Cyranoak

Seriously, go over the the Friends and Family Forum and start reading. There are some people over there who, like you, are not alcoholics and can give you some perspective you might understand.

Over here it's just kind of troll-ly, also a little annoying, and it's not rocket science that you were identified as a non-alcoholic immediately after your first post.

As the husband of a recovering alcoholic I understand completely why each day sober is an accomplishment for her. It's easy for me to not drink, but it's not easy for me to not eat dessert. It's easy for her to skip dessert, it's not easy for her to not drink. Each, respectively, is more of an accomplishment for one of us than the other. It is what it is. It requires no explanation.

Cyranoak

onlythetruth

Well, this varies a whole lot from person to person. Some people don't ever count time, others find it valuable, and others count it for a while and then kind of get away from it. I fall into the last group, I guess. I mean, I know perfectly well how long it's been since I drank, but the "gee whiz" feeling of the first few years is long gone, replaced by other accomplishments. I still get a little sentimental every time my anniversary date rolls around, though.

It really does depend on the person. There is no right or wrong to it.

BASEjumper

I went through an early recovery group for over nine months to get sober, and we were required to count days and report on our sober time every session, three to four sessions per week. It wasn't to make ourselves feel good, it was about accountability.

We were held accountable for our sober time, and if you suddenly dropped to zero you had to report that in front of everyone. By counting the days we were slowly taking back hold of our futures, and gaining a sense of responsibility for maintaining our own sobriety

I used to count days, now I count months. Eventually I'll just count years, and after that nothing.

defyinggravity

Frankly, I've felt that way at times, too, choublak...I would wonder why people were congratulating me because I felt like it was something I shouldn't have been doing to begin with...and I am most DEFINITELY an alcoholic and an addict. However, when you struggle for so long with something, it does begin to feel like quite an accomplishment to not do it. Not using drugs or alcohol feels impossible when one is in the throes of one's addiction...and when one finally gains the strength to begin working on oneself, it is a thing to be congratulated. It's less about not doing things you "shouldn't" be doing and more about doing the things you "SHOULD" be doing and taking care of yourself. I view the congratulations not as "congrats for not drinking/doing drugs" but rather as "congrats for doing good things for yourself"

Nirvana1

Didn't you also post complaining how to avoid alcohol while being in bars?

A lot of people have tried to help give you answers but you obviously have your mind made up on a lot of things.

You won't get much help until you get passed the fact that you can be an alcoholic in your twenties, that being around other binge drinkers is not healthy, and that it is in fact a good thing to track continuous sobriety.

nandm

My recovery time is very personal and important to me. It is a reminder of how not drinking one day at a time adds up. It is a reminder that alcohol can be beat. Only someone who has experienced the obsession of alcohol or has been caught up in the insanity of a loved ones alcoholism can truly appreciate what it is like to go even one day without a drink and that obsession/insanity.

Let me try to illustrate to you what it is like for an alcoholic with the obsession to drink.
A normal person (normal drinker) is walking down the street. He/she sees a can. He/she kicks the can. It feels good to kick it. He/she moves on.
A person with a compulsion (a binge drinker/someone who has not crossed the line into full blown alcoholism) walks down the same street. They see the can. They kick it. It feels good to kick it. So every time they are walking down a street and see a can they kick it.
A person with an obsession (an alcoholic) walks down the same street. They see the can. They kick it. It feels good to kick it. So they search every street in town to find cans to kick. Eventually they spend so much time and energy on finding and kicking cans they lose their jobs, their homes, their families.

To know that somehow I was able to beat that obsession and keep it at bay is an accomplishment. I share that accomplishment with others so they can find the hope that I did the first time I went to an AA meeting. The hope that one can live life and be happy without drinking. I had lost all hope of that in my drinking. It is also very important to my children as they can see the difference in my life and theirs. They celebrate my yearly anniversary of not drinking and have for years.

BackToSquareOne

When I look back at the living hell that a life of active alcoholism was and compare it to a sober life where a sense of peace and happiness is the norm where the little things in life again mean something it truely was like being reborn into a new existence. I think that as alcoholics we have truely looked at life from both sides, many of us have come back from the depths of despair, we have searched the depths of our soul and are forever greatful for the new life we have been given through sobriety. In that sense, yes the time does have great meaning to many.

Terminally Unique

Great topic. I love it. :-)

Personally, I don't think it is an accomplishment for me, and I don't broadcast it.

Someone tried congratulating me once, and I just said "thanks, but I don't want a cookie."

