not drinking is creating barriers with friends
If you're losing old friends, because you're not drinking, maybe you were never really friends. A true friend will love you no matter what, in the good times and bad times. I haven't lost any friends in sobriety, in fact I actually recovered some relationships that had become distanced because of my crazy behavior. I even added some new friends to my group that I met who are also in recovery.
Friends don't just show up at your front door. You did something to get your other friends, you will have to do something to get new friends. If you're happy chilling at home, that's great, but if you're not you will have to find other things you are interested in to meet people.
Friends don't just show up at your front door. You did something to get your other friends, you will have to do something to get new friends. If you're happy chilling at home, that's great, but if you're not you will have to find other things you are interested in to meet people.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
When I first began living a sober life..the "friends" that I had disappeared....and healthy people took their place...it's a reflection of where you are at..some friends aren't meant forever..they were a part of you for a moment in time...something you could relate to you..sobriety gives you many gifts.. and one is discernment...the ability to see who and what you really need in your life.....time to let go.. and start living!
I'm having the exact same problem. There's really not a whole lot to do where I live so before it was just all about getting together with friends and drinking, and now I never hear from my friends at all anymore. It really sucks trying to make a huge change alone, and its so hard to just go out and find new, non-drinking friends. Before I was always meeting new people. Granted, I was drunk so I was much less apprehensive about approaching people. But now that I quit drinking, I'm way too shy to even try.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Desert Southwest
Posts: 292
I have found I am not as close with my friends. I have 4 good friends and although I'm still in contact with them things are different or have changed. I'm feeling good these days with 4 months of sobriety. I am more happy just within the family confines at the moment. Because I don't drink on weekends I'm chasing my friends less for something to do and am sometimes more happy and content doing my own thing and just chill at home and save money and concentrate on becoming a better person and getting more involved in my own interests.
One of my friends has said something has changed between us and when I asked what it was she said she would talk to me another day. She has only known me as a sober person (4 months) so I'm not sure what is on her mind. I have struggled with anxiety issues and that side of things have improved and after coming home from a holiday that was really freeing because I haven't had a holiday in years maybe I have changed. She said I used to love going out clubbing with her on weekends and now I don't want to as much. I'm kinda over the clubbing scene and told her I prefer just chilling out and having a chat than forcing myself to try to seem interested in clubs.
One of my friends has said something has changed between us and when I asked what it was she said she would talk to me another day. She has only known me as a sober person (4 months) so I'm not sure what is on her mind. I have struggled with anxiety issues and that side of things have improved and after coming home from a holiday that was really freeing because I haven't had a holiday in years maybe I have changed. She said I used to love going out clubbing with her on weekends and now I don't want to as much. I'm kinda over the clubbing scene and told her I prefer just chilling out and having a chat than forcing myself to try to seem interested in clubs.
Unfortunately for me, all of my friends I had originally were alienated by my drinking over the years and drifted away. I was an isolated drunk for the last few years and didn't do the social drinking, so I didn't have drunk friends either. I have online friends both before and after getting sober from internet gaming.
I'm going on 10 months sober this next month and I'm still left with really no friends. My mother is still a drunk, my brother is so wrapped up in his girlfriend I don't ever get to see him, my stepdad is borderline alcoholic, my ex-husband....is still an alcoholic and is way worse than when we were together.rest of my family is hours away and, well that's all I have since I don't do AA.
I'm not having issues with my sobriety in the least as I am working a program but it gets *very* lonely, indeed.
I'm going on 10 months sober this next month and I'm still left with really no friends. My mother is still a drunk, my brother is so wrapped up in his girlfriend I don't ever get to see him, my stepdad is borderline alcoholic, my ex-husband....is still an alcoholic and is way worse than when we were together.rest of my family is hours away and, well that's all I have since I don't do AA.
I'm not having issues with my sobriety in the least as I am working a program but it gets *very* lonely, indeed.
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