pinkfirefly

So sick of every one being so judgmental and harsh. Alcoholism is a disease. once you are addicted, its not so easy to stop. it isn't just like you can use your will power and just stop. I have been addicted for the past couple years, and i have some family members who are addicted as well. and they call me crying, and saying how they truly want to stop but they can't. they feel so trapped in this world of drinking. and i know exactly how they feel. it isn't easy. i feel so stuck. i am doing things to try to stop drinking and really making the effort. but then people get to me so bad, when they judge, and say how easy it is to just stop. and how selfish i'm being. you know, just because i'm a mother, doesn't make my problem any less easier. and i do never put my kids in harms way, no matter what any of you think. my kids are very well loved. no one believes in me but i will prove it to every one, i will show em all. that i can over come this, and be a stronger person for it. and un like a lot of people out there, i will never judge another person and think i'm better than them. i will be there for them, to support them and love and understand.

Terminally Unique

What have you tried besides willpower?

Dee74

I'm sad to hear you're still struggling PF.

D

suki44883

It's not a matter of anyone here thinking they are better than you, it's a matter of us trying to help you but you refuse to accept our help. No one here hasn't been where you are, Pink. The reason we call BS on your BS is because we recognize BS because we were all great BSers. Also, no one here has ever told you that quitting drinking was easy. We know it isn't because we've been in your shoes.

sugarbear1

That's why we need eacother. WE DO understand eachother.

I can't judge others because I don't know their story today.

I can feel your pain. I can understand. No more contempt prior to investigation.

I do hear a drunken slur in those words, though.

Peace to you

sugarbear1

I may be wrong, yet to be sober is to grow and to be an example in my opinion. I hope all is well with you and my last post is incorrect.

ReadyAndAble

You always sound so sad and so tired of all this, Pink. All the struggling, going round and round with the same old regrets and resentments. I hope you reach out for help soon. The path you're on holds nothing but misery.

laurie6781

When is ENOUGH going to be ENOUGH for you Pink?

I sure hate to see you heading where I had to go. Oh, where was that?

Losing everything, family, friends, homes, cars, jobs, furs, jewelry, to living on the streets of Hollywood for a year and a half. And then when ENOUGH was ENOUGH knowing that I was dying and that if I tried to sober up I was going to die, I WANTED to die sober.

And you know what I did. BUT I was given a second chance. Don't know if you will get that 2nd chance or not.

So, instead of getting drunk and every few weeks coming in here and saying the same things over and over and over, again.

Why not, MAKE A COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF, and give YOUR ALL, to just ONE of the many suggestions that have been given to you on your previous posts. Not 'try' just do it.

Your family, friends, and acquaintances are judging you. Yes they are. Doesn't matter that you have a disease, they are seeing what you are doing to yourself and to your kids and your husband. They don't understand alcoholism.

Everyone here who has and continues to reply to you, as Suki said above, does KNOW. We have been there, and damn it if we can do this, SO CAN YOU.

So .......................................... when will you make the commitment?

Love and hugs,

MattM316

Well I've sadly noticed posts on here sometimes where there does seem to be a pretty harsh and very unhelpful attitude from some people towards others who are still having problems.
Good for them that they may have not drank in years or whatever, but it'd odd how they can be so critical, so I can only assume their alcohol issues really were not that great in the past to have that attitude.

There isn't one set way of getting over your alcohol problem. Councelling might work, it might not. Your own willpower might work, it might not.

I thought this site was for people to express how they were feeling, so it's a shame that more and more often I see people being condemned by certain people who seem to think they are all knowing when it comes to alcohol abuse.
People should be adding helpful comments when someone posts about a alcohol related problem on here, not trying to score points.


With regards to your point, anyone who tells you how easy it is to stop has either never had a drink problem or if they did, was extremely lucky to be able to stop so easily.
To be fair to them, anyone who hasn't had a drink problem would find it pretty much impossible to understand. I'm the same with smoking, I don't get how anyone can be addicted to something so vile, but that's because i've never really smoked.

Veritas1

We do harm our children if we are alcoholic, and we drink.

You are right. It is not so easy for some of us to stop, and stay stopped.

Be encouraged Pink.

I hope that you find some strong women in recovery near you to help you when people get to you so bad, as you wrote.

It is in those times, that you need a good support team. Call someone and say, hey, people are getting to me, and my idea is to drink.

