SISTEMA

Ok. I have read alot of posts on here today, as well as the responses to mine.
I went to the shops this afternoon to buy something for dinner (next to the grog shop) and I resisted.
Then......something got to me, I thought I could resist but nooo. I have had a bottle of wine tonight. Today a few years back I lost someone I love dearly, but is that a good enough reason? I dont think so. I really, really thought today i could do it

Dee74

It takes a lot to change a life...alcohol was all I knew to turn to for years and years...Try and not get discouraged if you falter.

You just need to find new things to turn to.
Look hard, work hard - and you will

D

SISTEMA

But what can I turn to? What have other ppl turned to?

CarolD

When I wanted to quit...I checked out my local AA meetings....
Why don't you try that?

AcceptingChange

Sistema,

Dgillz's link to the CDC's healthy drinking recommendations is the best tool you can use. Basically,
You shouldn't drink more than 2 drinks a night, nor 7 drinks a week.
-
I was in the same position you were three years ago. One thing i did was kept a drinking journal, tracking whether I drank the night before, and how much, plus some thoughts on my feelings.
It showed me my drinking was way over the healthy limit. I tried cutting back, but that didn't work.

You asked an intelligent, self-aware question. Those of us who asked it before you came to the conclusion we do have a problem, and we cannot control our drinking.
I hope you take action to avoid the terrible outcomes that millions of people experience from their active addictions. Drinking escalates. If it didn't, you'd stop at one glass, and not drink the whole bottle. I know people who can stop at one glass. But I can't.

Please keep posting!

DayTrader

That "something"......it may just be alcoholism. Alcoholism, at it's most basic, is having little or no control over the amount once you start......and not being able to keep from starting up in the first place.

What you described, it's basically drinking against your will. You set your mind to NOT drink.....yet.......you ended up drinking just like you always have. In that scenario, you lacked the power to enforce your will. <--That's one of the reasons we, in AA, talk so much about what your actions are rather than what your thoughts/feelings are. If thoughts and feelings were sufficient to keep me sober, believe me.......I'd not be in AA and I wouldn't be working the program like I do.

I suspect, you probably weren't all that proud of yourself today.........and that shame and guilt.........it just piles a little more weight on your shoulders...........which, in turn, makes it even more difficult to avoid the bottle on the next occasion you set your mind to not drinking and that little "something" fires off in your head again.

............I promise you..... that stuff.........above............it's a problem...........a BIG problem. Luckily, there ARE solutions. The question isn't whether you have a problem but are you willing and to what lengths are you willing to go to get past the problem and get a happy and fulfilling life back?

Raquell

One day at a time Sistema, there is lots of support here at SR if you need it.

SLD

Dear Sistema - when you are having little drinking arguments in your head, it's something to pay attention to.

Non-alcoholics don't have these debates. They open a nice Bordeaux or Merlot to drink with their meal, and think nothing of it. If a little voice inside of you is convincing you that it's OK, that there's no problem... then there's usually a problem.

I have been in awe at how devious my own little voice can be.

"I've earned it. Work was hard today."

"My daughter is in town with her new husband. Time to celebrate."

The list is endless, the logic is twisted, but the little voice always seems to win out, and we drink. Now, you need to cultivate a different voice, one that dominates and says "NO, I don't need this, and here's why..."

Best wishes, sooo many of us totally understand.

1undone

Turn to reading for now. You know the problem so maybe now you need to understand it better. Hang out, post and read. These conclusions take time.

MrDavid

Maybe, developing a sober routine would be a good first step. A routine, that includes networking with people, who can be your eyes and ears and voice of reason, especially in early sobriety. Having one drink with dinner may not constitute having a problem, SISTEMA, but a bottle of wine "every night" certainly does to me. I suggest you stay connected via "SR" and search through some threads on powerlessness before you embark on any campaign like controlled drinking. You can also stop by a AA meeting and just listen, if you feel like it. We will be here to support you every "step" of the way, just in case.

soberkellyxo

I just stumbled on here and I feel exactly the same as the OP. I just joined this a few hours ago and I'm starting to realise I probably do have a bit of a problem. I hope staying here helps though.

SLD

SoberKelly, it helps me just to come here and read, occasionally post. It's odd, I used drugs years ago and had major problems with them, but never with alcohol... until recently. I've learned that I am NOT in control of it, so it's goodbye to alcohol for me. I hate the notion, but it needs to be done.

I didn't get drunk, never blacked out, couldn't relate to some of the horror stories (God bless them) but I knew I was drinking way too much, and the trend was more and more. Best to nip it before those horror stories visit me. I don't need them, I've got enough from the drugs.

finrodfelagund

This is AWESOME! Haha you have me cracking up, as I would have written the same thing, word-for-word. lol

finrodfelagund

@ Systema--

There was a time for me when not drinking seemed like social suicide. When it seemed like the world would come crumbling down and I would be one of those stereotypical, cranky dry drunks that people lambast on TV, part of the AA cult and completely un-fun to be around.

It's nothing like that. People really, really don't care if you drink or not. True friends and people who love you would rather have the real you around than watch you spiral downwards. If you are having these conversations with yourself, I would say it's time to quit. You are so lucky in that you don't have to end up in a gutter, you don't have to lose your job and family--you can keep all these things and never, ever experience just how bad it can get. I know it's hard to hear and understand right now, but I would say this is what some people call a "soft bottom". You realize you have a bit of a problem, and now you have a chance to get it under wraps. Don't lose that chance, for it only gets worse from here (haha, trust us!). If you stop and check out some AA or a similar program, it's only up from here!