Rift

hey everybody and happy 4th!

I hate to come on here and bring a negative vibe on the fourth, but I have been thinking about some things. I want to just up and move away on a whim.

I hate the job that i have. I hate my coworkers with a passion. I'm miserable. I hate my life. Now I know that leaving will not solve all my problems, but I feel like I need to get out of this place.(nothing alcohol related really)

My family is driving me nuts.

I have no friends in the area and I don't want to have any in my hometown. Too many faces that I have seen for way too long.

I'm not married/no kids. No ties.

I don't know. I just want to leave. Has anybody just said enough, I am leaving?

and left? I mean just pick up one day without any plan and drive off into some other state or region?

suki44883

My thoughts: It's very rare that where we live is the cause of our problems. A genuinely upbeat person can make lemonade out of lemons. Even under the worst circumstances, they can find ways to be happy. On the other hand, a person who is not internally happy can be miserable under the very best of circumstances.

Sometimes a fresh start can be helpful, but remember...wherever you go, there you are.

Rift

Thanks. I am just sick of my situation. I'm sick of the people and hell they are probably sick of me b.c I am miserable. Everday sucks so bad. Terribly. I dread every single day. I have no plan though. No job lined up. Not a lot of money really.

I'm just sick of it so bad. Been here way too long.

suki44883

I understand. There have been times I've felt the same way. Maybe find out the real reason why you are miserable and work to fix that. It can't all be outside influences.

doggonecarl

>I just want to leave.

Then leave. Nothing stopping you. Go for it. My sister is a nurse, worked with terminally ill patients. She told me that when people are dying, they are rarely sorry for what they did, as they have usually made amends for that. No, what they regret is what they didn't do.

Just understand, when you pack up to leave, your attitude goes with you. You may move and still be miserable and hate your life. So at least pick some place with good weather.

finrodfelagund

I agree, your past stays with you. I moved to Germany running from a long battle with opiates and still managed to have an alcoholic breakdown there. BUT--since I have sorted things out HERE and gotten sober HERE, things are much better. Certainly much better than they would have been back home. At home there is too much past, too many people I've used with, too many places I've used, and to be frank--too many people I've hurt or alienated. So my opinion is this: wherever you go, your life is what you make of it and the geographical change will not cure you. But if you have a positive attitude and carry it into a new place then it can be one of the best things ever to happen to you. For instance--I never really wanted to get sober for myself at home, i did it for my family, for my ex, for my employer, etc. But i Germany I was totally on my own, I owned my life, and found I was screwing it up, and then I put the pieces back together MYSELF, and that made all the difference! Own it, live it, love it baby!

Zebra1275

Geographical cures don't usually work, since you still have to take "yourself" along with you.

However, I hear what your saying and if nothing is holding you to your current geographical spot on earth, then I would consider moving too. If it were me I would do some research before I went any where on such things as the job market, cost of living, weather, population, etc.

CarolD

finrodfelagund,,,Welcome...

All my best as you move forward with your new clean and sober life...

AcceptingChange

I left my hometown at 23, which i'm very glad i did. I wish i had a large group of friends, but i figured out that i didn't have 'friends', i just had people i stood around with and drank.

A few authors have done what you're planning, and written their experiences. The one that sounds similar to yours is "Blue Highways" by William Least Heat Moon. He gets let go from his job as a professor, and then his wife leaves him. So he takes out the US map and goes down every non-interstate road, which is every highway marked in blue on the map. He meets all kinds of different people.
"Travels With Charley" by John Steinbeck is the same idea. I didn't read that one though.

If you browse those titles on Amazon.com, others will come up.

You're lucky if your life situation allows you to up and leave. It can make a difference in your life.

Latte

My friend once said, "wherever you go, there you are." Wise wise words.

It gets better.

AcceptingChange

I've read that you shouldn't make any significant life changes for the 1st 12 months (or longer) of your sobriety. It takes at least that long to start to learn to handle life's setbacks without the chemical escape hatch. Deciding to 'up and move' is extremely stress-filled and complicated (unless you've got a lot of money). Strangers are much less kind than people you know (even when the hometown folks aren't too kind).

I was considering a major life change after about 10 months. But i talked to my sister, and helped me see that the timing was wrong. She didn't say "don't do it". Instead, she said "Wait a bit, then do it." I'm very glad i waited, because the mood i was in when i was considering the change is much different than the mood i'm in now. I really think it would have been a mistake for me.

So maybe take some time to plan the move. Figure out where you're gonna go, what you're gonna do, and how you're gonna fund it. If you just move to a different city and look for a job, you'll be extremely stressed trying to find an apt, paying 2 months rent up front, trying to find a job, not like the job you find right away, etc. If it's the right move for you, waiting a few months won't hurt. There is a difference between running "from" something, and running "to" something. So if you don't have a better situation to go to that warrants the impulsive act, waiting a bit may help.