Senorita

Day 6, first Saturday. I have managed, though not has happily as I would like, to keep myself busy and alcohol free up until now. I know my husband has been working tons of hours and he will want to have a drink tonight to relax. He has been super supportive and this is my choice and he does not have to follow it. But man, I want a drink to relax too. My impulse wants it so so bad. I am trying to convince myself that I don't want a drink, but I do. All the justifying thoughts are there... its just one, I need to relax after the anxiety all week, no one will know but me, what harm would it do? I want him to enjoy his evening, but, ARGH!! Why does this stink so bad???

onlythetruth

no one will know but me, what harm would it do?

But it's your life, and you're the most important person who COULD know.

Beyond that, you know exactly the harm it would do!

Healthyfood

If I was you I would go to bed. Just get ready to bed. 5-10 min will calm you down. Next morning is new battle.

MycoolFitz

Because early sobriety can be really tough and seemingly unfair. Old tapes you listened to for years still like to be heard. Instead of just hanging on painfully is there something else you can do or somebody you can talk to? Don't let those thoughts suck you in. Posting this was good.

tomdecel

Think of sobriety as a long winding road. Your destination is thousands of miles away, yet you are facing a big rock in the middle of the road at mile 6. Are you going to crash into it over and over again or are you going to find a way to get around it?

Ask yourself what is it that you really want. If what you REALLY want is long lasting sobriety, focus on that and not on the obstacles in front of you. Sounds simple, but I had to reinforce my resolution over and over again in my early days. Keep your eyes on the destination.

recoverywfaith

to SR.

Senorita

Thanks guys :ghug3 ... I guess I should head to AA before we go out tonight. Cant hurt, right?

I want to crawl in a hole (or a bottle).

Ranger

An AA meeting sounds like a fine idea. A little F2F support might be just what the Senorita ordered!

Taking5

Welcome from another 'Bama resident. AA is great for me. Have you ever been to a meeting?

BennyHill

Senorita,

Welcome to Sr.
And if you think you need a meeting, or think about meetings at all, then you should go to one. Or two!

Let your husband have his drink and relax. Take your relaxation in knowing you will still be sober, no battling between the ears, kicking yourself for having that first drink. Just don't drink. There is no such thing as "just one", everyone knows where that road leads.

Go to a meeting, share this experience. Your peers will help if you ask!

Good luck!