MarkNS

So why should I?

Sorry to sound so simplistic, but yeah, a few people 'harp on' about my drinking, but in the end, they're still there. They haven't abandoned me. I have my family, friends, employment, and I drink CONSTANTLY. 'Functioning alcoholic?' Yeah, that's me! So, as long as I'm functioning, why bother changing?

Oh, and this isn't meant to be a combative post. It's really just an echo of what goes through my own mind every day!

Dee74

I felt like that for a long time - noone else seemed to care so there was really no problem right...?

And when someone did care and bailed me up, they were meddling - it was none of their business...

I'd convince myself my life was fine - it was one big party after all - but there were times I would dream of another life, and another me, a sober stand up guy worthy of my loved ones and friends....

I knew I was letting myself down, not to mention others.
I'm guessing, deep down, you know that feeling Mark.

It should matter to you - the fact it doesn't just might a clear sign of how much your addiction is eating away at your self esteem and self-respect?

It feels good to be on this side of the fence - I'm closer than ever before to being the man I know I should have been now.

I hope you'll keep trying Mark.

D

Opivotal

You have to learn to care for YOU! Its your life and your health. Their will come a point when you will no longer function the way you are now. It's inevitable, alcohol certainly doesn't care. It wants to destroy you, body and soul. I hope you decide to love yourself enough to seek sobriety.


Best Wishes To You!

SSIL75

Funny you should post this because I was just thinking the same thing today. Nobody cares that I am sober. I have been sober for a year and nobody really gives a ****. All the worries I had about what people would SAY and THINK when they realized I had quit . Totally unfounded.

But for me? It's night and day. When I am with those people now I am THERE. Listening, talking. Not counting, sneaking drinks. Not obsessing about what I'm saying and isitobviousi'mshitfaced? I'll have ONE more. Just one. OK and a half. Oh well I'm drunk now I might as well have another one and get more drunk. One won't affect a hangover one way or the other, right?

If your experience is anything like mine, you won't believe the difference in your life when it stops revolving around alcohol. And you won't care what other people think!!

Sudz No More

Drink like that as long as you can if you want. You can be sure though that you will likely have health problems eventually. Cognitive degeneration, memory loss, fatigue and confusion in the morning just to name a few of the early ones you are going to get. Then comes the stomach, liver and kidney problems. Nobody is immune to the damaging effects of alcohol, it is like standing next to a nuclear meltdown. The rads spare no one.

Drink at your own peril and who knows?

Kellye C

Hi Mark,

In my experience, just because things are going ok right now doesn't mean they will continue to. Everything you mentioned can change on a dime. Those that haven't abandoned you may suddenly decided they've had enough and go no contact on you. That job? That could end tomorrow. Functioning? A lot of us were functioning, and then suddenly we weren't.

I prided myself on the fact that I was able to hide the extent of my drinking pretty well (so I thought), but then all of the sudden it is like my alcoholism picked up speed and everything quickly spiraled out of control. I started having black-outs, horrible hangovers, and the shakes. I started missing work because I was too sick from drinking the day(s) before that I couldn't get out of bed except to be sick. The amount I was drinking was escalating rapidly, seemingly taking on a life of its own. My family quickly tired of covering for me, fixing my problems and enabling me in general all the while seeing me drink myself to death. This was the last year of my drinking and I tell you, I did things that year that I never could have imagined myself doing. I was intensely ashamed afterwards. I was breaking my standards as fast as I could lower them. By that time I was in so far over my head and was both horrified and terrified when I realized the true extent of my addiction.

Some of us have to get knocked down pretty low before we are willing to do whatever it takes to get (and stay) sober. Often, by that point, so much damage has been done to our health, jobs, relationships, etc. and it can be VERY hard to pick up the pieces and start over. Some of us don't make it and lose our lives. Some of us drive drunk or God forbid, kill someone and lose our freedom.

If you haven't lost very much Y.E.T. (read this as You're. Eligible. Too.), then be grateful for that and quit while you're ahead instead of continuing to dig yourself deeper and then watching as things fall apart.

I hope you decide to stick around and do the deal! We will care that you're getting sober for sure. We all know what this disease can do and rejoice with everyone who finds a way out of that hell.

Hugs,
Kellye

Stang

How old are you? Maybe your still young enough your body can handle it. I promise it will catch up with you. I'm not talking about when your 90 and would be on deaths door anyway. I'm talking about when you normally still have a lot of life left to live.
What will it take....a DUI....or two....or three? Maybe you'll wreck and kill someone. You'll lose it all then, straight to prison. I guess these are the things that happen when you stop functioning. Do you really want to wait until then?

LifeBlows

Maybe they don't care whether or not you are sober. OR maybe they are hanging in there because they are good friends who don't want to give up on you when you are having a hard time and hope that you will turn things around soon enough.

Just remember that most people stay in denial about addiction until things get really bad. So if they are pulling you aside and talking to you about it believe you me they are concerned.

