HuskyPup

Well, it’s been 25 days, and I feel like I’ve learned a great deal, and am eager to continue along the path. I’ve found that a combination approach to maintaining sobriety has worked well for me. I see a therapist once a week, a psychologist with a PhD, a certificate in psychoanalysis, and also a specialty in addictions counseling. I am working an alternative to the 12 steps, called The Spiral Steps, which I am journaling here, on a separate thread. (Will update later today, go here to readhttp://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3070369)

I’m also going to a few AA meetings each week. This week, I actually took in three, one agnostic, and at the LGBT center. I like to go and hear the stories, and sometimes share my own. I don’t have a sponsor, but still find the chips motivating, in an odd way…can’t wait to get my one month chip next week. And I also use aspects of SMART and other fields of psychology. Many have said that AA is an all or nothing deal, and I can respect that view, if it is true in the case of the person to whom it is true, but I am discovering what a wonderful asset it can be to different modes of recovery. I would like to thank AA, SMART, the Spiral Steps, and all the other paths that have formed the warp and weft as I weave the cloth of healing and recovery.

stugotz

Knowledge is one very important step in recovery.

spryte

Good for you for keeping an open mind!

Find what works for YOU, and it might be a comination of things

HuskyPup

Thanks to both of you, there. At first, I have to admit I was put off by some in AA who insisted that it was the one, true, only path, and was an all or nothing deal, and that anything short was doomed to failure, a cop-out, or whatever other derogatory remarks may have been made out of whatever inner psychological need. But I have learned to take such comments in stride, and that AA can still have value, even without embracing every aspect of the program. One often hears of 'letting go' as an asset in recovery: to me, letting go that one program is the only way has been a huge help; though I do understand that this may not be so for others.

abc

HuskyPup, I am also working my own program which borrows concepts from a number of programs. I want to go to some AA meetings too without engaging in the Twelve Steps, just because it might be a good place to make sober friends. I wasn't sure if AA is ok with this arrangement though. Are they ok with this at your meetings? They don't appear to have Agnostic or secular AA meetings in my city.

HuskyPup

So far, they are fine with this at the agnostic meetings, and also OK with the idea at the GLBT meetings. As AA mentions, all that is required for membership is a desire to stop drinking, so I have not had any problems yet! But it probably does depend on the group. The rudest comments happened here on various threads, which I have managed to shrug off. Much easier for people to be flippant on the internet :P

In any event, I think it takes a certain state of mind: but focus on using what you need to stay sober, and go from there.

DaveO

That is great Huskypup

People mixed drinks when they drank, so why not mix recovery programs.

You should always use what works for you

CarolD

The AA book...Alcoholics Anonymous clearly states that AA is not for everyone.
Open AA meetings are just that....open to anyone interested.


I certainly hope everyone finds their way into a healthy sober productive future....we can and do win over alcohol..

Mark75

I went back and read the thread were you got all those "rude" comments you've mentioned twice now in this thread.

I don't know, what I saw were statements of care and concern by those who use the 12 steps... Posted, I might add, in the 12 step forum... Rude, nope, concerned, yes... Anxious to be of some service to a newbie in AA? most definitely, I know I was...

It is easy to be flippant on the Internet, huh?

Boleo

Good friends care about your feelings. Your best friends care about your life.

"Sometimes the good is the enemy of the best".

(Bill Wilson stealing from Abe Lincoln)

ZZworldontheweb

I'm a pretty big advocate of AA, but I don't follow every jot and tittle of the program. I also find support in church and from my family. I think the key is to find SOME defined program that is something more than just willpower or whatever I make up at the time. Something that somebody has tried before and has a good track record. Something is better than nothing, especially in early sobriety.

LosingmyMisery

Anyone who is working toward sobriety, my hat goes off to them and I wish them well. However, AA is meant to be worked a certain way. It is a process that is to progress step by step. When anyone starts changing the program dramatically to suit their wants and needs, it is no longer AA. Now, I understand I sound like a hardcore AAer in saying that. I have tried my way of AA and it didn't work. I worked AA as it was intended and I got and stayed sober. I no longer attend AA, but stick with the process daily. In a sense, I too have changed the program, but I had a solid foundation before I left. I think that makes a big difference.

Over the years, I have seen many attempt the approach of adapting the program without much success. Sure, it may work for some, it may work for awhile, but eventually the day may come where the obsession to drink is one step behind, whispering "you need a drink, just one" and I'd have to wonder if the proper tools are in place to ward the voice off. I'd want to make sure I was strong enough to fight back the temptation. I promise you, there will be days when life is difficult and it is easy to fall back into old habits. I've seen it happen over and over again.

Again, kudos to anyone who wants to stop drinking and is making an effort, but I would strongly suggest to work a solid program, any program, the way it is intended to be worked and do not piece meal a program of sobriety. I speak from experience. When I tried to change the program, to suit my wants and needs, I ended up with piece mealed sobriety. It wasn't solid at all. I white knuckled it for a few months then relapsed. That is not to say that everyone will relapse, but I think it is important to have a sturdy program to prevent that from happening.

