LaFemme

Reset...that's interesting about LA. A friend in NYC is in recovery 15 years and is a writer...I should tell him to go to LA and find a good group!

choublak

LOL...my boyfriend loves that show...and yet won't do AA, possibly because of it.

choublak

choublak. It means hibiscus in Haitian Creole.

SomethingBetter

I overheard once at a career meeting two older guys talking about alcoholics, I was an active alcoholic at the time… One guy said to the other “Alcoholics are like foxes that have been in a hen house, you have to kill them to get them to stop”.

Obviously he was un-educated on the topic, as is much of the non-alcoholic society, but then why would they want to be educated on something of such? Each to their own…

checkmate1

I think society has a few different views on alcoholcs. Active alcoholics are a nightmare to themselves, there family and everyone who comes into contact with them. Recovered alcoholics are viewed as strong minded and strong in character. As we all know even as recovered alcoholics we have weathered the struggles as well as the triumphs of our lives.

stugotz

The only view that matters to me is mine. I love Alcoholics/Addicts. We have been blessed with the oppurtunity to explore the depths of our souls like no others. Just sayin...

wheresthefun

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Did I say thank you?

Thanks.

Stop caring what others think, look in the mirror - now, what do you think?

Terminally Unique

I think that only sociopaths truly lack concern for the rights and feelings of others, and I've seen enough of their kind to know that I am not one.

wheresthefun

Then call me crazy.

Oh wait, I never said I "lacked concern for the rights and feelings of others", I just said I don't care what they think of me, pretty big difference there, don't you think?

LaFemme

The reason I care is not for myself. But I worry that the stigma attached to alcoholism prevents many people from acknowledging their problem and seeking help until they are in an untenable place.

Therefore, I believe this is an important topic.

Terminally Unique

Not caring what others think of you is lacking concern for the feelings they have towards you. I won't call you crazy, though, because I don't think you are a sociopath, and I would wager that you do indeed care what others think of you. If you truly did not care what I or anyone else thought, you wouldn't have taken the effort to come up with such an exhaustive list equating the sins of drinkers to those of non-drinkers. Neither would you have tried to explain what an upstanding citizen you are.

Terminally Unique

Agreed, but the nature of the help initially offered is also often just as much of a deterrent sometimes, and for some reason, addicted people tend not to look very far for help. You can see this in many posts on this forum, where people give up immediately after the first thing does not work right away.

Reset

Yeah, definitely.

That sort of thing played a part in delaying my foray into sobriety. By many years.

LaFemme

AVRT...I agree to a point. I knew early on that traditional approaches were not appealing to me, my search for a path started 5 years before I got better, the worse it got the more frantic my search. But because of the stigma associated with the problem I had to do my searching on the Internet, I wouldn't even check out books from the library (although I would read them in the aisles, always taking care to not linger in the addiction section for fear that someone would see me).

Actually asking someone for help was impossible for me.

choublak

And meanwhile, those in al-anon are told to leave the alcoholic alone, because s/he has to "want" sobriety.

wheresthefun

Just making a point or two, or three... AND the "exhaustive list" and my "trying to explain what an upstanding citizen I am", required almost no effort, as both consisted of just stating simple facts.

Mark75

Well, this has been an interesting thread, lots of twists and turns.

I don't think society hates alcoholics. Society has no tolerance for the misadventures and wreckage that alcoholics cause and are quick to persecute and prosecute. I think society is mostly indifferent until they are affected. Even then, unless their transgressions are particularly heinous, they are often allowed the opportunity to reform.

We hate ourselves much more.

soberlicious

I've been thinking about this and as usual, my feelings on it are dichotomous. Yes, I do care what people think to an extent. I care that I am well respected in my job, but I don't care if someone opposes me on something because I always have valid reasons for my actions (at work). I don't care that others know I have been addicted...I openly share my story if I feel like it's appropriate. I don't care if others think I am going to fail...I know otherwise and I have neither the need nor the desire to convince them of anything different. I do care if I hurt someone I care about. I don't care if others think I'm a little "out there", because I am exactly that. I spent the greater part of my life caring so much what other people thought that I didn't realize that so much of my life, my actions, my reactions, were controlled by fear of what others would think or how others would feel. A puppet on a string for sure. So while I do care in some instances, I don't "care" to my own detriment...hmmmm...does that make sense?

and yes, I've read co-dependent no more LOL

Justfor1

I cant believe how big this thread has become. Lots of good input. My last thought on the subject is that when I pick up a drink/drug I am a menace to society. I stop eating, sleeping, showering and am on the hunt for more booze/booze. People don't want to sit by me on the subway. Family/friends don't want to be around me. Not even AA members can stand me when I'm drinking. I lie, lie, lie. I even lied on here stating I had 2 years sober when I first joined. I know of no other disease where people lie so much & cause so much destruction to those around them.

Terminally Unique

I don't subscribe to this. I see no harm in providing legitimate information to addicted people, and popping the screws to them (ie, an ultimatum) can often spur them to action. Although I rejected the particular treatment offered, it certainly made me think about my options, and I did quit.

That said, I don't like the "intervention" idea with the rehab van idling outside, which can seriously backfire.