Scrubmuncher

So I was beaten up on Friday night, I literally challenged 5 young men into it, I remember laughing as I was on the floor being kicked amongst all of them, stupidly enjoying it. I am unsure exactly what else I did with the evening, but I did walk home on a broken ankle, unaware until the morning when the alcohol wore off.
I am making enemies right now, I am afraid I will end up dead some day after making enemies with the wrong people (this country is bad for muder, especially drunken idiots who mess with the wrong sort), although I may have already done this. My landlord wants words with me also, I have a feeling he has heard of the reputation I am building for myself here and is concerned also for my safety.

And so today will spend mending my wounds and staying out of sight from anyone. I have decided to let it be known I have a problem with alcohol, maybe then people will show a little tolerance for me, hopefully.

24hrsAday

sounds serious scrub.. time to seek help with the drinking my friend.

Boleo

Good start admitting you have a problem with alcohol. Perhaps it's time to look into rehab.

SSIL75

I'm thinking they know that already.

Do you speak spanish? You have to get to a meeting. Or maybe there are english speaking meetings. You have got to get help before you die. Your posts are a trainwreck lately. I'm really worried about you.

babycat

Your posts have become so scary. PLEASE, get into rehab. You must realize how serious this is getting.

Beebizzy

I agree. Did you check out the British Embassy in DR yet? Do something, man.

LifeBlows

Please get help. I am afraid that you will be murdered too. No one deserves to get beaten to death in a foreign country.

artsoul

I feel for you scrub..... I can't imagine living in the kind of chaos alcohol has brought to your life. I hope you decide you're worth more than this (and your daughter, too..... I can only imagine how living with this would affect her).

Prayers coming your way....

laurie6781

Get your butt to the UK Embassy, especially in the condition you are in now from the beating and ask for help to get you back to the UK.

In the UK you can get help.

Oh and don't drink. It is your drinking that has you in this dreadful situation to begin with.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Dee74

Great advice here Scrub - but you have to act on it.
Best wishes to you

D

Opivotal

Scrub... you NEED to get some help. We can't do it for you. I hate to hear your life is this out of control. Please take Laurie's advice.....before its too late.



Best Wishes To You!

aussieblue

I agree with the posts above you have been scaring me with your posts lately .You really need to get some help.
Be careful.

Hevyn

Hello scrub - I'll add my voice to the others - please stop the madness before you lose your life or are seriously hurt. We care about you.

Justfor1

I have been robbed many times on the streets of Chicago while staggering around drunk. Waking up in the ER became fairly normal to me. Many docs, nurses ect.. knew my name. While I recently relapsed I can tell you that these "beatdowns" will likely get worse. I believe that the anger I had towards myself transferred onto other people while I was intoxicated. Also, I felt no fear whatsoever while intoxicated. I would pick fights with groups of guys as well and I can tell you, I didn't win.

Scrubmuncher

Thanks for the advice, although I think I kind of know what I should do. Doing it is another thing altogether though. I had another shock today, I went to find I had no money in the bank, now distant memories of me giving loads of money away is fading back into my mind. Now I am well and truely stuck, no money to get out even if I decided to, not even food money, but my local lets me put everything on credit and so I have already run up a $100 bill in 36 hours, that is pretty good going here, I'll tell you. What a mess, absolutely in the bin right now and I just do not have the energy to pick myself up this time, I'm done, tired of it all and simply can not get it together, after all these years I am now at this point where I just think that maybe this is my destiny. I'll end up one of those guys who gets buried in a cardboard box and volunteers from a local church will have to come to my funeral, just so make up a couple of people to send m off. My daughter is all that keeps me going right now, but it seems even her is not enough to stop this wreck.
I am asking for some prayers tonight that I may feel more confident and motivated to live in the morning, I'm not sure I can live another day of this mind space.

Thanks all, it is appreciated.

Opivotal

Sending my prayers out to you scrub....Hang on my friend. Pull something from deep inside yourself and get some help. You can get out of this mess. I know when I was at my lowest, there was a small piece of myself that wouldn't give up hope. Don't give up on yourself.




Best Wishes To You!

indakut

You have my prayers. You have to help yourself and dig deep inside to find that fight! Use that to get to people that can help you get sober.

sherman32

Scrubmuncher, you might want to start putting together a plan of some sort to quit. Write down the negative things affecting you. Then turn around and put together a plan on how you will quit. Maybe this will include researching the local area for groups that can help you. You should see a local doctor. It might also include a trip to the embassy to get back to the UK (as someone mentioned above).

I certainly hope the best for you!

newwings

Scrub, you are right down there in terms of rock bottom. My heart goes out to you, because it's a scary, scary place.

Please - take our advice and get to the Embassy. They WILL help you. I know what it's like to be a Brit in another country, and it's a heck of a lonely place when things go wrong. You NEED your people, and they will NOT turn you away.

When you write that it's inevitable you end up being buried in a cardboard box and that it's your destiny, I hear you. I really do. I thought it was mine, too, despite having two beautiful girls that need me. It didn't ever feel enough, but now I'm out the other side I pinch myself that I'm still here, and able to be the parent I wished I could have been. This will be you one day - not this guy writing today.

Surrender. Surrender to it all and walk into that Embassy and ask for help. You and your darling daughter need to come home.

Big hugs.

Beebizzy

Scrub,

You say that you know what you need to do (and I believe you) and how true that it's a different story doing it. How true.

Look, you are a resourceful person, you have an inner strength - to me this is clear, from your posts - you have survived the madness you describe, and this says a lot. Channel it into something positive. Easier said than done, I know, but try not to dwell on past chaos/mistakes. You can't afford to. Look forwards to what you can do to build things up again.

You sound overwhelmed (not surprisingly) so break it down into manageable bits. Even tiny bits.

Your mind might not be in the right place to think about things like that now. But there are priorities/basics. You need to feed yourself and your daughter. You absolutely need to stop drinking. You need to get to the British Embassy. You need some money.

Is there a GP there somewhere?

Focus on the basics. This is NOT your destiny. You are capable of getting through this. There is a drive and a hope somewhere in your posts. Use it.

Take care of yourself,
BB