H2O

Hey, I know many people suffer from alcoholism but I feel like AA was hard for me because I was always one of the youngest people in the group and couldn't relate directly to anyone else.

Most people my age believe drinking is a normal part of life and partying is just expected. I've been suffering from alcoholism since I was 15 and its destroying every part of my life. I was just wondering if there was anyone else out there that's having a hard time dealing with friends that expect you to go to the bars and feeling so alone because at 21 years old everyone I should be having fun with friends and enjoying college.

I've ended up in the hospital more than once due to alcohol, destroyed a lot of relationships and hurt many people that I love. I need to quit drinking to save my life and it feels impossible because I have to drop all my friends and sit at home alone while everyone else is out partying.

Its Saturday night and I was invited to go to a club downtown, to a party in the city and my best friends birthday party at the bar...I know I can't go because I'm not strong enough to say no to alcohol, but its so frustrating! I hate sitting at home feeling all alone...

anyone else in the same boat?

Dee74

we had a youth thread here for a while...maybe it's time to start one up again?

I'm a long way past youth but I was living as one - I was utterly convinced everyone drank and that the only way to socialise involved bars, or at least alcohol.

That's just not true, and I know that now

I had to drop a lot of friends and I had to change my social scene completely - but I found new friends and new sober ways to enjoy myself.

It took a lot more energy to find new friends and new things to do, especially in the beginning, than just going to a bar - but it's been absolutely worth it for me.

D

Taking5

There are AA groups specifically for you people. ISCYPAA.org

I went to a meeting in Newport Beach where the average age is 30 and I felt like I was an old fart!

sapperdude

H20,

I know exactly what you are talking about. I am 25 and trying to work my way through many of the same concerns. In the past I've tried limiting myself when going out but have finally realized I can't and seem to always drink to oblivion.

billsaintjames

H20, I dealt with a lot of the same issues as you. I am 24 and have been sober for nearly 6 months. I had a hard time taking my sobriety in college seriously, because every single person I surrounded myself with was a drinker and/or druggie.

It wasn't until after I finished college that I realized how many non-users there are in the world. That is a very, very difficult concept to grasp while in college.

My advice to you is to read as much as you can about addiction, and if possible, join a therapy group that discusses addiction. It is likely that your university's health center has a group.

CarolD

By the time I quit....my entire social circle consisted of drinkers.
regardless of age...I think that is usual for many alcholics ..especially un married ones.
People tend to hang around with those who approve of whtever action one is doing...

I found an AA group that met daily...full of mostly singles and we did all sorts of interesting things outside of meetings. We had a sober blast...
That is the fellowship part of AA.

The AA program is the Steps. Early on I thought of our meetings as classrooms for learning how to live sober andenjoy it.
Now I can mentor others...and that is such a awesome thing to do.. I'm so glad to see young people come in our doors.

AA is not the only way to live sober...I so hope everyone finds freedom and joy with whatever method they choose...

babycat

When I was in my early 20s, all my friends partied pretty much daily with me. Then, suddenly, everyone grew up, got grown up jobs, and were able to control their drinking. But not me. I felt (and still feel) like I had missed the maturity train or something.
Now, at 28, I am pissed off that I am the only one of my friends who has a real problem. Why were they able to turn the switch off but not me?
It is really hard at that age to find non-drinking friends. Wish I had more to offer.

Draciack

This kind of reminds me of a Tuesdays with Morrie quote: If the culture around you isn't good for you, build your own.

Is that easy? Heck no. I'm 23 and even the most driven, normal, straight-laced people I know drink / smoke / go to shows / stay out until 3:30 AM on Fridays, etc. Generally, that's just how it is. They're not bad people, drunks, or addicts; they're just young and that's the culture.

But, hey, I hang out with them sometimes and spend the rest of my time doing I job I like, pursuing a Master's degree (MFA this fall, baby ), helping others, or writing. It's not the normal thing, I guess, but it works for me and I never feel like I have to put myself in bad situations just to meet friends or hang out with people from support groups just to have someone to talk to.

