I told my team leader!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sweden
Posts: 22
I told my team leader!
I told my team leader at work last week about my alcohol addiction. It wasn't really planned. I was going to have a chat with him about how I don't feel motivated at work, and was going to ask for a repositioning within the company.
But somehow he managed to tell that "there is something else", and in the end he got it out of me. I told him I drink alot, what has made me increase my drinking, how I feel about work sometimes, and so on. Awesome guy as he is he talked to 1-2 of my other bosses and they set me up with a meeting with someone, that my employer pays for. I'm not even sure if it's a therapist or what I should call the person. We'll see I guess.
It's 8:30 am in Sweden atm, and I got that meeting at 10 am today. I'm kind of hesitant to if I should go today, because right now I'm in a really good mood. Might aswell go I guess.
But somehow he managed to tell that "there is something else", and in the end he got it out of me. I told him I drink alot, what has made me increase my drinking, how I feel about work sometimes, and so on. Awesome guy as he is he talked to 1-2 of my other bosses and they set me up with a meeting with someone, that my employer pays for. I'm not even sure if it's a therapist or what I should call the person. We'll see I guess.
It's 8:30 am in Sweden atm, and I got that meeting at 10 am today. I'm kind of hesitant to if I should go today, because right now I'm in a really good mood. Might aswell go I guess.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Posts: 272
Hi Nitram!
I'm in your timezone :-) Well done for having that chat and nice to have such a great employer!
Go to the meeting!!!! Definitely! It's an opportunity, so take it. You don't have to feel bad to see someone - they are interested in the big, general picture, you know?
Good luck!
BB
I'm in your timezone :-) Well done for having that chat and nice to have such a great employer!
Go to the meeting!!!! Definitely! It's an opportunity, so take it. You don't have to feel bad to see someone - they are interested in the big, general picture, you know?
Good luck!
BB
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sweden
Posts: 22
Sorry for not replying earlier. Things went good at the place I went to. It wasn't really what I expected, but still felt ok. I basicly told a woman about everything even related to drinking, depression and work that has happened the past 4-5 years. She also took a blood sample on me and they were going to run some tests. It was a bit uncomfortable when I was there, but I still felt pretty good about it later on.
However... I'm kind of pissed off at them atm. She said it would take 2 weeks tops to have all the tests done. And that she was going to call me within 1-2 weeks. It has been around 3 weeks since I was there.
I will probably give them a call at the end of next week if they haven't called me by then. It's annoying and pissing me off. I'm not spilling the beans and having a needle sticked in my arm to some random person for nothing. -.-
However... I'm kind of pissed off at them atm. She said it would take 2 weeks tops to have all the tests done. And that she was going to call me within 1-2 weeks. It has been around 3 weeks since I was there.
I will probably give them a call at the end of next week if they haven't called me by then. It's annoying and pissing me off. I'm not spilling the beans and having a needle sticked in my arm to some random person for nothing. -.-
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
But even if you never heard back from them ( which I am sure won't happen - they'll get in touch), you did the right thing and took a good step.
Talking to an impartial person about one's drinking/drugging and issues is very beneficial (was to me anyway). It is a reality check of a good kind.
You are miles ahead of where you were when your drinking was that toxic secret no one could know about.
Best wishes for a continued journey to sanity and health!! And well done on making that happen.
Talking to an impartial person about one's drinking/drugging and issues is very beneficial (was to me anyway). It is a reality check of a good kind.
You are miles ahead of where you were when your drinking was that toxic secret no one could know about.
Best wishes for a continued journey to sanity and health!! And well done on making that happen.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sweden
Posts: 22
They finally called me today, 4 weeks after the meeting. They want me to come in next week to see a doctor, then go again the day after that to see a "alcohol therapist". I honestly don't want to go - I really don't think I need it.
Here's the reason why (sorry for the novel - hope you enjoy it):
About 3-4 weeks ago our dog (Bella) had a couple of epilepsy seizure, we called the veterinary who told us to come in if she has more or if she gets worse. Everything was cool until last thursday, when she had another attack and we noticed she got a bit wierd. We got ourselves an appointment with the veterinary for monday, but saturday morning she was acting wierd and running around constantly.
So we went to the vet alreay on saturday instead. They took a blood sample and it turns out to be borrelia. She got a sedative and another shot of some sort, and we got some pills to go.
During the evening my mother let Bella out for a few moments, as she always does during the evening before going to bed. About 11.30pm my mother comes to me saying she can't find Bella. We go outside and search for her - for 3 hours. Finding a black dog in the dark when living in a forest isn't the easiest task. It was a really hard moment, especially towards the end of the search when the horrible thought of hour dog (who has been a loyal family member for the past 12 years) will most probably drop due to exhaustion and freeze to death over the night.
