DayWalker

I Just want to let all those here know where I am right now. I have posted asking for help over the past couple months after my last relapse, and I never posted without honest meaning behind it. But now looking back at it I see I was still what you would call a "dry drunk".And right before my last post it wasn't even "dry"...between my last relaspe and my last post here I was doing some pills/drugs and still thought I was "sober"(obviously not sober)

I'm sorry for the way I was recently if I offended anyone. I hope I didn't, but if I came across offensive then that's not how I meant to be.

My last relapse's were full of a almost 2 fifth of Vodka, a couple joints, a few vicodin, and 3 tylenol Pm just for good measure. How I am still alive I have no idea.


But...if anything, I am a testament to how durable we actually are. Because not only have I been back to a AA meeting every day, but just Friday I re enrolled myself voluntarily into a local Intensive Outpatient Therapy program as well.

I am looking forward ti getting my life back again.

Steve

Zebra1275

Like a boxing match, it's not about how many times you get knocked down, it's more about how many times you get back up off the canvas. Welcome back.

Dee74

Good to hear from you Steve...and great to hear you're back with it

D

LifeBlows

Good for you for trying again.

Mark75

Nice to see you here, Steve. Keep comin' back!!

ReadyAndAble

I'm rooting for you, Steve. Great to hear that you broadened your net with the outpatient program.

DayWalker

Thanks guys. I just want to tell everyone thanks. Because I was so messed up with the way I was here these past few weeks. I'll tell you all what I just told Dee in a Pm tonight. The last post I made a week+ ago..I honestly "thought" I was "sober" when I made that post. I was not even close to "sober". I was smoking a few joints, popped a few vicodin, and backed it up with a few Tylenol Pm just for good measure. yet because my lips never touched a bootle, I considered that "sober" lol crazy isnt it?

Anyway...Again I am sorry for even coming to this site while under the influence of ANYTHING at all and posting. I hope I can be forgiven for that and enjoy again the friendship of SR while I work back on my recovery again.

Steve

recoverywfaith

Glad you are back to SR. You have taken the first step to great recovery...honesty will take you along way and set you free. We recovery together...thanks for sharing.

CarolD

Glad to know you are adding another tool to your sobriety journey Steve

FBL

Glad to see you "back on track". I hope you stick with the plan. The results are so worth it.

dawnrunner

DayWalker, this makes me really happy!!

slimjim30

Just a quick word to say keep trying. Our first quit date was very similar and your journey inspired me. We never spoke but I enjoyed your updates (especially the fishing trip photos). I fell off the wagon but am now back on with you, two years later.

stugotz

"To thine own self be true".

Thats what is written on the back of the AA medallions. Now they could of wrote anything there but they chose that. Thats what this all comes down to. Good luck and God bless.

DayWalker

Up early today because I'm headed to another Morning meeting in a bit. But just wanted to let everyone know how things are. I'm 3 IOP meetings (Intensive Out Patient) meetings in, and even though this the 2nd IOP I did now (first was 8 yrs ago) I actually am learning some things again which I didn't think I would.

And I'm also somewhat enjoying these early morn (AA) meetings more than the evening ones to be honest which I never would have guessed I would.

So at the moment at least, things are good. I'm starting to get back on my own feet yet again. And felling pretty good about myself again, which is great.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Steve

CarolD

I am a big fan of early morning meetings....I just made me feel good to begin my day focusing on AA recovery...

Forward is the correct direction Steve...

stugotz

When I got out of prison and went to the sober house we had a 7am meeting every morning. Great way to start the day. Keep it up!

DayWalker

That's what I am finding too Stu. I never would have thought I would EVER like a early meeting, but these 7am and 7:30 ones are actually growing on me. Because like you said, its a good start to the day. It puts me in a good frame of mind.

Steve

Taking5

My morning meeting is 630am. IMHO, what you tend to get that early in the day are a lot of working, sober drunks and addicts like me, that want to start the day off right. I can related to that.

DayWalker

Yep that's what I am finding too. One thing I have noticed about these early meetings I have been going too (and maybe this is just here) but a normal evening meeting is usually around 30-35 people. These morning meetings have been about 8-10 people at the most.

But I'm actually liking that because you really get to talk/know these people at these small meetings. It's much more personal.

Steve

Taking5

The other thing about the evening meetings is they are FULL of court ordered people, most of whom are there to get their cards signed and have no interest in recovery (not knocking these people, I was one of them once).

In my morning meeting we have a ton of folks who are there because they WANT to be there, and stay sober. We still get court ordered folks too and I have seen many have great recoveries, but the focus in my morning meetings is much better, and more personal, like Steve says.