NotSureOfMyself

I ended up in detox, and then I didn't drink for 10 days or so. After that I've progressively started drinking again. I'm not drinking to the point that I'm gonna have to detox again but I'm still drinking heavily to the point that I'm worried that I'm gonna compromise my health. I hate doing it but I can't even go to sleep at the end of the day if I don't have at least some alcohol in my system. I've made a lot of accomplishments recently in my life but this is one thing I can't seem to cut out.

I'm 20 and I'm surrounded by alcohol culture, I am aware that I have a major problem. Everyone I know drinks, I'm invited out to drink, I invite people over to drink. It usually leads to a decent time but in the back of my mind I know that I'm killing myself and I'm not in control. Sometimes I make a big fool of myself, I did last night by puking all over a friends stuff after drinking too much too quickly and I was stoned too which I don't normally do. I think the weed put me over the edge but still, I feel like I'm trapped.

CarolD

here is the link to your first shareing with us.....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nctioning.html

For me to actually quit....I had to want to more than I wanted to drink
I so hope you will get to that point soon...
You already know alcohol has caused you many problems ..why continue to drink an addictive toxic liquid?

Welcome back to SR....

ZZworldontheweb

If you're drinking primarily to party, then you really need to change the places and people you hang out with. If you're drinking for a "reason", you need to find out what that is and re-structure your way of thinking to make that thing less important. That's what the famous 12 steps are designed to do. Detoxing is only half... make that 1/10 of the battle. The most important and hardest thing is how not to start again.

Good luck...

NotSureOfMyself

It's both, and it's really hard to get out of. Addiction and mental issues run in both sides of my family, almost all of my friends are the same way to varying degrees, but they are "real" friends we're all human. The "reason" part of it where I'm drinking myself into oblivion is because I don't know. I've had a rough go I guess, I remember a lot of instability and fights and abuse growing up. I haven't dealt with it properly. I'm in the closet in a very backward rural type of area and that hurts a lot, I hurt a lot in general and I guess that's why I do this. I'm an intelligent person who was considered "gifted" at a point but now I'm a high school dropout with a bad work history who's having a really hard time finding a job, so I haven't met my expectation and that screws me up too. People thought that I was gonna be a doctor, now I'm some welfare idiot who can't get by on my own. It hurts a lot.

NotSureOfMyself

Yeah that was rough, a couple weeks before I had to detox. Why drink? I do enjoy myself, its the only way I can a lot of the time. It's just that the bad times seem to come up a lot lately, and the guilt. I am in counseling now but it's not like a real AA program or anything.

artsoul

I really hope you will find a way to say no to alcohol. It's hard when you're that age and all your friends are going out. But you also have the advantage of having your whole life ahead of you - it's not too late to accomplish all the things you'd like to.

It IS a very serious disease, though, and people die every day from it. Do you have any family that can help you? There are resources out there - counselors, rehab centers, AA, etc..... When we're in the midst of our addiction we're depressed and ashamed and many times don't even care about our own lives. It will take more than 10 days, but if stick with sobriety, your thinking will change and your life will be infinitely better.

I'm rooting for you......