pinkfirefly

I'm scared, What if i will never be able to do this, stop drinking. i have been going to counseling and attending a few AA meetings. but stopping drinking just seems so hard. i really do have good intentions of wanting to stop, i really do. but i feel like such a weak person, who lets the alcohol control me. i'm terrified that i may never get in control and be able to stop completely. were you ever at a point where you were truly scared that quitting would never happen for you? and then you did over come it.

artsoul

I was just posting about this on another thread (!). Yes, I felt that I would probably not be able to quit. I had quit before, but for some reason this time my drinking got worse, to the point of having a bottle of wine almost every day. The hangovers got worse, too. On a typical day, I dreaded waking up and I told myself I'd had enough. I wasn't ever going to drink again. The next several hours would be awful and by later in the day I would give in and drink.

It didn't seem to matter what I told myself, I kept drinking. I entertained the thought that this was my fate, but at the same time I really didn't want to lose my house, end up in the hospital, get a DUI, etc..... So I decided to choose sobriety at all costs. I knew it wasn't going to get easier, so why not go ahead and get it all over with?!

I figured I might go crazy, or be terribly unhappy, but then again I knew I could always go to counseling or see a psych if that happened. And I also knew that even if I wasn't completely happy sober, I felt good about being there for my children and doing the right thing.

Those are just a few of the things that went through my mind.......(for what it's worth).

MycoolFitz

What if you CAN stop? I think for awhile I was more afraid of stopping and never drinking again than I was of not being able to stop. I was at a point where I was drinking almost 2 quarts of vodka a day and a couple of bottles of wine. I stopped and after awhile the fear of not drinking again began to transform into a vision of life long sobriety. I'm ever vigilent but the fear has faded. I can't imagine my life without sobriety now. Millions have sought and found sobriety. Its just waiting for you.

Dee74

I think everyone feels that way at first PFF.
I'd drunk for 20 years...it was bound up in who I was and everything I did.

It's hard to change your life - especially when drinking has taken away a lot of your courage and self esteem - thats why I always push support.

When I felt as if I wouldn't be up to the task, I had people to turn to, to help me make it through.

Noone does this alone PFF...keep reaching out for help...keep working hard and moving forward....and don't drink.

That's what I did

D

bigguyslimm

I was scared to stop. I would drink about 6 days a week. I always felt I needed to drink to have a good time, or to hang out with people. Or in my case, to even ride in a car. Last month on June 15th, I decided enough is enough. I'm tired of being sick and feeling this way. I want a better life for me and my wife. I'm now 35 days sober and slowly starting to feel better. I encourage you to do the same. It's for the best. It's scary, but you'll be glad you did. Best of luck.

GettingStronger2

When the pain of life with alcohol becomes worse than the pain of life without it, you will be done. And no matter how scary it may be to quit, you will. You will reach a point where you are desparate enough to quit.

You are young and you know you have a problem with alcohol. If you keep trying, and if you become willing to listen to the advice offered and the experiences shared, you can do it.

NobleCause

I waited far too long to quit because it was too hard, because I wasn't ready, because it didn't feel comfortable, and because I knew no other way of living. And then the heavy stuff came down and I had to do it. It didn't feel any more comfortable and wasn't any easier to do then, but I just did it and kept doing it, even when it sucked and I wanted to drink in the worst possible way. I still struggle on occasion and sometimes it feels like the challenge of my life to keep going, but I do it because I've seen and felt that it's worth it, and because I know what it's like to live the alternative.

Any moment of any day can be your time, you just need to start - lean in to what you're resisting and don't be pushed around by the fear; with time and the correct supports you will grow stronger. Keep doing meetings, keep doing counseling, and do whatever else you have to to not drink. Don't wait till something awful happens that you won't be able to fix.

mercurial me

It only gets worse pff, trust me.

checkmate1

yeah of course I never thought I could give up something that was so ingrained in my life. I used it socially to mix and drank by myself to think. I thought everyone was lying when they said there life is better without the drink.

Ever since I started drinking heavily at 17 I knew I needed to quit. So I moderated, ate healthy and exercised. But the alcohol was the thing I needed to give up and I knew it. So I made a decision to never pick up a drink and put the glass or beer to my mouth no matter what.

