Not enjoying myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Not enjoying myself.
The last thing I want to do is trigger anyone to use but it's almost 60 days, I've done step one and I'm sitting here on a Saturday night after reading parts of the BB bored out of my mind. I have no desire to do anything and the women's AA group today was just BLA. If my husband wasn't sitting here I'd be drinking by now. I'm just not seeing any benefit to these boring sober weekends. Again, sorry if this bothers anyone but it's truly how I feel. In fact part of me wishes my husband would just go away so I could have fun. Ugh! That's all, just had to get this off my mind. Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
1undone,
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I make gratitude lists to help me stay out of funks. I don't know about you but my last memories of drinking for me weren't a good time. I have over three years now.
What do you do for fun? I sorta forgot how to have fun or amuse myself. I had to relearn what I enjoyed. I read, talk with friends about things we find interesting.
Do you get exercise? I really enjoy walking around my neighborhood. My neighbors have some interesting gardens, this time of year so many things are blooming!
I hope you don't drink. It's just not worth it and Im betting it's not a good way to break up boredom.
Love,
Lenina
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I make gratitude lists to help me stay out of funks. I don't know about you but my last memories of drinking for me weren't a good time. I have over three years now.
What do you do for fun? I sorta forgot how to have fun or amuse myself. I had to relearn what I enjoyed. I read, talk with friends about things we find interesting.
Do you get exercise? I really enjoy walking around my neighborhood. My neighbors have some interesting gardens, this time of year so many things are blooming!
I hope you don't drink. It's just not worth it and Im betting it's not a good way to break up boredom.
Love,
Lenina
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
I think it's pretty clear I've forgotten how to have fun. 
. Not much aside from the Internet and reading can really keep my attention. I do have to say that I'm happy when my sponsor and I hang out and I have a couple new sober people I hang with but they are struggling too so I limit that.
I'm just super irritable as well. I have an MD appt in August but typically when you tell them you have a problem they throw pills at it. I'm just feeling like what's the point. I am also holding onto that maybe tomorrow will be better?
I swim for the most part this time of year due to heat and humidity but I think I'd like to try some Yoga. My mind is just all over right now. Really I should just go to bed.
. Not much aside from the Internet and reading can really keep my attention. I do have to say that I'm happy when my sponsor and I hang out and I have a couple new sober people I hang with but they are struggling too so I limit that.I'm just super irritable as well. I have an MD appt in August but typically when you tell them you have a problem they throw pills at it. I'm just feeling like what's the point. I am also holding onto that maybe tomorrow will be better?
I swim for the most part this time of year due to heat and humidity but I think I'd like to try some Yoga. My mind is just all over right now. Really I should just go to bed.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here is a list compiled by others awhile ago...hope something will spark your interest ..
150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking
1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.
__________________
1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.
__________________
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
1undone,
Sounds like you're doing positive things. It could be a medical problem. You might ask your doctor to check your hormone levels and your thyroid. Seems my thyroid isn't working so I was given thyroid replacement meds. I've been referred out so I am hoping for an appointment.
Be sure to let your doctors know you're in recovery. It will help get a diagnosis. How's your diet? I take some vitamins ands herbal supplements with my doctors approval. I think my body chemistry was thrown off from drinking and not eating right.
Stick around SR! as you know, its a great resource.
Love,
Lenina
Sounds like you're doing positive things. It could be a medical problem. You might ask your doctor to check your hormone levels and your thyroid. Seems my thyroid isn't working so I was given thyroid replacement meds. I've been referred out so I am hoping for an appointment.
Be sure to let your doctors know you're in recovery. It will help get a diagnosis. How's your diet? I take some vitamins ands herbal supplements with my doctors approval. I think my body chemistry was thrown off from drinking and not eating right.
Stick around SR! as you know, its a great resource.
