pounding

I have lost weight,my stomach issue has resolved, my home is a happier place, I have more money so why after 5 months sober of a 30 drinking career have the cravings suddenly returned and why am I desperate to drink?

The last week has been hell. I suffered a back injury 7 weeks ago and this injury has resulted in the end of all of my sporting activities. Could this be the spanner in the works or am I entering some kind of well documented 'phase'.

The feeling to drink again is growing everyday, I want beer and red wine. I want to go to parties and family get togethers and enjoy myself. I want the buzz back. I am looking for excuses to drink. I am researching people who post that they can drink in moderation and I am pretending I am the same! (no way am I )

This is tough, I had thought I had beaten the cravings, I never thought they would return like this.

The battle in my head is becoming all consuming. I really dont care that the negatives far outweigh the positives. Today I was looking at the price of wine and beer - why? I need to get through this.

Thank you for reading- just posting this will help me - just writing it down will help, i'm sure. I dont post often as you will gather.

sugarbear1

Work the 12 steps of AA. It works when you work them!

lovingit

Hello Pounding.

I have approximately 3 1/2 months and I have been having similar thoughts. I don't know how to fix it, but I also don't want to throw away what I have accomplished. I try to remember when I was a kid, and bored or whatever, drinking wasn't an option, and we moved on, and were happy.

Sigma

I would kill to have 5 months, I know it's pressure to think of throwing that all away, a book I'm reading says dont be pressured, but at 5 months I would be seriously trying not to drink. You are almost halfway to a year, and I hear it really picks up after the first year. Find ways to exercise without hurting yourself, find something to fill that time, join a class, something.

CarolD

sorry to know some of you are having difficulties....

Please take the time to read this link...perhaps it will be useful

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

Dee74

Hi pounding

congratulations on 5 months - that's an achievement

I think anytime we're frustrated or our routine is changed or we feel in pain - like a sports injury - we can start feeling those pressures as cravings.

Of course I'm not a Dr - it may be something else entirely...

but maybe you need to look at the disquiet in your life and work out some healthy ways to work that out?

D

BASEjumper

When I was in an ERG we were told about 'flare ups' that can occur at regular intervals, starting at 3 to 6 months and can even go out as a far as 10 or 11 years of sobriety. If I remember right they're like cravings except they can last for 3 to 5 days. The only help I can offer is stay aware that these feelings will pass and do whatever you need to do to stay sober. Good Luck!

abc

I feel you. My cravings can be really insane too (I'm only on Day 54). Just remember that a healthy amount of alcohol, what normies drink (1-3 drinks), will not scratch the itch anyway. So it's pointless. And it's helpful to remind yourself that cravings are weaker than you are, and will go away. Tell the craving, "Keep it coming, cry all you want you little baby, you are not getting a drink, you are not getting anything, in fact, you can go straight to hell."

Boleo

REPOST:

Abstinence is the leading cause of relapse. Sounds kind of comical when heard for the first time. Almost like a contradiction of terms. In theory, abstinence is supposed to PREVENT relapse. How can it be RESPONSIBLE for relapse?

It turns out that the recovery process cannot be done in one simple phase. Not unlike getting a car or truck rolling along it takes more than one gear. Abstinence is comparable to first gear in a motor vehicle. It is the best and sometimes the only way to get a massive vehicle in motion but not unlike a car going down the highway, being stuck in first gear is destructive. At some point the cars engine will blow apart from too much stress.

Rehab programs seldom talk about this matter because it is simply not their job to talk about long-term recovery strategies. Their goal is typically one of getting the subject to reach some short-term goal that can be achieved and measured within a short time frame,
typically 30 to 90 days.

So what is the equivalent of second gear in the recovery process? Principles to live by. Specifically rules to live by that can be used to day in and day out without overloading ones psychic engine. Some of these principles can be summed up in simple to grasp slogans like; one-day-at-a-time, easy-does-it and first-things-first. These are more or less psychological tricks and tips that can be used in times of stress.

There is more to recovery however than just psychology. There is an even higher set of principles that can be viewed as the equivalent of over-drive in an automobile. That is spiritual instead of psychological principles.

Spiritual principles are harder to learn than psychological principles because some of them are hard to grasp at first. In fact, many of them are closer to paradox’s than logic. That is why it is best to leave them for last in the learning process.

The fundamental spiritual principles are not too bad to deal with like honesty, open-mindedness and willingness but some of the deeper principles like humility and serenity are beyond the grasp of those new to the recovery process.

