BackToSquareOne

After reading a lot of the recent posts about relapse I did some introspection on my own history, what I came up with was that there was no single reason but some of my major ones were boredom, depression, lack of motivation to stay sober and life getting too good (a reason to celebrate). A quick relief from worry or inhibitions and using alcohol as a social lubricant were also in my top ten reasons. I find it odd that there was really no rhyme or reason for many of my relapses, many times I just drank because I wanted to even though I knew what the end result would be.

In retrospect, even after giving it up over 3 years ago I can't say that I really understand the whys of it all any more now than I did then. Any thoughts or insights as to why we relapse?

GettingStronger2

a strange mental blank spot. There really is not a particular mind set that precedes a relapse, i don't think. For me, rather than focusing on what may cause me to relapse, since i really don't know what that is, i focus on how to stay in my sobriety. Not a day goes by that i do not work on my sobriety and do the things that help keep me sober and happy.

BackToSquareOne

About 3 days ago I was shopping and there was a state liquor store in the shopping center, I found myself thinking that it would be nice to pick up a case of vodka and chill out for a while. I've been through 9 kinds of hell with alcohol and to even have the thought seems insane, i guess that was one of those blank spots.

Dee74

I still was not ready to admit I could not control my drinking, and never would...
and so it went, for years and years....

D

CarolD

I did return to drinking many times after I decided to stop.

Then in an AA meeeting ..I first heard someone share about HALT.The idea is to be aware and not allow yourself too become overly...
Hungry-Angry..Lonely or tired.

because drinking had made me into a depressed woman..I added an S for Sad...thus HALTS.

In retrospect several of those elements were in place each time I drank again

stugotz

We drink because we want to. Bottom line. There is no mystery in that for me. Just sayin....

Boleo

IMO people relapse for 1 of 2 reasons:

1. They fail to meet their goals.

2. They succeed in meeting their goals. Only they have short-term goals.

instant

Because we allow ourselves to get to a position where we want to drink again.

stugotz

Neither of those involve opening a bottle, pouring it in a glass, and drinking etc... Those are both excuses to justify drinking. Just sayin...

MsJax

Back in 2000 I got sober for 6 years. I relapsed in fall of 2006 and was on an out of control bender for over 4 years, until I got sober in March 2011. I was under a lot of stress at the time, my relationship of many years was deteriorating (many factors), and I had become complacent & did not look back at all the horrendous things my drinking had caused in the past. So I basically said ***k it and started drinking. Even though I had not drank for 6 years, I truly believe my alcoholism had progressed. My 4 year bender was horrid and I am very thankful to be alive and to have this chance to live like I do now. I would have to say Complacency + Unexpressed Anger + Depression got me drinking again. And it will not happen again or I know I will die. I will never forget.

Mad4Chaos

It was simple for me, painful, but simple. Stress = weakness, weakness = relapse, relapse = guilt, guilt = stress. Rinse & repeat.

SSIL75

I honestly don't know that I've had a true relapse. I think every time I've quit before this time, I wasn't really serious about it. Quitting was my punishment for overindulgence. Not the treat I know it to be, now.

So I would say for me the reason for 'relapse' was "Not really wanting to be sober in the first place" lol.

Terminally Unique

Strictly speaking, if I got loaded real good again, I wouldn't call it "having a relapse," I would call it having a whole bunch of drinks. I agree with everything stugotz has written above. That said, I think the kicker is that we forget the bad stuff over time, since this happens naturally, not just with drinking/using, but with all painful events in the past. The brain still remembers the good feelings from drinking, though, since they are not stored in episodic memory.

Zencat

Sure, the simple robotics of a relapse is willfully ingesting alcohol...no brainier.

Unfortunate for those that have brains, a relapse is as complicated as one makes it.

lilotto

As it has been said we drink because we drink. That's what those of us do that suffer from the disease of addiction. We really don't need a reason to drink but we surely have many reasons not to drink.

Rather than dwelling on why we relapse which eventually leads to a relapse, it is better to dwell on all the reasons we have for not wanting to relapse. Dwell on the blessings that come from a life in recovery, it will make things easier.

A lot of us are confused about a life of recovery and that of abstinence. In a life of recovery we are living life on life's term and our life becomes rich and rewarding. In fact we get to the point that we can't even think of any other way to live our life. On the contrary a life of abstinence simply means that we are not using at the moment and that most of the time we struggle with thoughts of using and trying to live life on our terms, just like we did when were drinking. That is referred to as living life as a dry drunk, we are abstinent but miserable. So guess what we end up doing? That's right we drink to suppress the pain and misery.

Along comes the twelve steps to help us work through the cause of our obsession and to restore us to a healthy spiritual condition. Caution do not confuse spirituality with religious dogma as so many do, which keeps them from living a rich and full life.

Hope all this helps you as it does me!

Opivotal

I think taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually keeps you in sobriety. IMHO, when you digress in any of those areas relapse is a possibility.



Best Wishes To You!

onlythetruth

I've never had a relapse, so perhaps I'm not in the best position to answer this.

But I think that relapse occurs when we begin to view drinking as an option. For me, since the day I decided to quit, it has simply never been an option. I would die first.

Terminally Unique

Speak for yourself. My abstinence, or "dry drunk," as you call it, is forever. I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind, either. How's that for permanence?

onlythetruth

loveon2legs

I certainly do not consider myself a dry drunk!! I have done alot of work inside and out...and going to AA was one option I did not find helpful...to each is their own...but being labelled a dry drunk...far from it!! I have been in recovery for 20 months, have not relapsed, do not plan on relapsing and have never been as happy as I am today!!! ...just sayin'