I'm back and I've quit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Posts: 272
I'm back and I've quit
Hello All,
I’m back – and this time happy to report that it’s day 3 of a detox supervised by a psychiatrist.
Let me first say that I have been greatly inspired and encouraged by all of your stories and posts on here. I never would have got to this if it wasn’t for this site – that is for sure.
I’m taking valium, as prescribed, vitamin B and a multi-vit, drinking lots of water, eating lots of fruit and vegetables – and actually preparing meals and eating them at normal times, as opposed to eating rubbish ‘functionally’ at ridiculous hours.
Feeling very good – no cravings, at worst a few thoughts about how ‘weird’ it is, which I consider somewhat normal when you change long-standing habits. If I have any angst at all, it’s whether I can keep this up long-term, especially when I go back to work. It isn’t the first time I’ve decided to get ‘healthy’ but it is the first time I’ve done it AF.
One thing the doctor emphasised was the need to put other lifestyle changes in place almost immediately, and to find things as enjoyable as my ‘private vodka parties’. And to mix things up. I haven’t done this yet, although I have no shortage of ideas. The reason is that one of them is to read, and when I read now I fall asleep on the sofa (valium, I guess). I’m going with this for the moment, as the doctor said I was over-tired and needed to sleep anyway.
I do still find myself having anxious, stressy thoughts. The doctor said I need to isolate less (which I REALLY want to do anyway – and at the same time I don’t…). I should go to my boyfriend’s on Thursday and Saturday, and a friend’s ‘goodbye drinks’ (ha ha ha) on Friday evening. This feels like all too much. I’m not worried I’ll be tempted to drink – no way. I just feel cosy and safe in my apartment now.
Is that bad? I know I should force myself.
I’m seeing the doctor again tomorrow morning to see how it’s going.
Thanks for reading, and once again for the exceptional input I regularly read on this site. I hope to be able to contribute and give something back although I am a serious newbie :-)
Best to all,
BB
I’m back – and this time happy to report that it’s day 3 of a detox supervised by a psychiatrist.
Let me first say that I have been greatly inspired and encouraged by all of your stories and posts on here. I never would have got to this if it wasn’t for this site – that is for sure.
I’m taking valium, as prescribed, vitamin B and a multi-vit, drinking lots of water, eating lots of fruit and vegetables – and actually preparing meals and eating them at normal times, as opposed to eating rubbish ‘functionally’ at ridiculous hours.
Feeling very good – no cravings, at worst a few thoughts about how ‘weird’ it is, which I consider somewhat normal when you change long-standing habits. If I have any angst at all, it’s whether I can keep this up long-term, especially when I go back to work. It isn’t the first time I’ve decided to get ‘healthy’ but it is the first time I’ve done it AF.
One thing the doctor emphasised was the need to put other lifestyle changes in place almost immediately, and to find things as enjoyable as my ‘private vodka parties’. And to mix things up. I haven’t done this yet, although I have no shortage of ideas. The reason is that one of them is to read, and when I read now I fall asleep on the sofa (valium, I guess). I’m going with this for the moment, as the doctor said I was over-tired and needed to sleep anyway.
I do still find myself having anxious, stressy thoughts. The doctor said I need to isolate less (which I REALLY want to do anyway – and at the same time I don’t…). I should go to my boyfriend’s on Thursday and Saturday, and a friend’s ‘goodbye drinks’ (ha ha ha) on Friday evening. This feels like all too much. I’m not worried I’ll be tempted to drink – no way. I just feel cosy and safe in my apartment now.
Is that bad? I know I should force myself.
I’m seeing the doctor again tomorrow morning to see how it’s going.
Thanks for reading, and once again for the exceptional input I regularly read on this site. I hope to be able to contribute and give something back although I am a serious newbie :-)
Best to all,
BB
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
It's a bit early to be around alcohol....IMO
Even if you don't drink....it sure made me feel uncomfortable and you need to be gentle with yourself for awhile.
You could begin a walking committment to get out and enjoy nature.
I did that...and also went to AA daily to meet new sober friends....
Welcome back ..all my best as you continue to move forward
Even if you don't drink....it sure made me feel uncomfortable and you need to be gentle with yourself for awhile.
You could begin a walking committment to get out and enjoy nature.
I did that...and also went to AA daily to meet new sober friends....
Welcome back ..all my best as you continue to move forward
Sounds like you've got a great start and a good detox, early sobriety plan in place. Smart with the psychiatrist, if I'd done that I could have told him/her about the bugs and cats attacking me. I don't see a problem cozying down awhile. That of it as an illness you're just beginning to get over. You're still getting your strength and energy back and don't want to rush things. Thanks for your nice post.
Welcome back, beebizzy -
Congrats on getting sober! I agree with Carol and Fitz - be patient with yourself and don't let your thoughts overwhelm you. It's normal to feel a bit disoriented at first.
When you start worrying about work and other things, remember that you can only do this one day at a time. It really helps!:ghug3
Congrats on getting sober! I agree with Carol and Fitz - be patient with yourself and don't let your thoughts overwhelm you. It's normal to feel a bit disoriented at first.
When you start worrying about work and other things, remember that you can only do this one day at a time. It really helps!:ghug3
I think you should learn to walk before you start running Bizzy.
There's no need to isolate sure - but there's a million things to do that don't revolve around drinking...