One day is tough, one month is tough, etc. Life is difficult. We want to have strong sobriety that can hold up through life's difficult times. Gawd knows there will be plenty of them. I ask you to just think about it what I am saying and why I am saying it. Each time I was trying harder than the last and it didn't work. The next time I tried harder than the time before and I failed. Using death as a motivator, I leapt into action and took the advice of others working a full program stepping outside of my comfort zone.

Sometimes you have to feel a bit uncomfortable, doing things out of your realm, to get better. You know what I mean? Not trying to stir the pot, just trying to offer some healthy advice of caution. As always, I wish you the best in your recovery.

omegasupreme

A man showed me that I was creating a lot of new inventory by using the word friend. See, my ego has a state of being or false persona if you will attached to that word...which means Omega thinks he needs something from these people to be ok in life...he showed me that the word "pal" has a much less degree of attachment by the ego...and for me that has certainly been my truth...so, I am still writing inventory on "old friends" if you will, but have been trying to incorporate the word "pal" much more often with new individuals that I cross paths with, lol. It seems to be working...and the greatest love anyone on this planet can show me is to tell me my truth.

As far as the good being the enemy of the best...this, kind sir, has certainly been my truth in the MOTR.

HuskyPup

Thanks for all the comments. I will still use AA in combination with other ideas, and I don't see any evidence that the success rate of becoming sober, functional and self-actualizing is any less using an ecclectic approach. It is, after all, under the supervision of a highly trained professional, buttressed by my own work, and further supported by my real life encounters in the groups I attend. If anything, that voice telling me to pick up is made quiter by this combination than it was by any one method. But that is me. Things function differently for different people, and I can certainly understand this.

MrDavid

That's great to hear HuskyPup. Something, to be proud of that's for sure. You've not only discovered that healing and wholeness is still possible, but that it can come to us through many alternative outlets other than the rooms of "AA" -even though my allegiance is "AA" all the way. It's really up to the individual to decide, not me. Others -like yourself- have recovered using alternative methods and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. However, we should be wary of any claims that can supposedly "cure" our alcoholism - Especially, when "AA" or other recovery platforms clearly state otherwise. Something, we should consider thoroughly before embarking on any predisposed campaign that is a so called "cure" for anything. Of course, that's my opinion and only my opinion, thanks be to God. Congrats-once again- HuskyPup and I wish you continued success for many years to come -as always.

~God bless~

LosingmyMisery

HP, I'm glad you are feeling confident and working so hard in your recovery. That certainly is the catalyst to any recovery. I want to thank you for sharing your recovery with all of us. We all can learn from your journey.

onlythetruth

HuskyPup,

Good for you! I am glad you've found a path that works for you. As a member of SMART Recovery, I know that many of our members use a combination of approaches successfully. You are absolutely correct that there is no evidence showing that a "pure" approach is more effective, or indeed that any one program is more effective than any other. The approach that works the best is the one that fits you, that you can commit to and that makes sense to you.

Great job!!!

HuskyPup

Thanks again, to everyone. Busy, busy day here, and the site was down for a bit earlier, I think, or at least from here. I agree, there is no magical cure. When I looked at the 4th step in AA, this is pretty much what we have been working on in therapy, without using quite the same terms, and looking more towards changing negative, unproductive patterns of thought and behavior into productive ones. Soon, I will get to my equivalent of this on my Spiral Step thread...today was a mass of phone calls, trying to get rid of Verizon, and set up cheaper phone and internet plans, so as to save money in tight times!

Oh, and as for SMART: I think they offer some very effective tools for com batting urges, or what they call the addictive voice...this has been immensely helpful, as well, and is one feature of the combination that is certainly a pillar of support.

spryte

I agree with the gist of this post, which I think is that even if you don't adopt one program fully, you should have a defined plan. If it's a combination of programs, then it's your own plan...you might develop it with a counsellor.

But it is important to have a defined plan.

Bits of one and bits of another...that amount to structure. If we don't have structure, we will stay in the structure of our current lives.

HuskyPup

Not to worry, my plan is very well defined, and is not merely a rag-tag compendium. It revolves around weekly meetings with a trained addictions counselor and Dr. of Psychology; daily work on the Spiral steps; attending an average of 2 AA meetings per week (my home group, and one other), as well as using the tools offered by SMART and REBT.

I can't really imagine much more structure, outside of a rehab facility

I would add that seeing a trained professional has been an immense help...as much as the 'average Joe' at meeting gives us one view of things, a well trained analyst can help us uncover a lot of things in ways that a sponsor may be unable or untrained to, such that the programs are complimentary rather than antagonistic.

Oh, on that note, my book on The Spiral Steps is due to arrive today or tomorrow, and I look forward to reading about them in more detail than on the website.

Well, day 27, a new record, and feeling good. Tomorrow, I see my therapist, and I am looking forward to it.