Cindi74

That was the topic today at my Lunchtime AA Meeting. Fear when you are newly sober and the future is uncertain, etc.
Some people were saying that you have to walk through the fear, work through it and eventually that fear will go away. I was thinking I do not EVER want to lose my fear of alcohol. When I did that was when my relapses would occur-I would no longer be in fear of what alcohol had done to me in the past and start that dangerous journey back into "social drinking" which always led back to my full blown alcoholic behavior. When I expressed this there was an older Lady who gave me an interesting insight-she said I shouldn't fear alcohol but I should learn to respect it. I guess in a way she may be right-I need to respect the fact that it's there, it's all over the place, it has the capacity to ruin my entire life and even has almost taken my life more than a couple of times.

I still think that fearing alcohol, for me, anyway is a good thing.

nandm

I still think of the definition I heard about fear every time I hear the topic. The definition:
Fear: Fear is the faith that something bad will happen.

So my thoughts are that 99% of what we worry about doesn't happen so why worry?

MycoolFitz

Good topic, I tend to agree. We can be aware of our fear but not give into it nor be paralized by it, just accept it for what it is, and for what it isn't . Ram Dass says that "fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth".

CleanandSober44

I think realistic fears are ok. I fear alcohol a little, which makes me work the program even more so. I fear my higher power sometimes, which makes me live a good spiritual life. I fear people who are violent, which makes me stay away from them.

I dont fear a lot of unrealistic fears I use to have since working the AA program.

God Bless

eJoshua

Hmm very interesting...

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I don't think that fear is a good emotion to act out of, however, so I try to instead act out of my desire to remain sober, rather than my fear of what would happen if I were to drink again.

My alcoholic brain can reason away the fear, but no part of me can argue with the fact that I would like to live a happy, fulfilling life. Once I have made the logical determination that sobriety is the means of attaining that, emotions like fear (or lack of fear) are just emotions, and don't bear acting upon.

Having said that, I turn it all over to my HP because I know that my best thinking and logic didn't turn out too well...

instant

In my mind I am trying to put alcohol in the same "category" as heroin ie why would you want to go there

keithj

AA's program of recovery contains a pretty clear prescription for how to handle fear.

It also contains a pretty clear description the the expected results when that prescription is followed.

Boleo

When I feared alcohol, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which it did. When I feared relapse, I felt like I was walking a tight-rope. Which I was.

After having a Spiritual Awakening, I no longer thought of alcohol, it was irrelevant. Which it still is. I no longer feared relapse, it was a moot issue. Which is what it is today.

I no longer try to manage my sobriety in any way, shape or form. It is a by-product of my spiritual fitness. So long as I stay spiritually fit, nothing disturbs me enough that I feel like drinking to escape from reality. Like I did when I feared reality.

It is reality that I had to stop fearing.

Cindi74

I'm still pretty new to AA (just got a Sponsor this week) so I'm still learning. It has already helped me immensly in the last 2 weeks since my relapse. But the good news is, I'm finally starting to get it!

NYCDoglvr

Fear = false evidence appearing real. Fear is simply an emotion, the projection that something bad will happen. It's a thought and you can "change the channel" in a heartbeat with a bit of practice.

Kellye C

I had a lot of fear alcohol in early sobriety. In fact, I was so scared of it magically leaping into my basket at the grocery store so I either refused to get things on the same aisle with it or if I HAD to get the other items then I would hold my breath, avert my eyes and almost run past it. That may sound extreme but that is how much I didn't want to drink.

With just a little bit of time and working steps with my sponsor I settled down a lot. Today, like another person said (sorry, brain fart!), I really don't give it any thought at all. It's there and I can't have it just like I can't have strawberries which is the allergy analogy for me. In the same vein though there are certain times which experience has showed me that I need to step up my game. Christmas potluck at the office for one. Bit into something that typically wouldn't have alcohol to find out it was SOAKED in it! So, I do stay aware of the situation and that is not fear but rather a respect of it. Like I would respect shellfish if I had a shellfish allergy. I hope that makes sense.

In sobriety I have been able to go places and plan events where alcohol was served and wasn't phased by it. That is the program of A.A. and a relationship with a Power greater than myself working in my life today. Like it talks about in the big book, we can go anywhere and be ok as long as we are spiritually fit and our motives for being there are right. (I apologize now - I don't have the Big Book memorized as some have done.)

Anyway, I always love when that topic comes up in meetings because it is interesting to see how others interpret it. Sorta like here!!! Cindi74, congrats on getting a sponsor and getting started on the steps. Throw yourself into it and you will reap many rewards!

Take care,
Kellye

KellyToronto

My sister once told me that FEAR IS A GOOD MOTIVATOR....whatever works.

Kelly

Froglet

I like your signature quote.

This subject is very common imho. There's always going to be an approach when it comes to sobriety, especially with changing bad habits.

I have some people I know who aren't alcoholics, but will have a drink during the holidays. It's perhaps less than 4 drinks a year or so. For them, they dont' fear alcohol because they were never consumed by it. They have FULL CONTROL.

For others that suffer the habit like myself, the alcohol is in fact controlling me. This is the worst mindset to be in, and if 'fear' works, then let it be. Though, you have to ask yourself if this is the 'honest' and 'best' approach. When people start to put emphasis on duration as a validation, then that's where trouble comes in. That trend builds pressure and when it cracks, it leads to relapses. Sad to say, much like relationships and marriage. The fallout creates a sense of failure and gives approval to 'not care' again. In some ways, that's what happens when we get over-extended.

I personally would love to have full control, in that I can enjoy a beer or two w/o developing drinking habits. I also would hate to put so much emphasis on sobriety duration. Is one to finally give up drinking forever? Oh well.

I'm fearful for my health and the stupid things I might get myself in when being drunk.

BennyHill

If fear of alcohol keeps you sober, then fear it.
Not sure why so many people have to be so bloody literal about what fear is, or use the old "fear is imaginary" line.
Fear, or respect, will keep you alive. The ocean is nice to look at and swim in, but go out far enough and your day will get bad real quick.
Don't shut yourself in the house and quake at every sound, but stay "switched on".

Congrats on your sobriety, and hope to see you around here for a long time!