where you mind takes you. Change your mind, change your direction. Visualize a sober lifestyle.