Love,
Lenina
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
60 days was rough for me too but I remember it getting better from then 
This link may be useful reading too:
PAWS « Digital Dharma
D
This link may be useful reading too:
PAWS « Digital Dharma
D
DOS: 11/6/10
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
I too recall being "over" the whole sobriety "thing"... I felt like I was never going to have fun again. I have been on medication for depression for several years, but it wasn't until 4 months of solid sobriety did they begin to work; I was subverting myself with my drinking, thinking the temporary high of drinking would make me happy, when really- I'm SO much more content now- happy even- and I get things done, and my life is so much better than it was.
Now, for the reality... For a large part of my recovery, I didn't enjoy it either. My 4th step was HARD work, and writing everything down was an unbearable chore; both because I'm a much better typist, and because writing down the truth of my shortcomings was as much fun as a root canal. Recovery is hard work at times... but like medicine, if we don't do the work or take the medicine as prescribed, we don't get better. Just because I'm happy now doesn't mean it's been sunshine and roses since day 1.
I love the list posted above... I see something new every time it's posted and it's kept me out of trouble more than once. This is just my experience, but the best thing I have done for myself, my husband and my life is to tell myself "no" to alcohol, even when it seems like there is no point to it. When I have trouble doing this, I call my sponsor or tell my (closest) friends not to "let" me drink. ***note: this doesn't "work" in the way it sounds like. My friends are not responsible for me, and can't stop me from doing anything and nor would I really ask them to. What I am doing is adding a layer of culpability for myself; by telling on myself it makes it that much harder to do something stupid.***
Sending good thoughts your way and hoping you stay the path... it really is worth it.
Now, for the reality... For a large part of my recovery, I didn't enjoy it either. My 4th step was HARD work, and writing everything down was an unbearable chore; both because I'm a much better typist, and because writing down the truth of my shortcomings was as much fun as a root canal. Recovery is hard work at times... but like medicine, if we don't do the work or take the medicine as prescribed, we don't get better. Just because I'm happy now doesn't mean it's been sunshine and roses since day 1.
I love the list posted above... I see something new every time it's posted and it's kept me out of trouble more than once. This is just my experience, but the best thing I have done for myself, my husband and my life is to tell myself "no" to alcohol, even when it seems like there is no point to it. When I have trouble doing this, I call my sponsor or tell my (closest) friends not to "let" me drink. ***note: this doesn't "work" in the way it sounds like. My friends are not responsible for me, and can't stop me from doing anything and nor would I really ask them to. What I am doing is adding a layer of culpability for myself; by telling on myself it makes it that much harder to do something stupid.***
Sending good thoughts your way and hoping you stay the path... it really is worth it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Well, I woke and still feel funky but I'm meeting my sponsor this morning and I'm going to talk about last night. We are going to go over my writings of step one AGAIN. And move on to step two. Problem with that is I don't think I'm ready and that is another layer to my bla - ness. I don't have a HP and the more I read about it the less hope I have that AA will work for me. . This just has me really messed up.
. This just has me really messed up.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by 1undone 
Well, I woke and still feel funky but I'm meeting my sponsor this morning and I'm going to talk about last night. We are going to go over my writings of step one AGAIN. And move on to step two. Problem with that is I don't think I'm ready and that is another layer to my bla - ness. I don't have a HP and the more I read about it the less hope I have that AA will work for me. . This just has me really messed up.
. This just has me really messed up.Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
As others have said, 60-90 days can be a tough stretch. Your brain is screaming for alcohol and its telling you the only way to have fun is to drink.
For me, this subsided at about the 90 day mark and my outlook on life and what fun really means began to clear up.
You have accomplished a lot now - The hard work is not over but the results will be very much worth it!
Dave
For me, this subsided at about the 90 day mark and my outlook on life and what fun really means began to clear up.
You have accomplished a lot now - The hard work is not over but the results will be very much worth it!
