ResearchGuy

Hi all,

I drink about 6-8 beers several days a week. I have been drinking on a consistent basis for about 2.5 years now. I usually do the right thing for weeks in a row and then I completely blow it for about the same time. I make excuses like I had a good day at work or other things. It has now come to a point where I have totally isolated myself and it is holding me back in my personal life. I need to lose weight, so this drinking thing has destroyed my confidence because I can't lose the 30 pounds I need to look better. My career is fine, but I beat myself up because I think how I look detracts from any other accomplishments.

I know thousands have been in my position. The isolation, lack of confidence, etc. I don't want to tell my family so that is not an option. They have all been through some sort of this in their lives and each one persevered. Now it is my turn. I need to figure this out on my own.

Any good stories out there about people who have been in the dumps and made it through? I have not hit rock bottom because I haven't gotten a DUI (I don't drive, just stay home) or done anything else that would be a wake-up call. I just know this is about my rock bottom because of the poor self esteem and not being able to pursue my dream, which is to have a wife and kid. My career doesn't mean a whole lot to me right now because I go home to no one and I don't have anyone to spend time with on the nights/weekends.

Any thoughts would be appreciated. I feel like I can do it this time.

ResearchGuy

Supercrew

First of all, there is no such thing as "try", you either do or don't.

This is a repost from earlier in the week.

I have to say the journey of a year has seen tremendous changes in my life. I logged on here hungover as a dog, and I had the feeling of powerlessness and I needed support after being a binge drinker/hardcore yet functional alcoholic for the better part of 27 years.

Not only was I able to receive the support I needed I also learned that there are many paths to recovery. I deeply entrenched myself on this forum for hours a day, and in my time away from the forum I was reading and researching to find out why I drank the way I did and why I couldn't control my drinking.

I was able to find the answers to my issues, and learned why my brain reacts differently to alcohol. Then I started a regimented workout program which included a healthy diet and supplements. I, like many, also developed a sweet tooth for the first few months while I was white knuckling through the initial stages of abstinence.

After about 60 days my mindset changed from "I can't drink ever again", to "I don't want to drink ever again, and I like being sober". Once I was able to change my subconscious mind to believe that I don't want to drink is when I got the advantage in the battle. I still had to take action everyday, and I was aware of want I didn't want, (drinking), but I was focused on what I wanted, (sobriety, happiness and self improvement).

As I came to the forum daily I felt stronger and stronger, and I became outspoken on my method of being strong willed and focused, and I was told by a few here that I must not be a "real alcoholic", and it played with my mind a little. So at about 118 days sober I thought I was strong enough to test myself. The test had no result, I didn't continue drinking, I didn't get buzzed and I didn't enjoy it. But it opened the door for me to relax and lose my focus on what I really wanted, (sobriety and happiness). I tested myself about 6 times, over 2 month period all with the same results.

To make a long story short I ended up going on a 10 bender during the holidays, and I ended up in the ER detoxing. This was very scary and I thought I was going to die. But by testing myself that last time I received that answer that I wanted. I don't care who thinks I'm an alcoholic or a problem drinker or a heavy drinker, all I know is I never want to drink again, and sobriety equals happiness.

I now have about 190 days under my belt, and I have been abstinent for about 350 of the last 365 days. I am now committed to a sober life and I am loving every second of it. Yes, I still have to deal with life's issues, but I have found they are handled much better with a clear mind and a healthy body.

Some of the great changes that have occurred over the last year are I lost about 25 lbs, and I am in the best shape since I was in my early 20's, (I'm in my early 40's). I am no longer depressed, which I had been for the last 10 years. My marriage is stronger than ever, and my relationships with my friends and family are truly rewarding. I am now known in my circles as the sober positive guy who wants to talk about self improvement and coaching and peak performance in life, instead of the drunk party guy who never knew when to stop or when to leave.

I am now focused on living life to the fullest and making each day my masterpiece! Thank you SR!

CarolD

Welcome to sR...

when I decided to quit...I joined a local AA group and I've stayed involved in the program for many sucessfful years.....
When I wanted to lose weight...I started eating healthy foods and walked often..

Both improved my self esteem and became easier the longer I stayed with them.:..

Terminally Unique

I suppose what I used to do once upon a time would be considered binge drinking. That is, I would get royally hammered a few days a week until I passed out. Eventually, this became a nightly occurrence, which lasted for many years. As a result of what I considered a major loss, however, I started drinking even more, and I went for almost two years drinking whiskey all day every day, often without eating.

By the end, I was completely isolated, depressed to the point of wanting to end it all, but I still drank. It gave me a few hours of respite, but eventually I was sick far more often than not. I would drink, pass out, wake up, throw up, drink some more. It was horrible, and I saw no way out. I realized it came down to suicide or quitting, as I was becoming horrifically depressed, and it was obvious to me that my body probably could not take much more abuse before giving in.

I quit, on my own, though it did take a few start/stop cycles for me to "get it" - the first few times I couldn't ride out the depression and insomnia for long without caving. I tried AA for years, too, and while that helped somewhat, it didn't really stick for me. Eventually, though, I started using Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) from Rational Recovery, and I was able to ride out the daily cravings, which lasted for a few months.

I still get the occasional thoughts to drink, but they are nowhere near as bad as during those first three months. I'm not saying it will be easy, but you can do this.

checkmate1

6-8 beers several times a week for 2.5 years can turn into 12-14 beers several times a week very quickly. I was a big beer drinker too and when I quit 74 days ago I lost that fat bloated look in my face and stomach and I've lost 6kg of beer weight also. I feel alot more confident now that I've lost a bit of weight. If you can't talk to anyone about it best thing to do is find an AA meeting where people understand what your going through as Carol said.