Talking it over with someone may help.

juliwuli

dont bother trying to stop with willpower, i tried that loads of times, eventually it runs out , try a programme instead, there's loads of them , you must be able to find one that suits , i tried AA, and i didnt like it, didnt get it, dont like the hugs from complete strangers, so i tried easyway and found it made perfect sense,changed my way of thinking completely,
good luck

sugarbear1

I spent 25 years fighting everyone and everything. I finally surrendered.
As for helpful vs unhelpful posts, we never know which will click something in another. Hopelessness is inevitable. Just trying to get to you before more time passes by. I never met an alcoholic who quit easily. I understand the struggle and the pain. I'm also not raising my son due to my disease.

BullDog777

who are you trying to convince?

why do you come here and tell us all we're the judgemental ones and then never respond to any of the posts people take the time to write to you time and time again? you don't even hit the thank you button. more times than not you rant and then disappear until the next time you feel guilty.


any easier? hell no it dosen't make it any easier. but it makes it a hell of alot more morally reprehensible when you come here trying to justify why you drank when you were pregnant and continue to do so and then say you don't hurt your kids or put them in harms way.

your sentences scream insanity from this disease.

i'm not judging you, i'm angry with you because you're suffering from the same delusions that i had when i was killing myself with the bottle before my daughter was born. i'm a father who was so sick from this disease that i made video dvds apologizing to my kid why i was dead so that she wouldn't question my love for her when she was older. so don't tell me how hard this is to do. you're just trying to justify your sick behavior.

in the end, you know what you're doing, and you know what you're doing to your family is wrong. the only way to correct that is to take responsibility for your disease and get sober. no matter how hard it is.

Fandy

I think Bulldog has put many of our sentiments into words....you come to SR, I think when you are feeling guilty, with the same train of thought....and then poof, off you go with no response to anyone who has taken their time to give you helpful suggestions and perhaps a PLAN to get some HELP.

again, I will repeat myself...go back and READ your 134 posts...(do it while you are sober so you remember it)....how many of them are both remorseful at how you acted, drove, (drank,abused cough medicine while pregnant), left your son crying while you were on the bathroom floor..and then ranted that you are a "good mother".

sometimes we are our own worst enemy....How do you feel today? How are your relationships with your family? what are you going to do to work towards sobriety and become happy withyourself?

loveon2legs

((( Big Hugs PF))...and may you find the peace you need today.....xo

Zencat

That's how I do it. I have made a commitment to myself and to working a wellness program. That takes me out of active addiction as with moving me forward into an all around better life.

I know the suffering of being stuck in the same ole same ole. Its suffocating. The way out of that mess was making some progress, even if only a little at a time, so I could feel some movement into a better life.

TheEnd

You don't have to convince us, you have to convince yourself.

Sobriety is not for those who want it, it's not for those who need it, it's for those who are willing to do the work.

LosingmyMisery

I was addicted to alcohol. I couldn't stop drinking alone. I had to work a program. I would suggest that you do the same. It just may help. This crazy roller coaster of denial and excuses isn't helping anyone. Sorry, not being judgmental, just stating the facts. The truth may hurt, but the truth must be realized to set you free. What you are mistaking as judgment is frustration. You must be willing to help yourself. You have stated the same problem over and over. Members offer their experience and suggestions, yet, nothing ever changes. You either take the advice, or continue to drink. The choice is yours. We just want to help you. When you are ready we will be here.

Why don't you do it together with you family members who can't stop alone. Strength in numbers...

Boleo

I to get mad when those who had alcohol-issues say "Just stop", as if it's that easy for all of us.

IMO there is a big difference between alchohol-ISM and alcohol-ISSUES. Some people get in trouble while drinking and actually learn from their mistake. That never worked for me. I'm the kind of alcoholic that will never learn from my mistakes, because when all the cards are on the table, my disease trumps them all with the King of Spades - BLIND SPOTS.

For me, sobriety is a by-product of spiritual fitness. I never would have learned to stay sober by seeking sobriety directly. I had to get a higher power that can manage my sobriety for me.

Elisabeth888

Seek help before you are forced to or something worse happens.

I don't have kids and I am not being judgemental, just honest: Something is going to happen if you keep doing what you are doing. Alcoholism is progressive - we can't control it.

God bless and good luck