bmwcycle

I have been mired in a business legal suit for the past two years. It involved major deceit from a long time family friend. It has been a source (or I believed) of my drinking to excess and depression that followed. In my mind this was a major reason to quit drinking, to stop the shame spiral and have the clarity to face the issues head on instead of getting drink to forget them.

Well it seems to have worked, yesterday we finally settled the suit, although I have lost a tremendous amount of money and wasted time and energy, it is finally over. In the back of my mind I always have held out the idea that once this is all over I could go back to drinking without the all the issues that it had caused because it was the law suit that was the basis of the issues.

So last night I was tempted to celebrate, for the first time in months I was temped to drink. My family is at the beach and I am home alone, so there was no excuse not to have a few drinks.. Except when I thought about it there was no real true desire to drink, there was a desire to treat myself to some the special ( in the past that would have been a three day binge of Vodka).

I took a motorcycle ride to clear my head from the confusion. On my ride I decided that I did need to celebrate and I needed to tonight!! But instead of riding to the local watering hole I rode right to Whole Foods. I bought shrimp, steak, and some amazing truffle cheese and a slice of cheesecake.

I went home and cooked myself an incredible meal (must admit that I did cook the shrimp in a white wine and garlic reduction but all the alcohol was cooked off) , called my wife and kids and told them how much I love them and them watched Full Metal Jacket on cable. Great evening I must say and I woke this morning feeling great and proud!!!

Thank you to everyone here, I could not be where I am today without the support and insight I get from reading and posting here..

tooling

That was pretty good how you converted the desire to get wasted into a meal instead with a better outcome. Whatever it takes to stay sober.

You converted all that energy into a positive for yourself instead of a negative.

MycoolFitz

Definately sounds like you handled the whole situation in a great way despite the triggers you were you aware of--drinking as medication or as celebration or in isolation. The ride and dinner sound great, as does the awesome movie. And, more importantly, the opportunity to connect with the people you love. And waking up feeling strong and proud has to beat coming to feeling shame and remorse.

sugarbear1

Great to hear this!