I waited, for quite a while, until I was sure I could handle any social situation sober...I'm glad I did
D
There's no need to isolate sure - but there's a million things to do that don't revolve around drinking...
I waited, for quite a while, until I was sure I could handle any social situation sober...I'm glad I did
D
You're doing good, congrats on making the decision to stop drinking. It sounds like you have a good doctor there. I had angst over whether I could stay sober sober long term too, that may be pretty common at first. The saying, 'a day at a time' does work. Those days add up and it does become easier.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Posts: 272
Hi Everyone,
I'm so grateful for all your replies - thank you! They help me so much.
I saw the doctor again this morning and told him I am doing well with the practical things (food, vits, meds, water etc) but not so great in terms of my confidence to sustain a healthy lifestyle and my fear of sabotaging everything (like I always do) - though I don't mean by drinking, just in general. And that I'm fed up I'm still smoking etc.
He said what you all said :-) That I am being too hard on myself, I need to be more gentle with myself, and not do anything that stresses me and realise I'm already undertaking a huge thing here. He said not to go to the 'goodbye' event if it stresses me - which it does - so I won't. I'm not at all worried about alcohol at it - I've just isolated for so long that any social interaction is stressful for me. That needs to change - but maybe not right now.
He's not very happy with my state of mind so I have to go back on Thursday. I may need another week off work - can't wait to tell the boss that, if it happens... :-(
Sometimes (often) I feel that 'all' I am doing here is restoring a 'normality' that most people have always had. And I'm not sure what there is there. What goals. Won't I just have to confront the same reality that fostered drinking in the first place? Obviously yes - but... what for?
Thanks again,
BB
I'm so grateful for all your replies - thank you! They help me so much.
I saw the doctor again this morning and told him I am doing well with the practical things (food, vits, meds, water etc) but not so great in terms of my confidence to sustain a healthy lifestyle and my fear of sabotaging everything (like I always do) - though I don't mean by drinking, just in general. And that I'm fed up I'm still smoking etc.
He said what you all said :-) That I am being too hard on myself, I need to be more gentle with myself, and not do anything that stresses me and realise I'm already undertaking a huge thing here. He said not to go to the 'goodbye' event if it stresses me - which it does - so I won't. I'm not at all worried about alcohol at it - I've just isolated for so long that any social interaction is stressful for me. That needs to change - but maybe not right now.
He's not very happy with my state of mind so I have to go back on Thursday. I may need another week off work - can't wait to tell the boss that, if it happens... :-(
Sometimes (often) I feel that 'all' I am doing here is restoring a 'normality' that most people have always had. And I'm not sure what there is there. What goals. Won't I just have to confront the same reality that fostered drinking in the first place? Obviously yes - but... what for?
Thanks again,
BB
Spot on. BUT it's not 'all' it's a hell of a lot. Getting back a normal life is a precious gift. It's hard to see that from the fog of residual alcohol. Sometimes it's hard to see that in hard times. But the hard times are finite, few, and relatively short. The joy we can find in normality greatly outweighs the difficulties.
Hey Bee... congrats!
.....and I wouldn't be so sure that "most people" have "it." The more inventory I write about myself, the more I learn about myself, the easier it is to see that many of the crazy things I think and do are being thought about and done by MAAANY many people out there - alcoholic or not.
My old perception was, especially early in recovery, that "they" all get it and I'm just starting to. The reality is that a lot of "them" don't get it either.....I just believed they did.
In the time I've been around (just over 4 years) I've, like you, been worried about what it is I'll find....what I'll have to confront.....and I've also struggled with "what's the point?" quite a bit. My mentors in sobriety assured me though, as I hope your mentors will assure you, that while we don't know WHAT you'll find, it's the process of investigation that's gives you the real payoff.
If you're an alcoholic, odds are pretty-much 100% that there's more that you're recovering from that JUST a bad drinking problem. Rooting around in your head sure can seem like a scary and intimidating thing - it sure was for me. It's necessary though, because you need to know what it is you're recovering from.
Luckily, you don't have to do it all at once.....and that's good news because we can't do it all right now anyway. Recovery is a process, ya know? It's one step after another after another. The amazing deal though, as Charon said, is that the process itself pays HUGE dividends along the way and in the long term.
.....and I wouldn't be so sure that "most people" have "it." The more inventory I write about myself, the more I learn about myself, the easier it is to see that many of the crazy things I think and do are being thought about and done by MAAANY many people out there - alcoholic or not.
My old perception was, especially early in recovery, that "they" all get it and I'm just starting to. The reality is that a lot of "them" don't get it either.....I just believed they did.
In the time I've been around (just over 4 years) I've, like you, been worried about what it is I'll find....what I'll have to confront.....and I've also struggled with "what's the point?" quite a bit. My mentors in sobriety assured me though, as I hope your mentors will assure you, that while we don't know WHAT you'll find, it's the process of investigation that's gives you the real payoff.
If you're an alcoholic, odds are pretty-much 100% that there's more that you're recovering from that JUST a bad drinking problem. Rooting around in your head sure can seem like a scary and intimidating thing - it sure was for me. It's necessary though, because you need to know what it is you're recovering from.
Luckily, you don't have to do it all at once.....and that's good news because we can't do it all right now anyway. Recovery is a process, ya know? It's one step after another after another. The amazing deal though, as Charon said, is that the process itself pays HUGE dividends along the way and in the long term.
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