After seeing my mother desperetly checking the basement, that has 1 entrance and hadn't been opened at all that day, I decided it was time to call it - there was nothing more we could do. Took a few minutes to get mom back into the house, but I got her to give up aswell. She blamed herself ofcourse. Me telling her it's not her fault didn't help, so I listened to her crying herself to sleep.
The next morning we called the vet and told him what happened. He said we shouldn't expect the worst as there's a good chance she's still alive. So I decided to take a drive further up the road, deeper into the forest, to see if she maybe had followed that road and was in there somewhere. On my way back, almost back at the house (around 9.30am) - guess who I see walking around about 20 meters into the woods from the road? Bella! <3
I get her back to the house, she was ok considering she had been out all night. She had probably been walking around confused like crazy all night because she wasn't that cold - only wet. However she was in really bad shape mentally because of the illness and the meds.
What does this have to do with drinking then? Well... When we were out searching I begged to God (even though I'm not a very religious person) to bring Bella back for moms sake, combined with another thought of "I''ll stop drinking... I have to so I can be sharper for things like this". I wasn't drunk that night, but I had binged out like 3-4 nights in a row before that which made things alot harder emotionally.
That sunday afternoon, after we found Bella, I had a small glass of vodka. I instantly regreted it. I don't want to do that anymore. I'm even thinking to myself right now: Wouldn't it be nice with beer? - No... Actually not.
So the past week has been a huge turning point for me. I know to 100% I will NOT drink to encourage my addiction ever again. I don't want to do that to me, or my family. I want to be sharp 24/7 in case emergencies happen. What if i would've been my mother having some seizure last thursday? I was really drunk, it could've gone bad.
So this brings me to that company calling me today wanting me to go to the two meetings next week. I have felt REALLY good the past days. Until they called me today. If they would've called 1 or 2 weeks ago I would've jumped on the oppportunity to get some professional help. But now I don't want it - because I know I won't need their help. I'm done....
Bella: ImageShack® - Online Photo and Video Hosting
Here's the reason why (sorry for the novel - hope you enjoy it):
About 3-4 weeks ago our dog (Bella) had a couple of epilepsy seizure, we called the veterinary who told us to come in if she has more or if she gets worse. Everything was cool until last thursday, when she had another attack and we noticed she got a bit wierd. We got ourselves an appointment with the veterinary for monday, but saturday morning she was acting wierd and running around constantly.
So we went to the vet alreay on saturday instead. They took a blood sample and it turns out to be borrelia. She got a sedative and another shot of some sort, and we got some pills to go.
During the evening my mother let Bella out for a few moments, as she always does during the evening before going to bed. About 11.30pm my mother comes to me saying she can't find Bella. We go outside and search for her - for 3 hours. Finding a black dog in the dark when living in a forest isn't the easiest task. It was a really hard moment, especially towards the end of the search when the horrible thought of hour dog (who has been a loyal family member for the past 12 years) will most probably drop due to exhaustion and freeze to death over the night.
After seeing my mother desperetly checking the basement, that has 1 entrance and hadn't been opened at all that day, I decided it was time to call it - there was nothing more we could do. Took a few minutes to get mom back into the house, but I got her to give up aswell. She blamed herself ofcourse. Me telling her it's not her fault didn't help, so I listened to her crying herself to sleep.
The next morning we called the vet and told him what happened. He said we shouldn't expect the worst as there's a good chance she's still alive. So I decided to take a drive further up the road, deeper into the forest, to see if she maybe had followed that road and was in there somewhere. On my way back, almost back at the house (around 9.30am) - guess who I see walking around about 20 meters into the woods from the road? Bella! <3
I get her back to the house, she was ok considering she had been out all night. She had probably been walking around confused like crazy all night because she wasn't that cold - only wet. However she was in really bad shape mentally because of the illness and the meds.
What does this have to do with drinking then? Well... When we were out searching I begged to God (even though I'm not a very religious person) to bring Bella back for moms sake, combined with another thought of "I''ll stop drinking... I have to so I can be sharper for things like this". I wasn't drunk that night, but I had binged out like 3-4 nights in a row before that which made things alot harder emotionally.
That sunday afternoon, after we found Bella, I had a small glass of vodka. I instantly regreted it. I don't want to do that anymore. I'm even thinking to myself right now: Wouldn't it be nice with beer? - No... Actually not.
So the past week has been a huge turning point for me. I know to 100% I will NOT drink to encourage my addiction ever again. I don't want to do that to me, or my family. I want to be sharp 24/7 in case emergencies happen. What if i would've been my mother having some seizure last thursday? I was really drunk, it could've gone bad.
So this brings me to that company calling me today wanting me to go to the two meetings next week. I have felt REALLY good the past days. Until they called me today. If they would've called 1 or 2 weeks ago I would've jumped on the oppportunity to get some professional help. But now I don't want it - because I know I won't need their help. I'm done....
Bella: ImageShack® - Online Photo and Video Hosting
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
Yay Bella!! Beautiful dog.