Then they said "OK, no cookie." :-)

LosingmyMisery

What I was then, and what I am today, is a huge accomplishment. I count every second of my sobriety as a blessing. Alcoholism is progressive. Alcoholics can be in different stages of their addiction. I was an end stage alcoholic. I was no longer functioning, my health was deteriorating. I had lost my being to booze. I was ashamed and suffered from great guilt. I drank 24/7, had lost 3 jobs due to drinking. I hated what I was doing to myself, and I hated what I had become, yet, I still drank. I was addicted and suffered from a mental obsession for more alcohol. No amount was ever enough. I had to have more and if I didn't, I would pace like a caged animal. The anxiety sent me through the roof. I would suffer from excruciating withdrawals vowing to never drink again, only to go thru it again and again. Today, I don't obsess and I don't crave alcohol. I am extremely grateful to be free from the burden. You bet I acknowledged my sober days as a huge accomplishment. I know where I came from, and where I can arrive again in a blink of an eye. I've lived through the pain and suffering and wouldn't wish the agony of alcohol addiction on anyone. Alcoholism is a form of insanity. To walk away from insanity and leave it behind by simply not picking up a drink, huge. Truly, anyone who doesn't consider not drinking a huge accomplishment, hasn't walked in my shoes. If they had, I'd be willing to bet they'd change their mind.

Boleo

I don't feel a need to count days. But I am one of the few that don't. I view my sobriety as a liberation, not an accomplishment. I don't try to manage my sobriety in any way, shape or form.

I try to attract peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose into my life, so mind altering substances simply are not necessary in the first place.

I don't need to go anywhere. I don't need to escape from anything. I don't need to alter anything outside of myself. I now know that both happiness and misery are an inside job.

sobervic

I'm a binge drinker. Although it's not a huge accomplishment for me to go a few weeks without a drink, I still keep count. Knowing that I have a long-term streak of sobriety helps me stay motivated and makes me realize how much time I would be throwing away if I gave in to the temptation of binging.

This seems like a fairly insignificant issue to be so inquisitive about.

Mariano

It is very easy to understand. Alcohol causes damages that need time to be healed. When you have 15 days of sobriety, withdrawal is over. On six months of sobriety you can expect major health improvements, dramatic reduction of anxiety, no more cravings, etc. After being 1 year sober, the rate of relapse is much lower, and your body and brain returns to being almost normal.

By the way, I am 155 days sober, that is, 5 months and 2 days, or 3724 hours, or 13.409.472 seconds. Yes, I also count the hours and seconds. Ah, 223.491 minutes sober! I also count the money saved: 1893,50 euros. Any more questions?

Ranger

Choublak - If this was a board for bullemics would you be asking why some of us celebrate each year we're able to keep down Thanksgiving dinner?

I'm not trying to be an insensitive *****. I just wonder if the fact we're talking specifically about alcohol affects your thinking.

I believe anyone who escapes the grip of an addiction has accomplished something. Some celebrate their freedom, others don't. Personally, I celebrate because it promotes humility and graciousness, and these qualities make me a better, happier person.

shawty80

i am STILL proud of my xab for reaching the few milestones that he did. i saw, every day, the signs of his struggle and resolve. i know those outward signs were NOTHING compared to what he was feeling on the inside. each day was an accomplishment for him, and i will be forever grateful that he (and i) got to experience them. i hope he can find his way back to those days of counting and appreciating the small steps.

north

"I'm not an alcoholic! I can stop anytime!!" - that's a lame joke I used once in a while - and still hear once in a while from friends.

I have a good friend who is a heavy/problem drinker but the 40 days on the wagon every year during Lent serves as "proof" to him that he can "stop anytime".

"Going on the wagon" is relatively easy and common - it's virtually an American tradition - along with crash diets - following New Year's Eve celebrations.

Quitting for good, I found, was a whole different matter altogether. To me, it was the difference between being asked to tread water in an Olympic-sized pool for 2 or 3 hours or being thrown off a boat in the middle of the ocean without any knowledge if or when a boat will return.

In the latter case, in real life, a good many of those fully capable of treading water for 3 hours will panic and drown.

sobervic

This is a good point and is probably the way I need to view it.

LosingmyMisery

I've really been putting some thought into this question. Counting days has always been very important to me. I went from counting minutes, to hours, to days and so on. Now, I count years and I still find the fact that I don't drink, don't even want a drink, as amazing. I believe the reasoning behind that is because I truly thought there was no hope for me. I thought I was a hopeless case and would die by my own hand due to alcoholism. I was wrong. There was/is hope. I can stop and have stayed stopped. I am grateful for that and realize that where there is a will, there is a way. That can apply with most anything in life. I had to figure that out the hard way, but it was worth it. At least, I finally figured it out and the process has been a blessing in disguise.

aussieblue

For me counting the days gives me a feeling that I am getting some where in beating this disease i.e. I have made it 79 days I CAN go one more , its a day by day thing . There was a point I was proud of lasting the night.

Dee74

The 6th of April 2007 was the day I (quite literally) started my new life.
It was a do over that I'm not finished with yet

It's very important to me, and it's actually more important to me than my chronological birthday - but I don't expect, or need, other people to understand that

D

californiaguy

Dude, it's a personal thing. Some people count the days, weeks, years and some don't. People are either trying to get their lives back together, or trying to not lose what they have or are trying to stay alive. If someone is trying to better themselves, they can count all they want if you ask me.