Dave
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 49
Like others have said... the first few months can be really difficult. They were a tough time for me, too, because I'd never learned how to have fun without alcohol. It's a process, learning how to live a sober life. Don't be so rough on yourself -- no one is expecting you to change in a heartbeat!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here is a link with Secular methods...AA may or may not be for you
but please find something that allows you a healthy non drinking future...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cular-web.html
but please find something that allows you a healthy non drinking future...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cular-web.html
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
1Undone,
That Higher Power thing. All that is required is a willingness to believe in a power greater than yourself. The second step question is "Do I now believe or am I even willing to believe in a power greater than myself?" If you can say "yes", then you have completed step two. That power can be the AA group, Good Orderly Direction, Group of Drunks, Goodness, Love, Karma, etc. As long as it is a power greater than yourself and a power that makes sense to you, that is all that is necessary. There are plenty of agnostics and atheists who have successfully found recovery in AA. A Higher Power is no barrier although there are lots of folks who use it as an excuse. Then again, AA has no monopoly on recovery, and you might want to check out the forum Carol listed.
Susan
That Higher Power thing. All that is required is a willingness to believe in a power greater than yourself. The second step question is "Do I now believe or am I even willing to believe in a power greater than myself?" If you can say "yes", then you have completed step two. That power can be the AA group, Good Orderly Direction, Group of Drunks, Goodness, Love, Karma, etc. As long as it is a power greater than yourself and a power that makes sense to you, that is all that is necessary. There are plenty of agnostics and atheists who have successfully found recovery in AA. A Higher Power is no barrier although there are lots of folks who use it as an excuse. Then again, AA has no monopoly on recovery, and you might want to check out the forum Carol listed.
Susan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Hp
I am willing to believe that their is a HP beyond what I understand because if I were to disappear tomorrow that would completely change the order of things (future). Some would say that's all science but I look at things from a nature - nurture point of view. I think I can handle step two. But when I get to step three, now this might be a bit more of a stretch. I'm willing to keep an open mind and see what evolves though; I have nothing to lose anyway.
Tonight I go to a smaller AA women's group so I am hoping I won't have to hear a bunch of unrelated BS and the moderator will keep things on topic. I'll say no more.... LOL
Tonight I go to a smaller AA women's group so I am hoping I won't have to hear a bunch of unrelated BS and the moderator will keep things on topic. I'll say no more.... LOL
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
1undone, the ability to find joy in the little things does come back over time. Don't forget that alcohol hits the dopamine (pleasure centers) of the brain a lot more directly. You have AA to help with the spiritual side of the equation so you have all the bases covered. If it doesn't improve you can always see a Doctor for depression if you think it's necessary.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Well, I woke and still feel funky but I'm meeting my sponsor this morning and I'm going to talk about last night.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by 1undone
...I think I can handle step two. But when I get to step three, now this might be a bit more of a stretch.
Came to believe....
So it's not suggesting that you need to have this belief in your back pocket right now, it happens over time. I found that as time went on and I was able to stay sober, made new friends, regained self respect, did the next right thing... I was able to look back and realize - this was actually working for me, and I was actually becoming a "sober person", not some fraud lurking at the back of the meeting. But it takes time, and patience was not my strong suit during my drinking days, it took awhile for me to relax and accept the pace that my recovery took.Hang in there, 1undone - this does work. It just takes time and a willingness to trust in the process.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi 1-
As I worked through the steps, I changed, thus, my idea of fun changed.
Getting selfishly drunk and engaging in bad behavior is no longer fun for me.
Keep up your good work and trust in the process. Some of it's gonna hurt, some of it's gonna be boring, and some of it's gonna be scary.
Do it anyway. How you feel really isn't of that much importance. It's what you do that matters.
Kjell~
As I worked through the steps, I changed, thus, my idea of fun changed.
Getting selfishly drunk and engaging in bad behavior is no longer fun for me.
Keep up your good work and trust in the process. Some of it's gonna hurt, some of it's gonna be boring, and some of it's gonna be scary.
Do it anyway. How you feel really isn't of that much importance. It's what you do that matters.
Kjell~
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