Ninety in Ninety: I got there in the end!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Ninety in Ninety: I got there in the end!
Well, last night I went to an AA meeting and picked up my three month chip. In fact, I had been sober for 91 days. I am incredibly grateful and I thought it might be helpful to share parts of the experience here in case this helps others.
I had been going to AA quite regularly for about 18 months but had a major relapse in April which carried severe consequences. As a result, I redoubled my efforts to get sober properly and stay sober.
In my first day of sobriety I went to a church and went down on my knees and prayed to God for forgiveness and help. In fact, the following day, I wrote a similar prayer and pinned it onto the board in another church. But I want to emphasise that God did not wave a magic wand to perform his miracle. There was a process involved.
First up was asking a friend in AA to be my new sponsor and being completely honest with him about my situation. This friend had been encouraging me for a long time to go to an addiction specialist for therapy and I finally accepted that it would be helpful. I thought it would be expensive and it has been but this is nothing compared to the amount my habit was costing me.
I also decided, with my sponsor's encouragement, to go to an AA meeting every day and join and share where possible. Every day included Saturday and Sunday and double meetings when my schedule allowed. The aim was 90 in 90. It was actually about 85 in 90, or if I carry on going, as intend to, 90 in 95.
I also spoke regularly to other people in the Fellowship and of course, I used SR for support.
The next part of the process was dealing with unresolved issues which threatened to bring back into depression which I could be tempted to resolve by drinking. This included
- Opening all bills and trying to address all unpaid debts
- Talking frankly to my line manager at work about my problem and my recovery programme
- Changing the locks on the front door of my flat
- Fixing the heating system in my flat
- Avoiding at all times visits to local bars, alone or in the company of other people who were not likely to support my recovery.
I also increased contact with my parents who have been supportive of my recovery. In fact, everyone I have reached out to for help has been supportive.
There have been difficult things. Facing the SCALE of the problem has been frightening and I am still not sure I have really grasped it. Hopefully, working through Steps Four and Five in the AA programme will help in that regard.
It has also been very difficult to end a relationship which I had begun before I got sober but I can now see that it was not the right thing for me. I have often felt lonely and had a lot of anxiety about my value as a person because I don't have a romantic relationship at the moment. But I do know that the other benefits of recovery more than compensate for that for now. And I can't see how having a drink would help me to have romantic success - quite the opposite, in fact.
Everybody follows their own spiritual path. But I would say that for me, regular attendance at church, regular Bible study, prayer and meditation have been of immense value. Somebody said in AA last night that alcoholism is a "spiritual and moral disease". I find it hard to disagree.
It works, this stuff. But it takes patience. Endless Patience.
I had been going to AA quite regularly for about 18 months but had a major relapse in April which carried severe consequences. As a result, I redoubled my efforts to get sober properly and stay sober.
In my first day of sobriety I went to a church and went down on my knees and prayed to God for forgiveness and help. In fact, the following day, I wrote a similar prayer and pinned it onto the board in another church. But I want to emphasise that God did not wave a magic wand to perform his miracle. There was a process involved.
First up was asking a friend in AA to be my new sponsor and being completely honest with him about my situation. This friend had been encouraging me for a long time to go to an addiction specialist for therapy and I finally accepted that it would be helpful. I thought it would be expensive and it has been but this is nothing compared to the amount my habit was costing me.
I also decided, with my sponsor's encouragement, to go to an AA meeting every day and join and share where possible. Every day included Saturday and Sunday and double meetings when my schedule allowed. The aim was 90 in 90. It was actually about 85 in 90, or if I carry on going, as intend to, 90 in 95.
I also spoke regularly to other people in the Fellowship and of course, I used SR for support.
The next part of the process was dealing with unresolved issues which threatened to bring back into depression which I could be tempted to resolve by drinking. This included
- Opening all bills and trying to address all unpaid debts
- Talking frankly to my line manager at work about my problem and my recovery programme
- Changing the locks on the front door of my flat
- Fixing the heating system in my flat
- Avoiding at all times visits to local bars, alone or in the company of other people who were not likely to support my recovery.
I also increased contact with my parents who have been supportive of my recovery. In fact, everyone I have reached out to for help has been supportive.
There have been difficult things. Facing the SCALE of the problem has been frightening and I am still not sure I have really grasped it. Hopefully, working through Steps Four and Five in the AA programme will help in that regard.
It has also been very difficult to end a relationship which I had begun before I got sober but I can now see that it was not the right thing for me. I have often felt lonely and had a lot of anxiety about my value as a person because I don't have a romantic relationship at the moment. But I do know that the other benefits of recovery more than compensate for that for now. And I can't see how having a drink would help me to have romantic success - quite the opposite, in fact.
Everybody follows their own spiritual path. But I would say that for me, regular attendance at church, regular Bible study, prayer and meditation have been of immense value. Somebody said in AA last night that alcoholism is a "spiritual and moral disease". I find it hard to disagree.
It works, this stuff. But it takes patience. Endless Patience.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Good stuff EP...
and you're right, there's a lot for us to do.
there's no magic wand.........but then again, there's no reason to hope for one - the further you go in to recovery and the AA program, the more grateful you'll be for the difficulties along the way. (heh.....don't get me wrong, when I'm IN those difficulties, I can't usually tell ya' I'm grateful. lol).
Keep up the good work, keep up the willingness.....and keep seeking. Don't you dare settle for half-as* recovery.....go for the WHOLE deal, yanno?
and you're right, there's a lot for us to do.
there's no magic wand.........but then again, there's no reason to hope for one - the further you go in to recovery and the AA program, the more grateful you'll be for the difficulties along the way. (heh.....don't get me wrong, when I'm IN those difficulties, I can't usually tell ya' I'm grateful. lol).
Keep up the good work, keep up the willingness.....and keep seeking. Don't you dare settle for half-as* recovery.....go for the WHOLE deal, yanno?
Contented
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 124
Nice... Congratulations and welcome back. Yeah, it does take time. Recovery doesn't happen overnight; it is a process.
Surround yourself with a strong network and follow your path - and may your journey always be downhill.....
Surround yourself with a strong network and follow your path - and may your journey always be downhill.....
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