Now, I will just say this: You do need the help the doctor and counselor will provide. You might not need it this minute but you will need it next week when the Bella-promise has receded into the past and the alcohol has started to look harmless, fun, excusable, justified, social, controllable, universal, etc.
So I'd go for it. Free help; what's not to like?
Best wishes for a continued journey into health and sanity.
Now, I will just say this: You do need the help the doctor and counselor will provide. You might not need it this minute but you will need it next week when the Bella-promise has receded into the past and the alcohol has started to look harmless, fun, excusable, justified, social, controllable, universal, etc.
So I'd go for it. Free help; what's not to like?
Best wishes for a continued journey into health and sanity.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
I agree with Dawnrunner. Take advantage of free help for crying out loud! I feel great having been alcohol free for a period right now, but I am still an alcoholic and I will not always feel this great. I only wish I had the opportunity you have.
I am so happy you found your dog! That is wonderful.
I am so happy you found your dog! That is wonderful.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by Nitram 
So this brings me to that company calling me today wanting me to go to the two meetings next week. I have felt REALLY good the past days. Until they called me today. If they would've called 1 or 2 weeks ago I would've jumped on the oppportunity to get some professional help. But now I don't want it - because I know I won't need their help. I'm done....
Bella: ImageShack® - Online Photo and Video Hosting
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Allow me to just share something you may or may not need to hear Nitram, regarding this... "I honestly don't want to go - I really don't think I need it."
Epiphanies happen to folks with drinking issues, especially once things get desperate. Moments of clarity can lead us to incredible feats of willpower and strength to beat back booze - temporarily. The problem is that these leaps of faith don't usually last. Eventually, without help, the status quo returns. In the end we always see that glass full of numb and forget completely how much worse off we are from picking it up.
If you have a drinking problem, which it sounds like you do, help is required in most cases. Even if you don't think so, please remember that it was YOU that put yourself in the position initially of drinking too much. So the YOU that is now saying "I don't need the help" is still the same fella who also convinced you plenty of times > "just a few drinks won't hurt". Your own best thinking can quite easily lead you back to a bottle once the excitement of your current circumstance wanes. And wane it will, because that's how life happens.
IMHO you need the help. That you are here on a recovery board says one thing, that your evaluators have also told you that help is required? Another sign that you may be in need of some extra tools in your war chest when doing battle with this illness. And here's the kicker about getting help... Even if you don't need it, amigo, it will not HURT you to take the assistance, not in the least.
I would humbly suggest that you get the help offered and trust only that you may not be the best person right now to judge whether or not it's required. In the end, if you didn't need it there is still so much you can take from treatment that can be applied positively to other aspects of your life.
Let me put it to you like my mate from Alabama always says when I ask him why he carries a loaded Glock .40... "It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it". Farily unshakeable logic if you've ever been a victim of crime, I'd say. Well Nitram, In your case I might say you've surely been victimized by an alcohol problem already. So consider this, if you will... it's better to have treatment and not need it, than to have needed the treatment and - at some point of future vulnerability - not have had it.
Just sayin'.
BTW Bella is a beautiful animal. I'm so happy she was OK.
Epiphanies happen to folks with drinking issues, especially once things get desperate. Moments of clarity can lead us to incredible feats of willpower and strength to beat back booze - temporarily. The problem is that these leaps of faith don't usually last. Eventually, without help, the status quo returns. In the end we always see that glass full of numb and forget completely how much worse off we are from picking it up.
If you have a drinking problem, which it sounds like you do, help is required in most cases. Even if you don't think so, please remember that it was YOU that put yourself in the position initially of drinking too much. So the YOU that is now saying "I don't need the help" is still the same fella who also convinced you plenty of times > "just a few drinks won't hurt". Your own best thinking can quite easily lead you back to a bottle once the excitement of your current circumstance wanes. And wane it will, because that's how life happens.
IMHO you need the help. That you are here on a recovery board says one thing, that your evaluators have also told you that help is required? Another sign that you may be in need of some extra tools in your war chest when doing battle with this illness. And here's the kicker about getting help... Even if you don't need it, amigo, it will not HURT you to take the assistance, not in the least.
I would humbly suggest that you get the help offered and trust only that you may not be the best person right now to judge whether or not it's required. In the end, if you didn't need it there is still so much you can take from treatment that can be applied positively to other aspects of your life.
Let me put it to you like my mate from Alabama always says when I ask him why he carries a loaded Glock .40... "It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it". Farily unshakeable logic if you've ever been a victim of crime, I'd say. Well Nitram, In your case I might say you've surely been victimized by an alcohol problem already. So consider this, if you will... it's better to have treatment and not need it, than to have needed the treatment and - at some point of future vulnerability - not have had it.
Just sayin'.
BTW Bella is a beautiful animal. I'm so happy she was OK.
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