On the edge...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 13
On the edge...
My what I call sober days are flying by now, twenty to be exact and I'm doing worse now then I was in the begining.
Everything makes me want to drink; driving past bars, neon beer signs in gas station windows, marquee signs at grocery stores, even going to my moms camper today. I'm also starting to get my headaches back that I used to cure with a beer.
Tonight I'm home alone and I'm at the lowest of my low of wanting a drink. I think mostly because no one is home or coming home tonight and it's like it could be my dirty little secret no one would even know. The only thing that is stopping me is my boyfriend admitted himself to a twenty eight day treatment center the other day and I need to be strong not only for myself but for him, I don't want to be a hypocrite.
Please let me know if my post is crossing a line, it just makes me feel better to talk about it.
Everything makes me want to drink; driving past bars, neon beer signs in gas station windows, marquee signs at grocery stores, even going to my moms camper today. I'm also starting to get my headaches back that I used to cure with a beer.
Tonight I'm home alone and I'm at the lowest of my low of wanting a drink. I think mostly because no one is home or coming home tonight and it's like it could be my dirty little secret no one would even know. The only thing that is stopping me is my boyfriend admitted himself to a twenty eight day treatment center the other day and I need to be strong not only for myself but for him, I don't want to be a hypocrite.
Please let me know if my post is crossing a line, it just makes me feel better to talk about it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 113
think about how great you're going to feel waking up tomorrow knowing you duked it out with the desire and won.
you're not 'doing worse' - the cravings have just got stronger, because the part of you that craves drink at the expense of everything is realising this time you're serious. that's like a compliment, not something you're 'doing wrong' or doing badly at.
i know it sucks and words are easy but just find other things to distract you and don't give up.
you're not 'doing worse' - the cravings have just got stronger, because the part of you that craves drink at the expense of everything is realising this time you're serious. that's like a compliment, not something you're 'doing wrong' or doing badly at.
i know it sucks and words are easy but just find other things to distract you and don't give up.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Abd,
Alcoholism is such a complicated disease! For me, once I fully accepted that I could not have even one drink and that drinking was not an option, it got easier. I keep sobriety related books close. SR is a great place to come visit to ride out those cravings.
Keep reading and posting!
Love,
Lenina
Alcoholism is such a complicated disease! For me, once I fully accepted that I could not have even one drink and that drinking was not an option, it got easier. I keep sobriety related books close. SR is a great place to come visit to ride out those cravings.
Keep reading and posting!
Love,
Lenina
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
I found support was really important for me. My life was so centred on drinking for such a long time that things did actually seem to get worse for me newly sober before they got better.
Please do hang in there tho - cravings can be negotiated and beaten...and it will get easier
what are you doing for support abd?
D
Please do hang in there tho - cravings can be negotiated and beaten...and it will get easier
what are you doing for support abd?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 13
Thank you everyone! Right now this is the only place I really receive any support.... I plan on going to AA meetings eventually if I can find the time, I usually work nights so its hard. Avoided thinking about alcohol tonight by cleaning and browsing around on here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
ABD
Well, ...Welcome to SR !!
I'm one of those people working nights too. This site has folks from Australia and all over, really, that have helped me stay sober the last 15 months. While most everyone with day jobs in N. America are sound asleep, the suns already up Down Under. Thank Goodness !
The face-to-face support from like minded people in AA has been invaluable for me. Whatever support system you can find; ....put your whole heart and soul in it.
Congrats on your 20 days !
.....and thanks for posting; that helps us all.
Well, ...Welcome to SR !!
I'm one of those people working nights too. This site has folks from Australia and all over, really, that have helped me stay sober the last 15 months. While most everyone with day jobs in N. America are sound asleep, the suns already up Down Under. Thank Goodness !
The face-to-face support from like minded people in AA has been invaluable for me. Whatever support system you can find; ....put your whole heart and soul in it.
Congrats on your 20 days !
.....and thanks for posting; that helps us all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Originally Posted by DoubtfulDebs 
think about how great you're going to feel waking up tomorrow knowing you duked it out with the desire and won.
you're not 'doing worse' - the cravings have just got stronger, because the part of you that craves drink at the expense of everything is realising this time you're serious. that's like a compliment, not something you're 'doing wrong' or doing badly at.
i know it sucks and words are easy but just find other things to distract you and don't give up.
you're not 'doing worse' - the cravings have just got stronger, because the part of you that craves drink at the expense of everything is realising this time you're serious. that's like a compliment, not something you're 'doing wrong' or doing badly at.
i know it sucks and words are easy but just find other things to distract you and don't give up.
To the OP..it does get better. I can't lie and say it goes away totally (not for me yet), but you learn to ride the 'wave of crave' as I call it. Sometimes they just come out the blue, but instead of getting panicky and feeling tempted, I can now acknowledge it and move on. It DOES get better.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
By now...your cravings are mental not physical but I know they canstill be a problem. As long as you remain sober...they really will lessen,,,
It took me about 2 months to get back in mental physical balance. Well done on your sober time!
about your headaches...please check with your doctor...perhaps ask for an eye exam?
When I worked nights ...I found an early a.m. meeting that met daily.
I'd zip in there...relax..recharge my focus and go home to sleep.
Good to see you here with us Welcome..
It took me about 2 months to get back in mental physical balance. Well done on your sober time!
about your headaches...please check with your doctor...perhaps ask for an eye exam?
When I worked nights ...I found an early a.m. meeting that met daily.
I'd zip in there...relax..recharge my focus and go home to sleep.
Good to see you here with us Welcome..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by abd112
Thank you everyone! Right now this is the only place I really receive any support.... I plan on going to AA meetings eventually if I can find the time, I usually work nights so its hard. Avoided thinking about alcohol tonight by cleaning and browsing around on here.
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