Bizaare Alcohol Problems
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Columbia, Missouri
Posts: 34
Bizaare Alcohol Problems I was in recovery for 6 years and then I got sick of myself getting so enraged at meetings so I started drinking three days a week and then wound up drinking everyday. Then in two years this insomnia/anxiety/depression monster took over and I ran back to AA. Stayed sober for a week and a half then drank again and stayed out for almost a year then the monster came back and I went back screaming to AA.
This AA was different as it was at the local clubhouse so it was jacked up with lots of extra fun and is really neat. But the monster stayed around. I really didn't have any fun as I was just so preoccupied with the fatigue and anxiety... it sucked. Every one is laughing and having a merry time and I just sit there in a haze. So I kept going "back out" after two weeks, a month, another week, a month... etc., and now it just looks hopeless. I don't want to drink and get high. I want my sober life back. But it was taken from me, and now a cruel life awaits me with more of the same abject poverty and hangovers and insanity. AHhhhhh what a world what a world what a sad gloomy world.
This AA was different as it was at the local clubhouse so it was jacked up with lots of extra fun and is really neat. But the monster stayed around. I really didn't have any fun as I was just so preoccupied with the fatigue and anxiety... it sucked. Every one is laughing and having a merry time and I just sit there in a haze. So I kept going "back out" after two weeks, a month, another week, a month... etc., and now it just looks hopeless. I don't want to drink and get high. I want my sober life back. But it was taken from me, and now a cruel life awaits me with more of the same abject poverty and hangovers and insanity. AHhhhhh what a world what a world what a sad gloomy world.
TheMostSordidSpotOnEarth
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ParadiseOnEarth
Posts: 811
I'm grateful you've survived it so far, T5.
I was looking for the bizarre part, truth is you sound like me. I'm an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. The good news is that there is a solution.
You know what they say, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
In my experience, meetings provide relief to lots of problem drinkers. However, for an alcoholic of my type, they are not in themselves a sufficient substitute for the program of recovery outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically the 12 steps. It is not the meetings that have provided me with the spiritual experience/awakening I have needed to recover from alcoholism.
So, are you finally beaten?
Are you willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol?
Or are you going to keep trying to do it your way?
With love,
SIU
I was looking for the bizarre part, truth is you sound like me. I'm an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. The good news is that there is a solution.
You know what they say, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
In my experience, meetings provide relief to lots of problem drinkers. However, for an alcoholic of my type, they are not in themselves a sufficient substitute for the program of recovery outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically the 12 steps. It is not the meetings that have provided me with the spiritual experience/awakening I have needed to recover from alcoholism.
So, are you finally beaten?
Are you willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol?
Or are you going to keep trying to do it your way?
With love,
SIU
Gone In
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique 
Are you saying that meetings are not helping you? If so, it is perfectly possible to quit without them.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our sR Alcoholism Forum....
Have you considered talking honestly with a doctor regarding your issues?
Depression is why I quit drinking...it was a dark miserable time for me...
Yes there are many ways to quit drinking and stay quit. Many of our members are doing that....some are not useing a structured program...
others like myself are AA recovered.
There is no wrong way to enjoy a healthy sober future.
Have you considered talking honestly with a doctor regarding your issues?
Depression is why I quit drinking...it was a dark miserable time for me...
Yes there are many ways to quit drinking and stay quit. Many of our members are doing that....some are not useing a structured program...
others like myself are AA recovered.
There is no wrong way to enjoy a healthy sober future.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Depression and anxiety go hand in hand. Go see a counsellor or doctor. I'm done my counselling and take a mild anti-depressant. I feel awesome and no more major anxiety. Now I'm focused on being responsible and enjoying life. 
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
T5hlP5,
I hear what you said in your post, how your long term sobriety was repeatedly hijacked by your 'monster'. I hear that in so many posts from people that have a great desire to remain sober, and fail by returning to drink against their better judgement by giving in to their 'monster'.
You might think that after considering a future life with alcohol and the resulting hopelessness, poverty and insanity, that you would have a plan to avoid this. Do you? What is your plan?
I hear what you said in your post, how your long term sobriety was repeatedly hijacked by your 'monster'. I hear that in so many posts from people that have a great desire to remain sober, and fail by returning to drink against their better judgement by giving in to their 'monster'.
You might think that after considering a future life with alcohol and the resulting hopelessness, poverty and insanity, that you would have a plan to avoid this. Do you? What is your plan?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: US
Posts: 51
Originally Posted by CarolD
peaceful1....Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum....
Hope your early sobreity is working out well for you...
Hope your early sobreity is working out well for you...
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