Perhaps the most esoteric spiritual principle to grasp is true humility. A word often confused with humiliation. The easiest way to distinguish between the two is to remember that humiliation leads to fear, guilt and shame where humility leads to insight into new truth. Another important difference between them is that humiliation is 100% pain where humility is 50% pain and 50% gain. As body-builders would say “no pain, no gain.

All those who are suffering from an addiction have a serious lack of insight. Humility, more than any other tool, can circumvent this problem and provide new and lasting paths to the truth about themselves, their disease and their potential to change. Think of spiritual principles as the over-drive that allows an auto to cruise for countless hours of stress-free progress on the life-long journey to recovery.

Mark75

Nice post, Boleo.

I particularly appreciate your mention of humility. It is not always what it seems. Sure it's easy to say that it's not humiliation or even, necessarily, submission. Sometimes it's the opposite, sometimes it's something very different.

Maybe, hmm... Shame... They can drink normally, have one or two, and go on with their lives, but, I can't... Shame? Grief? Maybe a little of both.

Humility, true humility, can bring me to these kinds of insights. Not so painful, really... More like freedom.

esyla

all you have to do is not pick up right now. go a half hour. then go an hour. before you know it it'll be tomorrow. just DON'T PICK UP!

something a speaker said in a meeting the other night is coming to mind right now - your brain is trying to isolate you. your brain wants you to succumb to youlr disease. you can NOT do what you want to do right now. plain and simple.

do whatever it takes - talk to a friend, post here, get to a meeting and meet some people. getting to a meeting and sharing where you're at will be incrediby helpful - say exactly how you're feeling. people will come up to you and offer support and phone numbers and it'll become more manageable.

do you pray? you could try.

you don't have to drink today.

esyla

THANK YOU for posting that! wow.. there was definately some new information in there for me. that article helped some things click and make more sense, and i now have some questions for my addiction specialist on my next visit. awesome!

tooling

I felt the same way. Just post here and tell us like you did. Hold out for the night time and let yourself get tired. Wake up and shake it off. Rinse repeat. Eventually that feeling grows farther away every time you defeat it.

Shovel

Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, and dont drink no matter what one day at a time. That worked for me and after 3 or 4 months sober the desire and compulsion to drink was lifted. I didn't make it happen, something greater did it... What I call a higher power is what I believe did it.

Good luck. Get involved and stay connected.

bigguyslimm

If I my ask, what type of stomach problems were you having?

pounding

Thankyou all for your replies. Ive logged on and read your messages and am fighting back the tears. Is a beautiful morning here and another day..wow

bigguyslimm :My stomach problem was a worsening pain in the lower left part of my stomach. I have had a colonoscopy and it came back clear, the pain has slowly gone since I gave up alcohol.

Once again thankyou, some real encouragement for me. What a great community this is. It demands nothing of you but is always there when you need it.

lovingit

That's what's so great about this site Pounding, there are always people to walk you through it 24/7.

pounding

Yes and the messages have totally changed my mindset for today, I cant throw away 5 months.

Does anyone notice how time appears to go slower when you dont drink. Its almost as if you are giving yourself chance to play catch up with life and of course life isn't a dress rehearsal.

ru12

Pounding, urges come and go. And they can be very intense, but they will pass. It is just a part of recovery,at least in my experience. There are many paths to recovery and I do not use AA. Have you tried Rational Recovery or SMART? They come at urges differently, but I find both to be effective.

Mad4Chaos

I'm in the same situation. I've been sober for 65 days after 26 years of drinking. I've been doing really well. My weight went from 264 to 231, am actually able to run on the treadmill now & am starting to see results from the gym. Physically, I feel great. But, in the last week I have really started to miss drinking. I was in a store where I'm not familiar with the layout and suddenly found myself in the beer section. It was like seeing an old girl friend who desperately wants me back. But a the same time, I felt like it was wrong to be there & I practically ran away from the beer coolers.

At day 45, I was beaming with pride over my accomplishment. At day 65, while I'm still proud of it, I'm no longer beaming. I think that the excitement of my new relationship with sobriety has worn off after 2 months. Now I'm settling the comfortable long term relationship with it. And while I'm still happy in this very healthy relationship that's totally good for me, the spark is gone. I'm feeling nostalgic about my old relationship with alcohol. I'm remembering how much fun we had instead of all destructive habits & problems it created in my life. I have 3 weeks of vacation to take this year, & with all my previous vacations alcohol was a big part. I have kept putting off my vacations because time off with sobriety seems like it will be boring.

So, like Pounding, I want the buzz back. I thought the 1st 60 days would be the hardest, but it looks the next 60 will be the real work. Thanks for the post Pounding. Reading it & the replies gave me the boost I needed this morning.

Brian