It didn't matter if I was anxious having a panic attack, embarassed myself or my pride felt hurt I didn't pick up and that makes the difference. You learn to cope without the crutch. It is all about living in the present and each day you never pick up a drink and it does get easier each day. Give yourself a chance to live a happy and healthy life we all owe it to ourselves.

You have the power not to drink its up to you.

tooling

Alcohol made me feel strong while on it but as it wore off and the next days after it sober(even a week or more sober) I felt very weak. I often tried to quit many times and hardly ever made it past a week into two weeks.

Let's face it - alcohol calls the shots if you put it to your lips.

To be honest with you the only way you are going to quit is if you accept the way you feel sober and know that the hardest is in the beginning. There is no way around it. It's like a tunnel you must go through. There is no cheating or ways around it. Just walk into the tunnel and hold yourself. be scared it's okay. As you get towards the end of the tunnel it might be 1 month or 3 or 6 months. At that point you can open your arms and breath and you won't have to cower down anymore.

Good luck. If i did u can.

indakut

I drank alcohol for over 25 years. As Dee said, it was who I was and was ALWAYS involved in everything I did. I hated being in a fog the next day and not being able to think clearly. Also hated not getting the sleep that I desired at night because I wanted to keep drinking...Let's not even talk about working the next day.:headbang

I have tried many times to quit drinking but have been unsuccessful until now. I could outdrink EVERYONE (6-18 beers or 2 huge bottles of Sutter homes and then the small bottle) and eventually started to enjoy drinking alone. One day, I said I don't wanna do this anymore. I prayed to God what to do and let him know that I wanted to stop. It was difficult but I stayed in the bible and surrounded myself with people who wanted me sober

I hope my story helped you. You can do it!

raindancer11

Hi Pink, great job on the counseling and meetings. Yes, it was very scary to think I wasn't strong enough to quit but it's even more terrifying to think of what would happen if I didn't quit for good. Nothing is worth that. I used to think that these things would never happen to me. I wouldn't let them. Now, I'm sure that I would let them.

Once you cross over that fear, it feels like a large weight has been lifted. Keep going to meetings and post here when you're scared. This site has made a world of difference to me.

unger894

I was afraid that I'd never be able to stop and I was attending addiction counselling as well. I finally went to an MD who prescribed some meds to get me past the first few days and I haven't had a drink since. The accountability of the regular blood tests is what helped me stop although I still see an addiction counsellor regularly.

keithj

Not scared, pink, but absolutely 100% convinced that my life was over and things would never get better, and it all sucked and there was no way it was ever going to change. I believed that I was completely f**ked and there was nothing I could do about it.

And these folks in AA, who had been in that place and had found a way out, shared with me the specific and precise actions they took to recover. I didn't believe it would work for me, but I had nothing to lose. I began the Steps with abandon and a feeling that it didn't matter anyway. I was full of hopelessness.

And just like it happened for them, my relation to life and my place in it started to change. Quickly. By the time I completed the 3rd Step, I still didn't believe it would work, but something had changed. By the time I went into the 9th Step, I was operating on different ground entirely. I've continued to grow in relation to that power keeping me sober and happy, and I've continued to carry the message to others.

I've never had to make the decision to drink or not since that time.

loveon2legs

Alcohol consumed my life for 20 something years....it was who I thought I was....a person who drank.....all the time.....the freedom of not needing alcohol is so wonderful I can't even imagine ever drinking again... It takes effort..and patience and alot of soul searching...one thing is, you just can't give up on yourself!! never!!! keep reaching out for help...because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!

TheEnd

It wasn't so much of not being able to stop as it was wanting to stop. I feared that I didn't want to stop drinking, and when I stopped drinking, I feared that I wouldn't want to continue sobriety. Stopping is not impossible Pink, other people have done it, you're not terminally unique. You can stop too, you just have to want it bad enough.

SSIL75

This was me too. Honestly I never felt UNABLE to quit, just unwilling.

Terminally Unique

GS2 is correct, and it took what it took for me to quit. Unfortunately, when that time comes, it won't necessarily be any easier to quit than right now. In fact, it may be far more difficult. What I learned once I had the proper motivation (pain, loss, etc) and was essentially forced to quit, is that I was entirely capable of quitting, but had been unwilling to do so.

You do not have to wait for that to happen, however. Cut your losses. It will never be easier to quit than right now.