BTW what do you want them to do? Stage a full on intervention? Call you names? Talk ish about you behind your back?

switchboard

Hey Mark. I know the feelings you're having. Why care? I'll tell you why: Life is not about right now, today. If it were, no one would bother doing laundry.

Is this how you want your life to be, forever? Do you like how things are? Or do you want to progress, improve, etc.? How about marriage and kids some day? Drinking, functioning or not, is ruling out a lot of that goodness that should happen as you get on with your life. You are setting yourself up for eventual horrible and yucky things. They will come, eventually.

And even if this, right now, *is* the way you want the rest of your to be, that also won't happen. This, right now, your drinking, won't stay the same. You will get sick. Really sick.

I hope you reconsider the "no one cares so why should I" thing. You were given this life, emotions, feelings, desires - by God or whomever, and for whatever reason. It was given to YOU. Here you are. Respect yourself and the life you were given, and pursue happiness. Happiness is what it's all about. Alcoholism ruins happiness. Always.

choublak

You say "functioning alcoholic" like it's a good thing...or so it appears...

sugarbear1

Do what you want. Peace.

BP44

It wasn't a problem for me until it was a problem for me. When I couldn't stand being me one more day, I sought a solution with desperation.

MarkNS

I'm 31.

And I won't pretend that nothing bad as ever happened ,and I get your point that I'm tempting fate I suppose.

MarkNS

Better than non-functioning I would suppose?

sherman32

What is drinking holding you back from? I can think of a few items that drinking held me back from:

1.) Staying up late. I usually passed out early.
2.) Driving anywhere I wanted to whenever I wanted to.
3.) Getting any reasonable exercise.
4.) Feeling mentally normal. I was always in a damned alcohol induced fog.
5.) Learning new things - i'd always sit back and read new material with beer. I wouldn't remember most of it by the time I was done.
6.) Feeling socially normal. At some point my friends quit drinking so much and I didn't. I turned into that 'drunk guy.'

I was just riding my own coattails. I had learned alot in the years before I started drinking and I managed to pull together enough work ethic to pull things off. But I was just treading water, never learning anything new, always feeling like crap.

I hope you give yourself some time to think this through. If alcohol has a hold on you, it won't be an easy decision.

SeekSobriety

Most people never cared if i was sober since they did not want me to be sober. They partied and wanted me to keep on partying with them. These were what i thought wer my real friends but i learned they were just my "party" freinds. When the going got tough these "friends"'were not there for me. Alchohol assisted me in making bad decisions, putting myself in danger, getting me into trouble and made me feel worse and worse. I started going to meetings and found new friends who really did care enough about me to know that for me to not keep sobriety meant i was just a day away from a DUI, or much much worse. I feel that you have a feeling that you want to be free from the obsession o alchohol, if not i imagine you would no be posting on a recovery board. I hope you stay here, i care, we care about you getting better and overcoming the obsession to drink.

Have you been to a in person recovery meeting? It really helps/helped me.

Keep posting.
Thanks for letting me share.

choublak

No.

1. You won't always be high-functioning;
2. At that point it will probably be too late.

Terminally Unique

If you are drinking "constantly" (regularly) now, just wait until your first major stressor comes, and it will. What will you do? Most likely, you won't deal with it like most people, you will instead dial up your alcohol intake. Your stressors will get worse, since you won't deal with them, and you will drink even more. A functional alcoholic is just one major event away from the abyss. Trust me, I know.

Quit while you still have something to lose, because it is harder to quit when you don't.

You can't fathom what lies ahead.

You've been warned.

Beebizzy

Hi Mark,

No-one (except my bf) even knew how much I drank and how much of a problem it was. Honestly - this is not just my distorted perception, it's true. Never mind care or 'enable'.

Know what that meant? It meant that it was all on me. It meant that I took the decision to quit by myself, for myself. And it also means that I am answerable only to myself.

I have had professional support to quit, yes, but at the end of the day only I can do this and I am doing it for me, most definitely. And so far - thrilled with my decision. No regrets, and I do not feel any the less proud and pleased because people weren't on my case before I quit. All the opposite.

I was 'high-functioning' too. And that was a misperception on my part. I was high-functioning until it dawned on me one day that I was not even myself, never mind functioning, even less high functioning.

I get what you're saying, that you're not necessarily putting this thinking forward as valid, but rather that these are the thoughts that go through your head. I submit to you that this is your addiction finding every possible way to 'justify' and 'rationalise' your continued use.

Good luck,
BB

NYCDoglvr

It has nothing to do with what anyone thinks but you. They can't see the dark, self-hating places we visit while drunk. It's a progressive disease that takes us down stealthily and steadily. How long has it been since alcohol made you happy, as it did in the beginning? That's not going to happen again but alcoholics keep drinking anyhow.

If you think blackouts are creepy now, wait until you cause irreversible damage to yourself or someone else while in a blackout.

But it sounds like the curtains are parting and you know you have a problem. That's a huge step.