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Slowly Day by Day

Old 09-11-2011, 02:06 PM
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Slowly Day by Day

Its my first post on the forum and I am finding my way both with my problem and the discussions here.. I'm not sure on my severity but I will explain a little. I can never go just for one drink and leads to me having many, losing all sense of responsibility, taking drugs and spending crazy amounts of money. A 2-3 day bender is normal and I would lose weight, become ill and would then become depressed which would lead into a cycle of going out again and drinking more etc.
I'm early 30's and work in banking and the culture around me is socialising, drinking and drugs. Its difficult to stay away from it and for a while I have wanted to stop. I lost my wife and daughter because of it and only now after a year of separation are they (her and her family) realising that I have a problem and i'm not just having fun...
But now I am making a huge effort, changed my mobile number, disabled my social networks so I never get invited to any parties which can start a bender and never did drink at home. I'm also starting with a psychologist but now I am living this sober life for a week what do people do? My friends were mostly drinking buddies or friends with my wife so I need to start from scratch. Also the normal way to meet people was to go for a social event and people didn't really go to just talk but also drink. After 1 hour at these things without drinking you would be excluded as everyone else would be getting drunk and you would still want good conversation...
I'm not sure if I am explaining things well but it is just so hard to not go out and with the divorce as well "thinking time" is the worst thing and eats me up. I was hoping others have been through this and could give me some advice as i'm out of ideas and I really worry I will start it all up again and ruin my life.
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Old 09-11-2011, 04:05 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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When I wanted to find others who were interested in learning how to live sober and enjoy doing so.....I found many in the rooms of AA..
And added plus that I had not expected.

Welcome to our recovery community...
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Old 09-11-2011, 05:19 PM
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Well congratulations on getting sober!! It is the first step toward future happiness.

There's a time when it seems like nothing is happening in your life: those formerly drinking hours are now free.

So: What was your life missing before because of the drink? Exercise, music, animals or pets, art work, good meals with true friends, good sleep (even a solid nap in th elate afternoon which is golden!). contact with remote family, etc.

Start putting life back into your life. It will escalate, and then one day you will wonder where the hell you got all those drinking hours from??!
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:35 PM
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^ What dawnrunner says.

I'm starting from scratch too, LP, although I never had the job/lifestyle you describe. It must be difficult and quite a change.

But change is good - think of it as a growth opportunity.

What I know for sure is that empy time = thinking time. This can be good or not good, depending.

At the moment I need to keep occupied, and I am starting small, doing very, very 'simple' things which were too hard for me before, or rather I didn't care: walking, eating right, cooking, cleaning here and there, have set up a few social occasions with non-big-drinkers etc. These things, for me, are a challenge (less so every day though) and therefore I feel like I am growing, building a new life (albeit slowly) and I feel satisfied.

I also come here to SR a lot. It is great for ideas, support and motivation.

Welcome,
BB
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