Seared

I have an event coming up with some old buddies that I only get to see a couple times per year. These have historically involved drinking, so there will be plenty of peer pressure involved. I only recently stopped hitting the bottle, so this is going to be tough for me. These aren't all just "drinking buddies", and completely avoiding the situation just won't be an option; they are my friends too.

Any ideas on how to handle the weekend?

Reset

If it were me, I'd skip the occasion this time, especially since it's an entire weekend and you do this a couple of times a year. If necessary, explain why to them. If they're really your friends their reaction might surprise you.

Early on in sobriety, I had to skip a wedding of an old friend. Lots of old friends were going, from all over the world, and I knew it would be a big party with lots of drinking and probably more. I called my friend and told him why I didn't think I should go and he was amazingly cool about it.

Supercrew

Since "avoiding the situation" isn't an option, I would recommend to have a plan. In my first couple of weeks of sobriety when I knew I was going to be in drinking situations I decided that first and foremost I would not drink...no matter what. I went to the parties with my own beverages. I would either bring a cooler of diet coke, or a big gulp or a few bottled waters. I kept a drink in my hand at all times. Next when asked if I wanted an alcoholic beverage I would say "no thanks". When people persisted and asked if I was sure I didn't want a beer. I would just say, "I'm currently not drinking", then I would add an excuse like, "the doctor told me I needed to quit for a while" or "I'm on a new diet", or I'm on medication that I can't mix with alcohol". As I got more secure in my sobriety I started telling people that I don't drink anymore. This got a whole bunch of new responses and questions, and I would answer them as they came.

The key was for me to decide before hand that nothing was going to make me drink and that function, and for me to always have a drink in my hand. It has gotten much easier now, and most people don't even mention it, and if they do it's because they would like to learn how they can be sober and happy as well. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be once I made up my mind.

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community..

Yes planning is a good idea but if you are really new to not drinking even better is not attending this time.

Instead you could invite your special friends for coffee and conversation instead of trying to enjoy their company
surrounded by drinking buddies. Perhaps they too are more interested in you than in some of the others.

nandm

Welcome to SR

It is just my opinion and experience that if they are true friends they will have enough respect for you and the fact that you have chosen a path of sobriety that they will not encourage you to drink.

I have seen a lot of people that I considered friends when I drank that once I stopped they faded away. It unfortunately turned out that our only real common bond was alcohol. That is not a true friendship. A true friend is there through the thick and thin. They encourage and support us when we are struggling. They are there to laugh with us and sometimes cry with us. They do not abandon us when circumstances change in our lives because they love and care about the core of our being not the outside chatter.

Hopefully you will find these people are true friends and they will support your decision to live a sober life.

Taking5

Since you do this a couple of times a year IMHO you don't have to go. But if you choose to go, have a plan like Supercrew said, but add one thing to it - an escape plan. Have some way to get the hell out of there if the pressure is too much.

dawnrunner

Agree with the strategy of

(a) Avoidance; or

(b) Preparedness, combined with

(c) An exit plan if needed.

But I don't think you have to say 'I am an alcoholic' in order to be as truthful as the situation demands. I used to say, "Alcohol is bad for me". Which was utterly true.

And my long relapse was initiated by an alcohol-drenched social event where I did not drink, but picked up on the way home...so being around all the drinky people had done something bad to my resolve. I do think at a certain stage, being around drunks is just too hard on your sobriety.

Best wishes dealing with this challenge!