I am a drunk, with hope.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 6
I am a drunk, with hope.
I have decided again to have my last drink. I keep coming here for support, you guys are great, I know its up to me, but its hard. I was sober for a year and a half and my eating disorder took over, went back to drinking, gained all my weight back. Just want the pain to go away without alcohol, but alcohol is my only true friend. It numbs me to where I don't have to deal with life. But I want to quit because ...........I actually don't have a true reason why. I need to keep healthy to work to provide for me and my kids. I am alone and isolated when I don't drink, and also when I do, go figure, easy to deal. I've tried to believe in God but it just doesn't happen for me, I don't understand, it just doesn't work for me, I guess Im too realistic. Tomorrow is a new day, wish me luck.
Glad to see you! Maybe this time will be different for you. I had many false starts, but finally quit after a lifetime of drinking.
I hope you'll keep talking to us - it will help keep your mind occupied. You're never alone as long as you can come here and share your feelings.
I hope you'll keep talking to us - it will help keep your mind occupied. You're never alone as long as you can come here and share your feelings.
Welcome back anitaman
Not sure that's a great friend.
Wouldn't it be better to learn to deal with life?
I used to be petrified of the idea - but seriously I wouldn't have it any other way now.
This was me too - but I never gave it long enough to work...and I never worked hard enough at trying to live sober.
Drunk I used to sit in front of the TV...I found living sober - reaching out so I'm not lonely or isolated - takes a lot more effort than that.
It takes time to learn to live again - it's not an overnight process - I promise tho...if you stick with it and work at it, you won't lose a thing, and you'll gain so so much
D
alcohol is my only true friend. It numbs me to where I don't have to deal with life.
Wouldn't it be better to learn to deal with life?
I used to be petrified of the idea - but seriously I wouldn't have it any other way now.
I am alone and isolated when I don't drink,
Drunk I used to sit in front of the TV...I found living sober - reaching out so I'm not lonely or isolated - takes a lot more effort than that.
It takes time to learn to live again - it's not an overnight process - I promise tho...if you stick with it and work at it, you won't lose a thing, and you'll gain so so much
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Anitaman,
Just noticed what you mentioned about your non-theistic view. You may be in the minority, but that's how it goes. There are plenty of us (atheist, or athiestic leaning Agnostics) who are successfully recovered, or active in recovery.
IMHO, recovery from a potentially life threatening addiction will always trump personal philosophy (or world view). All those details became just secondary, when all I knew how to do was live in a fog.
You're not alone , ;......
keep checking in with SR,
lot's of support and great imfo here.
Just noticed what you mentioned about your non-theistic view. You may be in the minority, but that's how it goes. There are plenty of us (atheist, or athiestic leaning Agnostics) who are successfully recovered, or active in recovery.
IMHO, recovery from a potentially life threatening addiction will always trump personal philosophy (or world view). All those details became just secondary, when all I knew how to do was live in a fog.
You're not alone , ;......
keep checking in with SR,
lot's of support and great imfo here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Mt
Posts: 298
Anitaman welcome back Keep trying. I had to surrender total defeat in my addiction. It had me by the neck and was choking the life out of me. It was only then that I knew I has to quit. 30 years of trying. The first month was so hard with the cravings, because it was still a physical thing. Now I have my head cravings and I can deal with them if I am vigilent and working on what needs to be done in my life. Good luck! You can do this thing, but......... you have to really want it.
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