As far as meeting people through AA, my experience has been not so good. AA has a small youth population in my city and even among our group we come from disparate backgrounds with little in common aside from addiction. My first year, I made the mistake of pushing relationships in AA because I felt I needed "bond with the fellowship" when I really needed to recover from alcoholism, and the results ended badly.

Anyway, I won't blow smoke at you - this was one of the most difficult issues for me. But good luck and keep us posted. Young people who are successful in recovering from alcoholism are really inspirational to those starting out.

RaiseAnchor

I drank underage, but not often. I think the first time I had gotten drunk I was 16. At age 21 I began to drink heavily (stopping for a six pack most nights after work, sometimes 12...).

I'm 24, but it was around the time I turned 23 that I realized I was living in excess and I wanted to stop being unkind to my body. I was being conflicting toward my beliefs of living frugally as well. It was a bit of a struggle to deter myself from picking up a six pack, and sometimes it still is.

I guess at times I felt that the six pack made my time alone more interesting, or maybe I would 'find myself' through drinking. Some of my favorite authors drank heavily. Alcohol is an easy way to avoid living with yourself, and I believe that's what I was trying to get away from. I hated my job, I just wanted to be alone most of the time.

In some ways I believe it's the social pressures of being young that make abstaining seem like such a struggle. But I realize I have drank before, I've experienced it a little too much, and it's not helping me move forward in any way. Can I go out and just have one drink? Yeah, I could do that, but what's the point?

Now I run, I play Tennis. Now I am very conscious about what I put inside of my body. Diet and exercise don't guarantee long lasting health, but it feels good to be good to yourself. All those nights chugging beers just made me sort of hate myself and write crappy poetry. Turned me into a mean person.
That's not really me, mate.

Linz

Same boat, yes, for sure. Even my boyfriend of 2 years, who has caught some repercussions because of MY insane drinking habit doesn't want me to quit altogether. How insane is that? One of the main things that has and is breaking our relationship down... and he still doesn't want me to quit it completely. Why not? I am 25, have been drinking since, let's just say 20 or so, have dropped out of colleges because of it, almost lost jobs because of it, ruined relationships over it, etc... He doesn't want me to quit it because I am 25, and that's "what people who are 25 do."
Socializing in this town is almost always based around liquid. Morning - coffee, afternoon - beers, evenings - beers, night time - beers. It is so annoying and difficult, it makes me so confused. Or, I'm confused already, alcohol just fuels the confusion. The boyfriend really doesn't understand. I hear him say things such as, "Well you just stay sober for the week and then this weekend when we hang out with _____ and _____ you can get **** faced, but slowly... you need to learn how to drink your drinks slowly." Then I think, "wow... after 2 years and you STILL don't get it." Well of course not, how could he?
This "disease" or whatever the heck you wanna call it is a *******. It's choking up my life and I allow it to.

Anyhow, good luck with it. I'm not one to give advice because I cannot even go a day without it. This stinks.

Spawn

Do you have any friends that don't party?
Maybe you just need new friends?
Because a true friend would support you on your choice not to drink.

Froglet

Age is nothing more but a reflection of what someone 'might've' gone through. At that age range (the one you mentioned), you are given some slack, but it's true to generalize becase statistics show a trend. That trend indicates a large portion of adolescents tampering w/ drugs and alcohol.

True friends realize your problem and are there to slap you in the face. They are the ones that should understand and accomodate for your sake. Those that do not are just like the many other acquaintences in this world. I sometimes feel more support here than w/ my other physical contacts.

The main thing though is to be true and do what's right. Don't even fall into pressure of what someone else is doing. The scary part is when you fly solo into the land of the oblivion.

I used to be afraid of missing out, but overtime I grew more independent, introverted and isolated. I still go out w/ very close friends, and sometimes bigger groups. But deep down, I found time being spent w/ real people to be much more rewarding than trying to 'pretend' to be social and take some fake pictures for social networking sites that are empty at the core.